Caleb 51 - Revelation

Authors note:

Yada yada Thanks to Dr Mark as always Yada Yada rate and comment. Yada.

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Caleb 51 - Revelation

They took Zachariah away. He shuffled out looking every day of his one hundred and eighty years old.

I sighed sadly. I'd thought it would feel good to finally get my revenge, to put that old man in his place, but it didn't. I just felt like a bully in the playground. I'd picked on someone far weaker than me, and they had had no defence.

"Thank you everyone," said Judge Roder. "If you would all please wait outside..."

I turned to leave.

"Mr. Stott." It was the judge. "I'd like a moment of your time please."

I looked at Maggie, eyebrow raised, but she shrugged.

Dean gave me a reassuring pat on my shoulder.

"I'll wait outside," he said.

It took a few moments to clear the room. When the door closed behind the last person to leave, I was left standing in front of the judge's desk. Melissa, I noticed, was still at her post.

"Please sit," The judge said indicating the seat that Zachariah had previously occupied. I sat.

"You don't seem satisfied with the outcome," she said after a moment. I grimaced.

"I'm not," I said, "but not for the reason you might think."

She raised an eyebrow.

"I feel..." I began not knowing how to put it into words. "I don't know. He was dangerous, sure, and it needed to be done. I get all that. So then why do I feel so guilty about having done it?"

"Because you're a good man," Melissa had spoken. "And good men don't like hurting others, no matter how justified it is, and no matter how much they may deserve it."

I looked at the judge.

"She's right," said the judge. "I've been watching you, Caleb. I've seen all the reports of pretty much everything you have done since discovering your power. You've made mistakes but let he who is without sin and all that."

"You have proven time and time again that, when it matters, you make the right choices. Yes, you may have bought a few beers underage using your power..."

My eyes widened and she smiled.

"The Eversons did watch you pretty closely," she said, "but each time you were really tested, you chose right. You did the right thing. Even today. What you did was the right thing, and the fact that doing it disturbs you makes me even more confident in your ability to make those choices.

"There were others," she said, "in the room in whom I do not have the same confidence. Some of whom are or may, in the future, be in positions of authority over you. I want you to know that if you are ever in a position where you question an order you receive, or where you don't believe that what you are being ordered to do is the right thing, you can call me.

"Too many times the 'I was just obeying orders!' defence is offered in trials of the military and of law enforcement, and it is rarely successful. We aren't recruiting robots into our organizations. We want people with the capacity and capability to think for themselves. Remember, also, that the oath is not to the bureau or to your commander, not even to POTUS himself; you have sworn an oath, and will be swearing it again, to the constitution. If ever you feel an order you have been given is not lawful, or more fundamentally violates your oath, then use your judgement and call me."

She picked a card from a holder on her desk and handed it to me.

"You do realize I will tell both Dianna and Maggie about this?" I asked. She grinned at me.

"As I said," she maintained, "you make the right choices. Both of them will immediately think I was referring to them. It will keep them on their toes, and honest."

"It's nice to have uses," I said, almost sarcastically but with an air of bitterness.

She regarded me impassively for a moment.

"You need to grow up, Caleb," she said to me, not unkindly. "We are all tools for someone. You think that any boss cares individually for all their employees, for all the employees of their suppliers, or all the employees of their distribution network? Do they care about the welfare of their mailman, the cable guy, or the guy that cuts their lawn?

"We are all parts of a machine. We are tools for someone else to use. That is your professional life, and that's what you get paid for. And before you say you're not 'in' the bureau yet, ask yourself 'who is putting three thousand dollars a month into your account?'

"If we were to be personally involved then that would be different. I'm sure that your fiancées see you in a completely different light. But to me, everyone that works for me, and by several degrees of separation that includes you, is a tool for me to use and those tools allow me to do my job.

"Personally, I like to look after my tools, and I try and treat them well and with respect. I try not to shove the fact that I'm only using them down their throat at every opportunity but sometimes, like now, it has to be pointed out to them.

"Don't confuse personal and professional relationships. Your problem with Maggie and Dianna is that they are both family too. So, the lines blur. Separate out the two in your mind. Don't think of ADD Forbes as Maggie, or as Grandma; think of her as, and address her as, ADD Forbes or Ma'am. Same with Dianna. She's Special Agent Everson or Ma'am.

"Then, when you clock out, Maggie and Dianna can truly be your family without all of the workplace formality and encumbrances. They are different people, Caleb. They need to be to do their jobs. They need it too. At some point they are probably going to have to order you into harms way. How much more difficult is that going to be for them if you are Caleb the grandson and not Agent Stott?

"Separate it out."

I looked at Melissa. She wasn't looking at me, but at her hands which were resting in her lap.

"Her too," said the Judge.

I nodded. It made sense, and she was right.

"Now," she said. "I have one final favour to ask of you, and then you're free to go."

I cocked my head to one side.

"Melissa here, like two of your fiancées, has endometriosis," she said. "That means that for almost one week out of four she is out of action, and I have to put up with a random power user. It's really irritating to have to do this. So I'd like, if you would be willing, for you to take care of her. Then she can get back to doing her job."

I quirked a smile at the judge. She'd couched that request in such a way as to make it look like the only reason she wanted Melissa helped, was to give her, the judge, an uninterrupted service she needed in the office. Her mind, and aura, told a different story.

"Did you forget I'm an Empath too?" I asked. The judge looked puzzled and looked at Melissa who was smiling gently.

"What does that mean?" asked the judge.

"It means," said Melissa, "that he can read your aura, and knows that you are not the uncaring selfish old battle-axe that you pretend to be."

The judge glared at me for a moment.

"Hey," I said holding my hands up. "I didn't say old."

"Just get on with it," growled the judge glaring at us both.

I looked at Melissa. "May I?" I asked, and she nodded.

It was the work of moments to set the correct things in motion. It would take about a week for her body to fully absorb the instructions I'd given it, but it would, and by the time she was due again, it would all be resolved.

"Okay," I said.

Melissa looked a little shocked. "Is that it?" she asked.

I nodded. "All done," I said. "As with the judge it will take about a week for things to sort themselves out, but after that you should be all good."

Melissa smiled at me. "Thank you," she said.

"Any time," I replied.

I looked back at the judge and saw our meeting was over. I stood.

"Thank you for your time," I said. She nodded at me. I smiled at Melissa.

"What did she want?" asked Maggie almost before the door to the judge's chambers had closed behind me.

"To give me her card," I said, "and to tell me that if you ever gave me an order I thought was unconstitutional, I was to call her."

Maggie's eyebrows went up. "Did she now?"

"She didn't mention you specifically," I said. "She said anyone."

Dianna looked at me. "And will you?" she asked.

"Like a shot," I said grinning at the pair of them while tucking the judge's card into my wallet.

Dianna chuckled, "Well, that's us told."

"I doubt I'll ever need it," I said, my face becoming serious. "I trust you both to always do the right thing."

"Keep the card in your wallet," said Maggie, "and never be afraid to use it."

We walked back to the car. "What's your plan for the rest of the break?" Maggie asked as we set off, again with Dianna driving.

"We were going up to Dean's place for a couple of weeks," I said. "Then we were going to spend a few days at my parents. As Dean said, I need to mend some fences there but there really isn't the room for us to stay for long."

"So. . .you're coming back the weekend before you are due back in school?" she asked.

"Yes," I said. "Probably on that Saturday. That will give us the Sunday to prepare to start classes. That reminds me, our grades should be published today. We can check them when we get home."

"I need to have a chat to you about your joining the bureau," said Maggie. "You said that you might have changed your mind?"

"I don't know," I said. "I guess there is so much I want to do, so many things I could do. I always wanted to be in law enforcement and the FBI was definitely on my radar. I guess I'm just like any other senior in college. I'm trying to figure out the next steps. I do want to join, but there are other things I'm interested in too. But then again, I have a long working life ahead of me and I don't necessarily need to spend my entire working life as a fed. Isn't there compulsory retirement?"

"We're exempted," Dianna said. "For obvious reasons."

"Good to know," I said.

"I wanted you to know," said Maggie, "that if you do decide that the FBI isn't for you, I won't hold it against you. Things have moved so far past where we were just a year ago. I got to know you, and...well...just...you don't need to join if you don't want."

"I do want," I said gently. "But I might not want to make it my whole career. Maybe only the first forty years or so?"

Dean chuckled. "You'll need to take some time off then to come look after Cheryl and me."

"I doubt it will be necessary," I said, "but you know we would."

"I know son," he said. "I know."

Dianna and Maggie declined our invitation into the house for something to eat and took off almost as soon as we closed the doors of the SUV. Mary and Amanda were standing at the open door. They looked at me a question in their eyes.

"It's done," I said. "Zacharia no longer has any powers."

Both twins sighed in apparent relief.

"What about Heath?" they asked.

"He has some punishment coming," I said, "but he'll survive it intact. I actually have some sympathy for him given his life growing up, but hopefully he'll learn."

"I made some lunch," said Ness, "before we head back."

We ate, and then headed back to the airport where Gerry was waiting with the jet.

I declined his invitation to ride on the flight deck with him. I was still out of sorts from this morning and wanted to think things through.

Prior to yesterday, if I'd been told I'd be the downfall of the Everson Council, and be able to strip Zacharia Everson of his power, I'd probably have been ecstatic. They were the evil Eversons who had kept my family under their jackboot for generations. When I'd discovered the binding oath, I had been so incensed that I would have been capable of just about anything. But, as it happens, my rage eased, reason reasserted itself, and I realized that, for all the anger and frustration I felt, I kind of understood how we had come to be in this position. I didn't for a second excuse it, but I could see how they, particularly someone as old as Zacharia, could rationalize to themselves why they should continue. For him, the past was still present.

I'd celebrated bringing the Everson Council down, but what had I actually achieved? I'd simply taken the Everson family off the board for a time while they reorganized. From what Matilda had said there were probably not that many candidates for the council in their family. Could I do something about that? Could I speak to Abuela Gonzales and explain that it was all Zacharia, and that they should allow the rest of the council to continue?

If I did that, though, I'd be taking responsibility for them, not only for their future conduct, but more to the point accepting their past conduct. It's easy to scapegoat Zacharia, but the remaining two did have the opportunity to change things - they could have stood up to him. They could have worked together, but they were too frightened, too cowardly, and allowed him to browbeat them into actions that they knew to be illegal, immoral, and just plain wrong.

No. They didn't get a pass. They were as responsible as he was. Maybe we could build a relationship with them over time, maybe not. But I wasn't going to speak for them to Abuela Gonzales or anyone else.

This train of thought had my anger rising again and I took a breath, centring myself.

I felt Mary's hand on my arm. I looked at her and smiled. All the girls were watching me, a little concern in their eyes, but none had tried to talk to me. I guess they'd sensed that I needed to work this out for myself.

The spike of anger reminded me of the first time that I'd made the journey to the Ranch. Yes, we'd been driving then, not flying, but the rage I'd felt had been similar. Only then I'd been mad at Maggie and the FBI - for what? Some dumb transgressions that I shouldn't have gotten all bent out of shape about. Something about an illusion where my girls had lied to me - or withheld information. That was it. Jesus, how much of a prick was I back then? How much of a prick was I now?

Speaking of being a prick, what the hell had I done to my parents?

I'd always gotten along with my parents as I grew up. My father never once raised his hand to me, and any punishment required was left to my mother. That's not to say that she was any freer with her fists either. Neither of them had ever hit me. My mother, though, could guilt people for America.

Strange that, since I'd come into my powers, she hadn't tried to do that to me. Maybe she was the one feeling the guilt. As she should....

Or should she?

It had been said from the beginning that they had had no choice in the way my upbringing was handled. The rules, set by the Eversons, and the advice from the Matriarch of their line determined their actions. I'd thought that they'd sided with those people against me, but once again I'd been wrong. My father had been bound. His oath had made sure that he was unable to disobey the rules of the council, even if he had considered them to be wrong.

Strangely I'd never asked him that question. Perhaps I should, or perhaps I should put it behind me and look forward rather than consistently looking back and finding stuff to complain about. There was no doubt I'd become a whiny little bitch, constantly feeling sorry for myself. Every time I met any kind of headwind I'd go off on some rant about how unfair everything was, how I didn't ask for any of this, and how badly done to I was.

So lets tally my life up. Exactly how bad off was I?

I had four, count them FOUR, beautiful fiancées who literally worshipped me. I equally worshipped the ground they walked on. I felt the love from them, even now, through the connection. I'd not spoken to any of them since taking off and they'd respected my wish to have some me-time. Me-time. . .what a prick. What was so special about Me that I was entitled to go off in a sulk every time something unpleasant happened? Didn't it happen to them too? Wasn't the deposing of the Everson Council, the revelation of their sins, and the stripping of power of one of their most senior family members actually far MORE of a blow to the twins than it was to me?

All right, it had been me who had done the stripping, but that could be even worse for them. I had done it. I'd attacked their family and just assumed that they'd be fine with it. Because it was me, because it was just, because, because, because.

I'd gotten sidetracked. I was tallying up how bad off I was. So, four beautiful fiancees. Mary and Amanda. Stunningly beautiful. Mary more considered, apparently more intelligent, but don't let Amanda's happy go lucky demeanour fool you - she's not dumb. Then there's Jules. Quirky, quick witted, and with more love to give than I'd ever have imagined a single person could. Finally, last but definitely not least, Ness. Fiery and fierce, but vulnerable too. I couldn't imagine being without a single one of them. My heart ached at the mere thought of that possibility, and yet, here I was isolating myself from them again - with them mere inches away. What the fuck?

Anyway - still tallying. I had in-laws who could be my parents. I loved both of them fiercely and felt it reciprocated. And then I had my parents. Once again I realised how badly I'd treated them, but even so they still loved me. I felt it. I knew it. There was so much I needed to apologise for, to both of them really, but primarily to my mother. The snide comments, ignoring them, each jibe I'd directed at them played through my head, an aural testament to just how much of an asshole I'd been. What made it worse was that I could remember the righteous indignation I'd felt every time I'd delivered one of these barbs. It was like I was getting vengeance for being wronged when, in fact, all I had been doing was hurting them, insulting them, decrying them for something they had neither choice nor control over.

Then I had Josh and Louise. Louise, who had literally shown me what love was. And Josh, who'd not only allowed it, but encouraged it, and joined in, loving me with an intensity only second to that of his love for Louise. I had no idea how they did it, or why I deserved it, but it felt so good to be around them.

The same was becoming true of Dana and Gracie. It was embryonic, but I could feel the seeds growing within them. They would be another couple who's love for each other would grow exponentially but even so, their love for us would be there growing with it, supporting it, nurturing it.

And Dianna. And Maggie and. . .there were so many people who I'd railed against. I won't say that there was no justification for it but, with the benefit of hindsight, I could have, SHOULD have, done much better. I could think of several occasions where I'd lashed out at Dianna and Maggie for no other reason than they were there. That was evil, it was cruel, and it was not the man I wanted to be.

I had to do better.

So - since I was surrounded by all these people who loved me so much - there has to be a down side right? Something to even things out? Cosmic balance?

Well, it wasn't my body. I was young, fitter than I'd ever been in my life - apparently going to live for three to four times my previous life expectancy, and I was practically immune to every disease. I could die but death would have to work fucking hard to get me.

Was there something I'd change about my body given a choice?

The thing is, I had the choice, and hadn't changed a thing. That told me everything I needed to know.

So Mr. Cosmic Balance, what was I lacking in my life to balance out my perfect body and all the people who loved me?

Was I poor? Fuck no - I was richer than I had ever imagined being. I had over five million dollars in my bank account, and all of my fiancées were loaded also.

So where was it? What was the flaw in my otherwise perfect existence? There had to be one. There always was.

Then it came to me.

I was a dick!

Pure and simple. I was a spoiled brat with gross issues of entitlement. I went off into tantrums every time something didn't go quite my way. And what was it this time that had sent me to the floor kicking my legs and screaming?