Counseling Helps Occasionally

I'd married a year out of high school. He'd been in school with me and was a big guy. I'm big, too. He'd asked me out and I might have been the only one that said yes, but I was flattered. I'd seen him playing football and he could run over most of the other guys in school. He was a jock and into jock things. He liked watching sports, fishing and going out with the guys. He also made good money. He was the first guy I'd ever made love with and that first time he'd really hurt me. He was rough during sex, but kind when he found I was bleeding. It took me more than a week to heal and I hid it from Mom.

We did it again about two weeks later and it was a little better. It wasn't that I wasn't interested in sex, I mean I'd found Mom's vibrator when I was still young. I was eighteen and my friend's Mom had given me a vibrator as a birthday present. It may seem strange, but she'd given my friend one on her birthday, too, and she was kind of a cool Mom and we got along. I found that I liked the feel of it, and for awhile I thought that might be the only sex I'd ever have. Guys never asked me out.

After we were married almost two years I found out I was pregnant and was afraid to tell him. He bought all kinds of man toys. He had a new pickup truck and his folks had helped us buy a home. He was furious because he knew I was on the pill, but when I reminded him that I'd been asking him to stop and get my prescription for a month... and he never had... he cooled down. He still hollered and told me that I should have told him that I was out of pills. It was another four years before number two came along, and then we had an older daughter and a little boy. He kind of shined on our daughter, but he doted on our son, and he became more verbally abusive to me.

He always hollered at me and when it got too bad and I cried he'd just holler louder. I put on weight during that time... over forty pounds, and I felt miserable about myself. Why couldn't I ever please him? Why was everything I did always wrong? The end finally came when he came home and found our son with dirty diapers.

I'd been sick all week and had trouble even getting up, but I was doing everything I could. I'd changed the baby just over an hour before he got home, but he wouldn't listen. He screamed and berated me for almost two hours and called me every name he could. He accused me of being lazy and not caring, and of talking on the phone all day.

I had to leave. I was scared of him and took the kids and went to a motel. I was there for two days and then called home. He was apologetic and wanted us back, but mostly he wanted to know how the baby was. I went back and everything was okay for a few days before it started all over again. This time it was two months before I left again and I didn't go back.

He now has a new computer, new fishing gear, another new truck, and has spent a lot of money on power tools and lawn equipment. His favorites are a portable refrigerator for the truck and a big gas barbecue for the backyard. When I filed for divorce he threatened me. He also tried to get the children, and forced me to sign an agreement that said he owed me and the kids nothing from the divorce when it became final.

I didn't get the divorce for over a year because I couldn't afford it. A friend told me of a legal center that would handle it for almost nothing. My sister had been taking care of the kids for most of the time so that I could work to make a living. The job I had wasn't much and required a big person to do lifting. I hated it, but didn't have any skills or training so I stayed.

One day a gal I knew from work asked me to go to a dance with her and told me that maybe we could meet some nice guys. I told her about my kids but she suggested that I ask Sis to watch them. I resisted for almost two weeks, but finally did ask. Sis was great. She was happy for me and my brother-in-law was great too. I stopped by on the way to the dance and they both hugged me. He was a great hugger and I wondered why I couldn't find a great guy like Sis had.

Well, I went to the dance and it wasn't great but I did get asked for a couple of dances and I liked a man holding me, but nothing came of it. Another month went by and she wanted to go to the dance again and again Sis watched the kids for me. She even encouraged me. This time I met a nice guy who was kind of inebriated. We danced and he even tried to feel me up. His hands kept wandering to my ass, and his arm kept rubbing my breasts while we danced. His knee seemed to find its way against me, too. It felt good to feel him against me, and know that he was interested in me although it might just have been the liquor.

He asked for my number and told me where he worked. It was just down the street from where I worked and he called me the next day. When he wasn't drinking he was a very nice guy and it wasn't long before we were going together and then he asked me to move in with him. Sis wasn't sure, but after awhile she told me that it was alright and that I needed someone.

I moved in and it was almost a honeymoon for the first three months. He even insisted that I quit my job and he'd support us. He told me that I could then stay home and take care of the kids. It really sounded great, but I was afraid. My fright ended one day when my boss gave me a really bad time at work and accused me of not working hard enough. I'd been working through coffee breaks and lunch and staying over almost an hour each night. It was only a few minutes before I told him to take his job and shove it, and I walked out.

He tried to get me to come back to work and apologized, but I'd been home for two weeks without that job and I loved it. My boyfriend would leave me the car most of the time and catch a ride to work with a friend. I was really beginning to feel good about myself.

Suddenly things changed and he didn't come home after work. I worried all evening and finally I heard him being let off out front. He'd been drinking and when he got in he threw his arms around me and tried to kiss me. I pushed him away and he got mad. He dragged me into the bedroom and raped me. I was hurt and furious, but I could do nothing. The next morning he woke up with a hangover and remembered nothing.

It was only a few days and it happened again. He began drinking hard, and I found out that he'd had the problem before. I asked him to stop and he kept promising he would but it just got worse. One night he came home and threw me across the room and hit me.

I decided that I wanted to get out and take the kids with me. But, I felt like such a loser. I'd lost a husband and now a lover and I didn't have a job. I looked but couldn't get another job. I blamed myself. I was stupid and should have done something better. Maybe I could have gone to college, or waited to get married, or... I didn't know.

The beatings and berating got worse. Finally my friend from the job told me about a counseling session for women that was free and lasted eight weeks. The class met on Friday nights at an elementary school about fifteen minutes away. The meetings lasted about two hours and they'd helped her. I didn't even know she'd ever had a problem.

The counseling was devoted to women only and featured extensive help in understanding abuse and developing self worth. It was taught by a guy that seemed to really know what it was like and how to help. He was tall but not overly good looking and always seemed busy. He was devoted to his students and encouraged us to talk about our feelings. He even offered another night free every week. The classroom was donated by the city as part of an outreach program and except for expenses, he donated his time.

My boyfriend didn't know I was going and Sis watched the kids for me when I went. The meetings were on his big drinking nights each week and I had the car so I went. It was interesting and I understood most of what he was teaching us, but I didn't tell my story.

During the last two weeks I'd been having trouble with the car. It wouldn't want to start. People had helped me three different times to start it. A couple of other times it didn't seem like it was going to start, but then it did. I told my boyfriend, although I really didn't think of him this way anymore. He kept promising to fix it but he didn't. It was like his drinking problem when he'd say that he was going to quit but never did.

I took a shower and dressed and then dropped the kids off. My Sis wasn't home yet, but my brother-in-law was and he hugged me before I left. I'd never do anything with him except a sister's kiss or a hug, but there were times that my body really yearned for him to take me into the bed and... well... enough of that I thought. The car seemed to be working okay and so I drove to the school and got there well before class started. I visited with a couple of the ladies and was amazed at the attachment some of them felt toward our instructor.

When he finally arrived and started the class I studied him. He really wasn't that bad looking, and his butt was tight and slim. He carried himself well and was obviously sensitive and intelligent. My mind was carried away wondering what he'd really be like when he was aroused and wondering if I could arouse him. But, class was here and tonight we would discuss addictions to things like drugs, alcohol, sex and gambling. I tried my best to keep my mind on it all, but after the ladies comments before the class I found my mind constantly returning to him.

The longer I looked, the more fascinated I became. His body was more lithe than I'd thought. He was very smart. He had a way of talking to people and making you feel that he was talking to you. I blushed when I realized that I was studying a part of him below the waist and so I looked away.

When class was over I gathered my stuff and walked out with a couple of the ladies. Their cars were close and I'd parked further in case I needed a push or something to get the car started. They drove away as I got in and turned the key. The engine growled and then the growling stopped. Nothing would make it start again. I was terrified and miles from home and no way to get there. My boyfriend would really hit me now.

I got out of the car and tried to open the hood. There was only a black pickup truck parked in the lot and suddenly most of the lights went out in the lot. I could barely see and there was no phone. I started to walk back to the building to see if whoever was in the truck could help me. As I walked up to the door to knock, it opened and he was coming out.

He asked if something was wrong and I told him. He walked out to the car with me and tried it himself. Then, he asked if I had an automobile club card and I had to say no. He sat for a minute and then got out and opened the truck and took out a cell phone. He made a call and then escorted me back to the classroom.

I asked him who he'd called and he said it was just a friend. He asked if I could afford a new battery or alternator for the car. I had five dollars and no credit card. Again I had to say no and I looked at the floor. He opened the door, turned on the lights and escorted me back to the table in front of the room.

I sat where he pointed and he took the only other chair. It was next to mine and he said that his friend could help because he was a mechanic. I started to cry and he asked what was wrong. I told him again that I couldn't afford it and I was going to be in trouble when I got home.

He asked what I meant and I told him between sobs. He asked if that was why I was in his class. I said yes that I was trying to help myself, but everything went wrong all the time. He actually smiled and reached out a knuckle and used it to wipe my tears. Then he brought it to his lips and tasted it. He said that it didn't taste like someone who couldn't handle a situation, and I laughed but it didn't last.

Now he started asking a lot of questions and I heard myself answering. After a few minutes I was starting to feel like I was in counseling and enjoying it. My tears went away and I opened up. I told him about my husband and the kids and the drunk I was living with.

Nearly through one question I heard a noise and looked up. A man came in the door and he stood up and said hello to the guy. Then he excused himself and went to talk quietly. After a few minutes he came back and asked for my car keys. I tried to ask why but he just took them, walked back and gave them to the guy.

When he got back and sat down I asked him again why he gave the guy my keys. He said that the guy needed them to check out the car and that it might be an hour before he was through.

We talked more and I was really starting to like him. Forty five minutes later the guy opened the door again and he got up and walked over to meet again. My eyes followed his walk. He did have that confident walk I'd noticed earlier and I enjoyed the swing of his hips... a lot.

He came back and held out his hand with the keys and told me it was fixed. I smiled and asked how much I owed the guy as he took my arm and escorted me out again. As he turned to switch off the room lights and lock the door I noticed the tow truck pulling away.

I panicked because I knew that tow trucks were expensive. I turned and told him that I couldn't afford a tow truck, but he just smiled and said there was no charge. Puzzled I turned back to the car and he escorted me again back to where our vehicles were. I turned as we got to the car and asked him if he thought the car would work. He jokingly replied that his brother was the best mechanic in the city and even had his own racing car team.

My mouth opened and I asked if that was his brother and he smiled and said yes. As I thought back I could remember a resemblance and so I told him what a handsome guy his brother was. Again he smiled and said yes that his wife and all four of his kids thought so, too.

I was so grateful and insisted that I needed a bill but he said that it was all taken care of. I told him that I couldn't let him do that and then he asked if I could guess what he made every year. How could I? I didn't even know what he did.

He smiled again and my heart melted. He replied that he was a traveling lecturer and that he gave the same classes to rich ladies and each lady paid him two hundred dollars each week to teach them. He said that he taught five classes in the daytime each week and each class averaged about forty women. I couldn't do that without a pencil and paper and even then I wasn't sure I could do it.

He said that he taught pro bono, whatever that meant, at our school each week and deducted his time as donated services on his taxes. Then that smile again as he said that my attending his classes was saving him money.

I wasn't sure that I believed him but he assured me that it was all true. He said that he even sponsored his brother's racing team. I was suddenly aware that he would be late getting home and apologized. He just said that there was no one home to worry about him and that he was single. I relaxed.

I reached out to shake his hand and tell him that I was going to pay him back. He took my hand and suddenly he bent and kissed me. My body didn't resist the urge to kiss him back. When we parted I started to feel ashamed, but he smiled and said thank you. When I started to talk, he kissed me again.

It was only minutes and I was up against the car and his body was pressing into mine. I started to say that I wouldn't pay him that way, but I couldn't get the words out as I felt his thigh pressing against the dress and between my legs. He wasn't deliberately doing it but I was wishing that he would.

I felt my stomach and then my body tighten and my breasts were tingling. I felt a dampness begin as a familiar sensation traveled from my breasts down my stomach and between my legs. I kissed back and his arms were around me holding me tight.

I moaned and his hand traveled to my skirt and then under it and I felt the warmth of his hand and then his fingers. A pressure on my breast burned into me and I was alive with him. He pushed aside my panties and his entire hand was stroking me. His finger spread my lips and I felt delicious as he entered.

He massaged me and my nipples were hardening as he found my clitoris and touched it. I was out of breath as he pulled his face away and smiled softly at me. I could say nothing as he kneeled on the asphalt and brought his face to me. My skirt was covering him and I reached down to pull it up so that I could see him.

In all my life I'd never had a man kiss me there and touch me that way with his tongue. I started to say something and I was suddenly trembling and having trouble catching my breath. I lowered my hands to his head and felt his hair between my fingers as I clenched it and pulled him closer.

I'm not sure exactly what happened over the next few minutes because I only remember the exquisite feeling of continuing climax. I could do nothing but hold on and shake and enjoy. This was the most wonderful thing that had ever happened to me and I wanted more... a lot more. I felt him pull away and stand up. I was still shaking and unable to move as he walked closer and took my hand and placed it on his hardness.

My fingers came alive and he felt so strong and so big. His cock was the best thing I'd ever touched and my hands started fumbling at his waist as I tried to bring it out. He sighed and helped me and soon I was holding him. I felt him tighten and it surged in my hand. I put both hands on him and wanted to scream at the feeling of his warmth and my desire.

I explored and teased and found his head. It was large and so soft under that stiffness. I pushed him away and wanted to return to him the way he did to me. I'd only tasted a few men and only briefly. But when my lips touched him and he surged I was committed. I closed my mouth around him and felt him lunge and then retract. He paused and my tongue was on his head and I was aware of him moaning.

For the first time ever I wanted to suck a man... his cock. I didn't know exactly what to do, but between us I learned quickly. He was alive in my hands and in my mouth and I climaxed from the experience again. I wanted him to cum and I wanted to taste it. I felt a little sweetness at his head and my tongue savored it.

He stopped me and pulled me up. I wanted to stay just where I was and pleasure him the way he had me, but he insisted. When I was on my feet, he kissed me again and picked me up and put me on the fender of the car. My hand was still around him and he used it to guide me as he entered. I felt the glory as he spread and widened my lips.

I felt the pleasure as he teased me and then slowly entered. I'd never felt a man like this before. He was large, but pleasant and I wanted him. I felt him tease until we were lubricated and his fingers were at my clitoris again as he pushed deeper and deeper. I felt every inch of him as I widened under the pressure of his head sliding in.

I felt his cock throbbing in me and his cock jump again and again as he tightened himself. His hands opened my dress and then found my breasts. One returned to my clitoris and he kissed me. I arched to greet him and take him in deeper. I wanted as much of this as I could get. I never wanted it to end.

Our hips met again and again in savage attacks. They ground and rotated and I felt him sliding in and then out. My pussy widened and then relaxed again and again. I felt his head in a spot that I didn't know I had and he worked on it. I felt his fingers again and he was doing something to me and my body was in ecstasy. My mind lost interest in everything except him and what we were doing.

I don't know how long we worked, but I climaxed again and again from his fingers. I felt something different and started to pull away, but his arms wouldn't let me. I was afraid that I was going to ruin everything. The pressure was there and I had to go.