All Comments on 'Caught, Seduced and Caught Again'
by SouthernVaVoyeur85
- 13 Comments
I had a hard time identifying with the main character. To me, he comes off as a pretty big douchbag. I will give you credit for refining your writing skills since the last story you posted ("JenB and Son"), but you still have lots of room for improvement when it comes to actual dialog.
This was a waste of a story. It wasn't really written from the view of a teen ager but from the view of an adult.
I thought it was a first time story, whose first time? Sounds like it wants to be an insest story with him fucking mom and daughter together then fucking his own mom.
But I did give it three stars
Liked the story and gave it 5 stars, The only complaint I have is you over do the descriptions (ie) my 8 inch cock, We get the picture.
but I will stick with the dialogue. Ridiculous! NO ONE talks this way!
I can't tell whether or not Cindy is Jen's mother. Maybe if you could refer to her as Jen's Mom Cindy a few more times it would help clear up this confusion. "Hello Jen's Mom Cindy, I'm going to have sex with you Jen's Mom Cindy." There, part 2 of this story is complete, and you're welcome.
Also, what is the nature of the relationship between the main character and Elizabeth? There were not enough references to "adoptive Mom Elizabeth" for me to get a firm grasp on that whole situation.
Lets just fuck and suck our selves into insanity. Cunt lapping sex maniac.
Why it has to be an adapted mom? Why not just a real mom? Also Jen has to accept the fact and tell her dad that they have to get even by her having sexual intercourse with her dad in front of her mom. Then theyeventually start having a foursome.
Oopsy, its SLOW isn't it. Are you yourself in Junior High School? The dialogue in this is really juvinile. How many times did Cindy say,"adoptive mom Elizabeth", or 'Jen's mom Cindy'? You've got a pretty hot story that is building towards a quasi-incestous relationship. But you've got to get someone to proofread this stuff for you. There's no computer program, no spellcheck, nothing that will do for your work what another human being can. You also might consider going to your local Jr.College for some 'Grammer and Composition' classes and some courses pertaining to Rhetoric.
(10/23/2021) Well, this was kind of, well... loud and nasty, I guess. You didn't need to constantly remind the reader that this kid had an 8" cock or that his adoptive mom was named Elizabeth. He also sounded like a 40-year-old longshoreman and not an 18 year old. Cindy sounded like some old nasty prostitute. Are all the women in this story blonds? I need to agree with the anonymous commenter below of 6 years ago. Sorry, but I could only give this story 3 stars.
The repetition of “Jen’s Mom Cindy” is mind numbing and feels like it was cut and pasted in to either plagiarize someone else’s work. In fact, when I was reading this exact story in “Seduced & Milked Hard by Linda D. Nolan” on kindle I decided to search for a short section and found this. Of course in that book it was “My Mom Jennifer”. There were some slight other changes but the rest of the story was the same. So did Linda steal from you? Did you steal from Linda? Did both of you steal from someone else? Are you the same person? We may never know. But we will know that the repetition is redundant and annoying enough to make it nearly unreadable.
It could be a very good story if it wasn’t so repetitious. “Adopted mom Elizabeth”, “big teenage cock”, etc.