Caught and Kept!

She replied, "The affair, if that's what you want to call it, is all on me and not on us. I do know it will take both of us to fix what I did if we even can.

"I beg you to find it in your heart to try. I apologize for the hurt, the anger and the disrespect I caused. I don't want a divorce. A divorce would devastate me. I want forgiveness. Please.

"I can assure you that, although you may never trust me again, I will never do anything that would violate the trust you had in me before I fucked up so royally. I'd also like to go to counseling, both by myself and together with you as a couple."

"That's reasonable," I said. "But damn, baby, it's still so raw right now."

Deanna rose and came around the table. Her intent was unclear. I sure wasn't in the mood for a hug or a kiss. I didn't get any. Instead, my distressed wife knelt on the floor beside me and placed her forehead on my thigh. She laid my right hand on the back of her head and she clasped her own hands behind her.

So positioned, Deanna showed me her heart, "Kevin my treasured husband, I beg you to forgive me for the wrongs I have committed against you, our marriage and our family. I pledge to you, without hesitation, my bottomless love and my unwavering fidelity now and forever.

"I understand that I am to be judged by my actions. They will from this moment forward be exactly as you would expect them to be. None of my past transgressions will ever again stain the fabric of our marriage.

"This I solemnly swear on my own life and on all that I hold dear. In so doing I place my love, my hope, and our marriage in your hands, and I place my very life at your tender mercy."

I was deeply moved. My eyes teared up and I didn't even try to hide it. I placed my hand on Deanna's warm, damp hair and managed to choke out, "I accept your pledge, Deanna, and will assist you in any way I can." I pulled her tearful face to mine, then I kissed her gently and added, "I love you, my wife. I'm angry and hurt, but I do love you. I forgive you, but it's going to be hard to forget."

This may come off as overly dramatic—as something almost out of a romance novel. Well, it isn't. It was real. You had to have been there to appreciate why. Deanna laid herself out in front of me, wholly vulnerable and emotionally defenseless. My words describe that only adequately.

More than an hour later I was in our bedroom changing when Deanna's cell phone rang. The caller ID showed that it was Ed, so I answered and didn't say a word. In a moment, he said, "Dee, is that you? Can you talk?"

"No, Ed, this is K and I don't want to talk, but I'll give Deanna her phone." Deanna heard the ring downstairs and was at the top of the stairs already, so I handed her phone to her. I went to leave, and she grabbed my arm, shaking her head. Deanna pointed at the floor, indicating that she wanted me to stay.

"Yes, Ed, as a matter of fact, I can talk." She listened.

"What do you mean, I sound mad?" Pause.

"Yes, at you but mostly at myself." Pause.

"Yes, what we did was..." Ed loudly cut her off.

"No, I don't remember what he said to you." Longer pause.

"So, if he does, he does. You and I deserve..." Ed interrupted again.

"I wouldn't believe it either if I were your wife." Pause.

"Well, why did you put the damn condom in your pocket...?" Pause.

Angrily, Deanna spat, "So now it's Kevin's fault your wife caught you?" Pause.

"Oh, it's MY fault! Well, you asshole, you were the one that suggested a romp in my marital bed!"

Long pause. Deanna put the phone on speaker. All we heard was a woman's shrill yelling, and then we were disconnected.

Deanna sat on the unmade bed and ran her fingers through her still-damp hair. With tearful eyes, she said, "A wife and two little kids, and I'm partly to blame. All to blame maybe, because I had the power to stop this train wreck." She cried softly. "I'll have to live with that, too." I pulled her close to me because, well because I love my wife, and because I realize she's fallible and she's hurting.

Deanna continued, "I guess you told him to pick up the condom?" I nodded. "Well, you must've scared him because he put it in his pants pocket."

After he left, Ed says he took the cab to the dealer and picked up his Tahoe. When he finally got home, his wife noticed his ear. She didn't buy his story and I guess when he ditched his pants for a shower, she snooped and found the condom.

"Now he's wondering what you'll do, Kevin. He's thinking of the work implications, although from what we heard over the phone, I think he's got bigger problems at home!"

I said, "I'm torn between calling your HR Director and not calling him. I'd like them to kick Ed's ass to the curb, but you're involved too, and then there's his family to consider."

Deanna took my hands in hers and said, "Setting things right isn't your problem, Kevin. It's mine. I'm going to HR tomorrow. I should've stopped this shit immediately because he's my damn boss. I told you I'm taking ownership of my actions, and going to HR is step one."

I assured Deanna that I would stand behind her whatever the outcome, even if she were fired.

After a quiet supper of delivery pizza and salad, we watched a little television. Our daughter went to a play rehearsal. The way that Brandy hugged and kissed us before she left suggested that she knew something wasn't right between us. Like her mother's, Brandy's eyes say it all.

Deanna snuggled close to me, still in her robe, and said, "Don't take this wrong because I'm simply curious. How did you happen to come home when you did? Did you suspect something?"

I shook my head. "No. It was totally by chance." Then I went through all the improbable circumstances that led my discovery.

Deanna took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. "Well, I'm glad it's over. I feel like the spell has been broken. Maybe... maybe... evil gets inside us when we do small, seemingly harmless things. Those little things, well, they're like baby steps. We change slowly by tiny increments, and before we realize it, we're not even close to who we were.

"Shit, I knew infidelity is wrong, but I was unfaithful anyway. The person I I've become is a stranger to me." Her eyes were intense, worried.

I knew Deanna was beating herself up more effectively than I ever could.

If I'd reacted more aggressively when I caught Deanna with her boss, she might've responded defensively with that tedious, "you made me cheat" bullshit. She could've rushed impetuously out of the house with her bags, or worse called the police to report a domestic disturbance. No, due to circumstances I started out on the high ground, and I was smart enough to keep it. Deanna's reaction directly reflected the way I approached her. High ground is the place to be!

I'd been tempted and ran right up to the brink, but I think I held it together pretty well. You just can't catch your wife getting fucked in your own marital bed and then decide to unsee the betrayal. That was the ache that just kept on throbbing. You can't unsee something like that no matter how hard you want to!

As if reading my mind, Deanna said, "I can only imagine how my trysts with Ed have wounded you. I've asked myself over and over how I'd feel If I saw you having sex with another woman. Baby, I am so, so sorry. I can't undo it, but I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make it better!"

Sometime later, Bandy came home and sat with us for a bit before going to her room. She finally asked, "Is anything wrong? Are y'all okay?"

I said, "Yeah, Baby Girl, sometimes we hit a rough spot, but we love each other, and we love you; we'll get past it." My wife nodded and smiled in agreement. Then Deanna placed her hand over mine and squeezed.

Brandy smiled and seemed relieved. "Okay, I need to finish some homework." She paused on her way out of the room and added, "Rough spot? Earlier, y'all looked like you'd hit a sinkhole, but I can see you're doing better now. G'night. I love you both!" She blew us kisses as she left.

Deanna smiled. "Perceptive, kid."

I nodded. "Yep, she's a keeper, that one. Just like her mother."

Deanna gave me a sweet kiss on the lips and said, "I'm going to get ready for bed."

"Yeah, I'll be up there in a bit. I woke up way too early this morning."

Moving Forward

When I slipped into bed, Deanna was still awake. The smell of clean sheets and what appeared to be a touch of odor eliminator was strong, but I also caught a hint of freshly applied perfume. I leaned over to kiss her, and she rolled into me. Deanna took my face in her strong hands and pulled my mouth to hers. Our long, lingering kiss was hotter and steamier than any we'd shared in a long time.

I felt the cool, nylon-silkiness of a black negligee against my torso. Deanna's eyes were heavy with lust and need. My mind screamed, "Are you up for this? Tonight?" My cock answered, "Yes," as Deanna pushed me onto my back and hissed into my mouth, "Fuck me, Kevin! Reclaim me, lover! I want you inside me. I want you to blast your seed into me. I want you to make me yours forever."

There went my doubts. Yes, there was the drive to erase Ed's presence in the most primal way a man can, but the intense love I felt for my wife drove me as well.

My love burned through my pain. It melted my jealousy and my anger. I slipped into Deanna's wetness, and she rode me furiously to a strong, boisterous orgasm. Still panting from her climax, Deanna rolled onto her back and pulled me over on top of her. She said, "Now fuck me, darling! Pound into me and take your pleasure! Fill me with your cum!"

I know how Deanna thinks, and I think she understood the effect that the troubling scene I'd witnessed had on me. In her amazing way, she therefore orchestrated my reclamation of her differently.

She took my face in her hand and positioned me on my elbows. Deanna gazed into my eyes, nearly nose-to-nose, and spoke. "Fuck me, baby...fuck! Baby, baby! I love you! Fuck! Give it to me, baby...ohhhhh, yes! Deep! Pound my pussy! Give it all to me! Yes! I fucking love you, Kevin! Ohhh..."

I stay in decent shape for a 41-year-old guy, but I'd never fucked Deanna like I was fucking her now! The sweat flowed from both of us; mine dripped from my face onto hers. Our sweaty bodies slapped together, and the salty streams ran into our eyes. As I pounded her cunt, she kept up the nasty, sexy dialogue. Her eyes were intense as she held me in her gaze. "Mmmmmuuunnh baby! Oh...Oh... Fuck...F-f-fuuuuck! I looooove youuuuu..."

Suddenly, Deanna's eyes rolled back, and her face contorted as another intense orgasm swept over her. Those long, powerful legs locked around my waist, pulling me deeper into her seething core Her warm, gripping center set off my powerful orgasm. It had been several days since we'd made love, and I was full. Several powerful streams of hot cum flooded her welcoming depths.

As our breathing returned to normal, I caressed Deanna's sweaty body. Her wet, nearly transparent negligee clung to her beautiful curves. Her full breasts, with their dark areolas and hard nipples, peeked through enticingly. Deanna removed the spoiled, sodden garment and tossed it aside. We fell asleep in each other's arms, oblivious to everything except ourselves.

Trust but Verify

About noon the next day, I was in my home office finishing some work when Deanna walked in and kissed me. She leaned against the edge of my desk, looking emotionally spent. She had met with her HR manager that morning, and her sad, resigned expression spoke volumes.

I put on the brave face and said, "You're home in the middle of the day sweetie..."

Deanna nodded and said, "Yes. I'm on paid leave pending the resolution of the work side of my mess with Ed." She paused reflectively and continued, "Suspended with pay they call it." I understood why and guessed that the issue would be resolved in Deanna's favor.

Deanna continued "I went to HR as soon as I arrived at work this morning and spoke with our HR Manager. She called Ed shortly after that to hear his side of the story.

"After interviewing us separately, our boss, Mr. Gerson, met with me again. In his presence, the HR manager asked me why I didn't report that I was being harassed. "In all honesty, I told her, it didn't seem like harassment at the time.

"The analyst job offer had surfaced in my earlier discussion with the HR manager and she told Mr. Gerson about that when the three of us spoke.

"I could see that he was concerned about that development because Ed had sworn that he secured the position for me. However, when our HR manager and Mr. Gerson reviewed the interview notes, we found that that Ed's recommendation was in favor of Sherri.

"The manager confirmed that Ed even appealed my selection to Mr. Gerson before they offered me the job!

"After all that came to light, HR and Mr. Gerson called Sherri in for a discussion. I can't confirm it, but there may have had been something between Sherri and Ed, which might explain why he preferred her for the job. I don't know if there was any sex behind it. Either way, they fired Ed immediately, and Sherri went back to her desk as angry as I've ever seen any woman."

I said, "You know they can hardly fire you. A woman who's two pay grades below her immediate boss in a workplace relationship? You'd get a lawyer and take them to the cleaners."

She slowly nodded and bit her lower lip. "I could, but I won't. Shit, I am as responsible as he is."

"How did his ear look?"

Deanna smiled wanly. "Pretty bad. Red, blue, yellow and swollen."

She didn't seem to want to discuss that any further. Instead, she reached into her purse and handed me an envelope. "Open it," she said. "I wrote these notes while I was sitting in my car before I drove home. Add anything you think we need. These are for you, darling. It will take a while, but I'm committed to earning your trust back."

On a paper from a yellow note pad, Deanna had written in her beautiful, long-hand script:

Restoring Trust. My Plan and My Pledge to my Dear Husband—Deanna Hartung

The undersigned freely acknowledges that she has behaved in a way that disrespects both her husband and her marriage.

She is repentant and remorseful and wishes to make amends for her behavior in any and all ways necessary to restore her husband's trust, respect and love.

To that end she freely accepts these guiding principles, rules and restrictions and in so doing reaffirms her vows to her husband, pledges her fidelity to her husband alone and faithfulness to her vows.

1. I will never put myself in a situation where my marriage vows might be jeopardized. All interactions that I may have with other men shall unambiguously pass the 'Would My Husband Approve?' test.

2. I have violated my husband's trust and he may never trust me again. To regain his trust I will not take offense or umbrage if he checks on my behavior or location, asks others about me or my activities or if he forbids me from participating in activities where I might be unduly tempted to violate his trust in me.

Such activities may include girl's nights out, bridal showers, baby showers, bachelorette parties and any other such all-girl parties that I might be invited to unless I am accompanied by at least one female member of my family, for example, by my daughter, a sister-in-law or by any other mutually agreed on responsible female third party.

3. I will take no out-of-town business trips unless I am accompanied by my husband or by a mutually agreed on third party. My husband shall be able to disallow any such trips for any reason or for no reason at all. His decision shall be binding.

4. I enthusiastically commit to regular, wild, uninhibited, nasty sex with my husband whenever and wherever he so desires. I shall initiate such sex with my husband at every suitable opportunity. Either of us shall be able to declare our sex life to be stale and in need of refreshing, upon which we will both work to restore it.

5. I will drink no alcohol at Company functions including but not limited to team-building exercises, reward outings and Company parties, excepting the functions that I attend with my husband or with a mutually agreed on responsible party.

6. All workplace relationships I participate in shall conform to Company Employee Handbook rules, regulations and HR guidelines. I will report any workplace harassment, innuendo, proposition or conduct that violates any aspect of The Handbook immediately to both my husband and my Human Resources manager.

7. I will immediately and fully disclose to my husband any untoward advances initiated by other men and abide by any advice, recommendation, order, directive or demand that my husband cares to offer or impose.

8. I will place my marriage without exception ahead of all other considerations, ahead of other relationships and ahead of my career and professional success.

9. My husband has the passwords that protect my telephone, computer, and email account. I agree that he may inspect any or all of them as he sees fit. I welcome unannounced checks to demonstrate and verify that my intentions, actions and behavior fully meet his expectations.

10. This document may be amended by my husband without notice to me nor consultation. Such amendments shall be binding. I may amend this document only with the collaboration and approval of my husband.

I freely, willingly, and lovingly affix my signature hereto, pledging to comply with each pledge, to the best of my ability, so long as I shall live.

[signed] Deanna C. Hartung

A week later, Deanna showed up with a signed, notarized, legally filed, post-nuptial agreement. At first, I wanted to shred it because it was so unnecessary and redundant.

Deanna resisted. "Honey, this is a life insurance policy for our marriage! I know we'll never use it, but it's just another way to put teeth into my pledge to you, to myself, and to our future life together."

The terms of the agreement are draconian if she cheats again. I don't think she will.

Afterward

At the beginning of the following week, Deanna was called back to work. As I'd correctly surmised, she wasn't in trouble. In fact, she was offered a twenty-five-thousand-dollar settlement in compensation for Ed's harassment and to mitigate any future claims against the Company.

Deanna accepted the offer and promptly donated the money to her company's Employees Helping Employees Assistance Fund. That's the kind of girl she is and why I (still) love her.

Sherrie got one too. She donated it to herself and bought herself a pair of breast implants. She's now dating a thrice-divorced male stripper.

Ed didn't fare so well. He's now selling used cars at a large, self-financing car lot. He's not a talented salesman.

Ed's wife did reconcile with him but at a price. The word on the street is that one of his wife's conditions of reconciliation was a chastity cage that Ed is required to wear whenever he's away from home. It must be fun to wear one of those while trying to sell a car to a twenty-one-year-old vixen.

I wanted to run into him one day and say, "Hey, Eddie, I hear you're a charter member of Candi's key club." I wouldn't actually do that, but it's fun to think about.

Deanna has been going to a counselor, and I've attended some couple's sessions with her. They've concluded that the reasons that Deanna cheated were the result of deeper unresolved issues, most dating from childhood and fewer from our marriage. We're slowly but surely attending to them.

As to trust, Deanna continues to over-honor her pledges which is making a positive difference. She continually keeps me informed of her whereabouts and activities. Our therapist believes that this is as much about easing her fear of losing me as it is about alleviating my worry.