All Comments on 'Christmas Wish Mishap: Twin Bullies'
by Fibaro
- 16 Comments
Merry Christmas everyone. This is last years Christmas story from up on my Patreon: / A new Christmas story, along with two additional parts to this one is already up on my Patreon, so if you’re interested go and have a look.
another miserable nightmare from you. no love, light or hope. a very appropriate christmas story for 2020. a one star story for a one star year
Great story!
Kind of wish some part of Vince had been aware of what was happening to him the whole time but I have to admit it turned out great.
I think Chelsea deserve a nice xxxmas gift for herself, maybe Valerie.
Conceptually, I enjoyed how this story works. But I think you've got the characterizations wrong, here. Connor is literally a self-insert hentai protagonist with no social skills or redeeming qualities, we know next to nothing about him for us to be able to sympathize with him, and therefore when Vince gets his comeuppance, it feels almost villainous for Connor to take the actions he took. Moreover, having Vince make such permanent changes, such as with the makeup, completely ruins the opportunity of having an interesting dynamic if you were to continue writing in this world. There's no back-and-forth, no conflict, if Vince has no choices to make. He literally was only angry on behalf of his sister, which is completely justifiable. Even if he's an arrogant douche, that doesn't mean that an audience will automatically side against him, you have to demonstrate that he's deserving of what's coming for him. Well, whatever. It's just erotica, but I'd honestly suggest re-writing most of this story if you're thinking of continuing it, because as it is now there's no story reason to continue.
I thought that since conner filmed the whole shit he will definitely going to blackmail the twin sister of vince to get her onto his bed it would be a twisted turn in the story so please continue the story.
" 5'9", making Vince rather short for a boy."
every country that uses inches and feet all have average heights of 5'8" and below
Forget the haters this is a really great story to read and would be more of a great rest to continue this story. It can evolve into sim many directions. Forget the haters just do what you do best
Your title is “Twin Bullies” so the sister still needs her comeuppance.
This story should continue, with more backstory elaboration as suggested by other commenters.
Also, when Vince awakes from his wish in Connors bed, restrained, crossdressed and feminized, he might also do some soul searching as to how and why He and his sister became bullies.
An excellently written story beginning deserving of more exploration...
I've come back to read this one several times now. Characters losing control of their body but not their mind is great. Would love to see a sequel.
Please please pleeeeeease do another. Losing autonomy but no their mind, long term changes, it's phenomenal.
was this supposed to be as bleak as possible? it really belongs with the erotic horror tag, its kinda unsettling. the bully didnt even do anything wrong here, he thought his sister was assaulted so the permanency and severity of the punishment is horseshit, it’s like an Old Testament style erotic story lmao