- Loving Wives
- February Sucks in 750 Words
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Click hereSomeone had to do it. Someone had to write a version of Feb Sucks into this 750-word challenge, so I thought why not me? Thanks to George Anderson for his permission.
If you haven't read his original, you should - //rosa-blanca.ru/desixxxphoto/s/february-sucks
*****
It was cold as fuck. You know what many have said before me... "February sucks."
We missed Valentines's Day because of the weather but went out two weeks later. Four couples all celebrating the love of their partners. Drinking and dancing, Linda, my lovely wife in her blue dress, committed all dances to me.
Then that asshole, Marc LaValliere, a local pro-football hero, walked in. Everyone noticed. Minutes later he walked to our table and asked Linda to dance. She dropped my hand without any thought and was off to the floor with him. WTF?
They danced, closely, slowly. I was angry, but Dee from our table urged me not to intervene.
Then the dances were over. Linda came back to our table. She and Dee headed to the bathroom. Dee came back but not Linda.
"Where is she, Dee?"
"Jim, she is spending the night with Marc."
"She left me?"
"Listen, she didn't leave you. She loves you, but she had to do this for herself. She will come home to you tomorrow."
I looked over at my friends. They all nodded their heads then looked down. I ran out the door, but they had already left. I went back to the table.
"My marriage is over."
"Jim, it's one night. You love Linda. Everything will be back to normal tomorrow," Dee said. "Any woman would have left. He's Marc LaValliere."
My former friends nodded again and agreed.
"We all have said previously, it's one and done. I'm divorcing her," I shouted.
"Jim, think of your children."
I went home and eventually slept.
Around noon, "Jim, I'm home," sounding normal, like she hadn't ripped my heart out.
I looked at her, stunned, then said, "Who are you?"
"It's still the same me," Linda said.
"Yeah, I guess I don't really know you. Was it everything you thought it would be?"
"Jim, I could tell you everything, but I don't want to hurt you."
"A little late for that, huh?"
"Jim, I can fix this, I--."
I picked up her favorite vase, a wedding gift from her parents, and smashed it to the floor.
"Fix that if you can. It's the same as my heart. Fix that and you can fix us."
She was shocked, tears rolling from her eyes.
"Oh, god Jim, please. It didn't mean anything. It was only sex."
"Yeah, right."
"Jim, you mean everything to me. Marc means nothing. I had a great time but it's over now."
"Nothing to you, to me it was everything. What about Emma and Tommy? How are you going to explain it to them when I'm gone."
Linda wrote a letter explaining herself. She had left with him without thinking. Marc was wonderful in bed but, if he asked to marry her, she wouldn't. She loved me.
It sounded like bullshit. Now I needed to decide. Could I stay with her?
We talked that night.
"What if I left with some woman?"
"Jim, it was Marc LaValliere."
"So you chose him over me?"
"I don't know why I left with him, Jim, but I choose us," Linda was sobbing.
"So, NOW you want both?"
"It's not like that. I haven't changed. I want you."
"Maybe you haven't changed but I have. I'm not the same gullible Jim anymore."
"Don't say that, Jim. We can get it back."
"I don't think so, Linda. Go back to him. I don't want you anymore."
Linda wailed and slumped to the floor.
Now, I really needed to make a decision. Did I want to try to make it work?
I met with our lawyer, LW. He was wise beyond his years.
"Has she apologized? She hasn't because she's not sorry she did it. She thinks men like Marc deserve more than we mortals, and women should bow to their wishes.
At home that evening I told her, "I saw LW last night." Linda knew what that meant.
"Please Jim, no. You are the strong one. You have to find a way we can get past this."
She was right. I was the strong one, and I had to do what I knew was right. My marriage was over. I buried it. I did my best to shelter the kids. We split but lived close. My love for her was dead but life would go on.
Early the next season, Marc had a career-ending injury. Linda never remarried and lived alone.
Three years later I met Kelsy and remarried. Everyone isn't as thoughtless as Linda.
- COMMENTS
Story got to the point in one page. It takes most authors four or five pages to reach the same correct conclusion.
I don't think this story can be told in this format. You did a decent job but its impossible to do a FS version in such a brief format. Because of that this story doesn't work. It's not a bad story just the wrong format for it. BardnotBard
It is impossible to shorten this story.
You got in the important parts but the rest was very thin and the depth of the feelings is missing.
Lol, Cliff Notes for Feb Sucks. Sooner or later it will be the subject of a scholarly paper or a thesis.
Good job considering the constraints of the format.
The Martian Slut Ray seems to hit mostly In February. Well written for 750 words. Once and done. 5 stars
10 Stars for Great Writing a Great Story, Great way to deal with a cheating ass slut wife. Thks, Buster2U
GAs story is simply too long to do in 750 words and justice to it cannot be done. You just proved that...2 stars...JZK..
"I haven't changed." - So many stories, not just FS use this line, but it's 100% the WRONG thing to say! You WANT them to change, otherwise they're the same person that could do that to you.
It's fine. The truth is life FEELS deeper and more elaborate than the cliff notes. But it's not. This short version summed up all the versions of this story. Bottom line was Linda cheated because she felt entitled. She only cared about her husband AFTER the fact. She was only SORRY after it affected her personally, and never did feel remorse towards Jim until then. And people aren't special. We number in the billions. Linda isn't special. Marc isn't special. Jim's pain ins't special. But that's a good thing! He can dump the entitled harlot and move on with his life. When people cheat on you, don't become the sad victim. Don't give someone that kinda power, a someone that cares so little about you to begin with. They are replaceable.
You can’t summarize February Sucks in 750 words without it reading like Cliff Notes. Three stars ⭐️ for trying.
Bravo! You did in 750 words what George Anderson couldn't do in multiple tortuous pages: you gave the bitch what she deserved, the perfect ending. 5 stars.
I wish this was the way GA would write stories, but that is impossible since GA male mc are always wimpy cucks that cannot communicate, cannot think or act, and fail to make meaningful decisions. She really hates men.
Don’t know how you did it, but you managed to fit in the only logical way this mess could have ended in a 750 word flash story. Well done!
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5 *****
5 stars and at least this one ended the way all the rest of them should have DIVORCE
NO second chance, No RAAC, ONCE&DONE
Look, that's just bs. A woman like Linda who is beautiful enough to attract a man like Marc would have no problem with men lined up at her door after her divorce. She is an entitled narcissist with superior beauty and would have her choice of desperate men and the number of desperate wimpering adolescent men out there is legion... she won't ever be without male company if she so desires... that's just a divorced man's delusional fantasy that his unfaithful wife will suffer such distress that she will forever have a lack of male company because of her hurtful cheating on him... that's just fantasy.
Despite, or perhaps because of, it's brevity this is one of the better versions.
☆☆☆☆☆ For getting the gist of the entire story into 750 words.
To the idiot below who thinks this is too short, this is an example of exactly what would happen IRL. The marriage with the slut would be over. No hand-wringing; just over. Very few words are necessary to describe the result. BTW:Nice job, Intuituve, of fitting it all into 750 words.
"Jim, I could tell you everything, but I don't want to hurt you." - Not "telling" him tells him everything.
When I caught her walking in the door, she'd get no further. I would probably, either send her back to asshole, or she'd be beaten and buried in the swamp or quicksand... Nothing but a slut, breathing air a good person could breathe. Better yet, do asshole too and put the together...
Nice try, but it’s not possible to write February Sucks in 750 words. Reading this is like reading Cliff Notes. Three stars ⭐️ for this one.
One of the better endings.......only thing missing is crushing assholes knees as a gone away present!
This worked because all readers already know all the details of the original and various sequels…so doing such a choppy short rendition was more than feasible.
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Great job. 4 ****
Liked it a lot. To the point, one and done with no waffling on Jim’s part. He saw right away that Linda was sorry he felt bad, sorry it would put a strain on the marriage, but never sorry she did it!! She never remarried and Jim found someone better — perfect outcome!
Good job, and better than the original because hubby dumps the cheating skank in your version. Can you try boiling War & Peace down to 750 words next? I’ve always fancied reading W&P but there are too many words.
She said that she had a great time and now she got a not so great divorce.
Too bad a woman, maybe his sister, wouldn't have beaten her when she walked in the door. Not a bad beating, just until she peed laying on the floor. Then, she'd realize what she did, didn't pass the faithful wife test!
The only reasonable answer to the whole February situation. L.W in this story is right, if vows don't mean anything the marriage doesn't mean anything
… a steaming pile of crap is a moron.
Here’s a three word story that all the trolls will love, called “You Suck”. Ready?
***
“Fuck you, bitch!!!”
***
There. Nailed it.
Nice
Straight and to the point. Cunt cheated, he divorced her. No ifs, ands or butts. Fuck her.
Five Stars
The only real message. Was she sorry? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice it is my fault so shame on me. It makes marriage a one way street.
I've read several versions and this is without a doubt the laziest with its awkward attempt at satire.
1 is the lowest score for a good reason - this just another remake of one of the worst stories here.
This is a FANTASY FICTION story - NOT a Loving wives.
Repeats or remakes of the same crap still stinks no matter how you try to wrap it.
1 for this version.
It does not matter how many different ways you try to make this story any better - it is a waste of time.
The original story was bullshit right from the git go and nothing can fix that horrible idea.
I love the brevity. Thanks for taking the challenge to put the conclusion into 750 words.
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Hate the absence of any "soul" in this version. This reads like minutes from a damned board meeting.
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To those readers who whine about "yet another FS story" - who forced YOU to read "yet another FS story?" As Pappy used to say, "Vote with your feet, son."
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Keep 'em comin'!
Writers and other fans of G.A.'s February Sucks: who are these readers that presume to squash what the rest of us are enjoying?
This author was very clear what his story was about - so why do they read (maybe they read it), then trash all over it, in an attempt to chase off any other stories that would follow suit?
For all of those of you that have had enough of Feb. Sucks - fine - you're entitled to read what you want, but so are the rest of us. You shouldn't even be reading this comment... why are you here?
What is it with people thinking that they have some God given right to tell everybody else what to do?
If there is an author out there who wants to take a run at this hugely popular subject: Go for it. Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!
Loved the line ‘my former friends’ capturing his developing mindset and strength
Spend the extra words telling us why/how she could suddenly kill her marriage.
She did say she didn't know why, but there has to be some sequence of events she experienced that let her make her disastrous decisions.
(Accept the dance request, agree to go off with Mark, totally ignore what Jim would do when she turned on him and her marriage, tell Dee to cover her escape, have the group argue against Jim).
Stop polluting Lit with this garbage, enough of this wannabe story, you're all just basically repeating it, word for word, with maybe a few differences. 1*
Of all of the versions of Feb Sucks, this one was the worst because of the 750 word brevity. Even Readers Digest would have treated this better. Let's all decide to STOP with the Feb Sucks story line. The race horse died just after leaving the starting gate and dragging it over the finish behind the tractor doesn't make a winner!!!!
Read it, but wish I hadn't. It wasn't bad. It is this story. About 2 dozens versions too many of them.
1. Didn't repeat half if the original story, and 2. Loved the vase scene. So true and easy to understand. Didn't care for the she never dated part as live goes on. And she will take her regrets to the grave.
750 words for this story is not enough. Thank you.
"Cliff's Notes"
Now that was an original comment.
The next "author" that writes a follow-up to this bullshit story has to suck Marc LaValliere's dick in Times Square at noon. Let's see if that stops this follow-up bullshit.
Its just a typical 750 word story no emotion no thought development just get'er done. Not the authors fault though.
Congrats. You compressed it. That’s interesting, but I wouldn’t read it again.
It's like a multi-car pileup on I-95; you know its horrible, and probably many people were killed ,or injured. But you can't look away. The same with this story. It and the15 or so variations, including the original. THEY ALL SUCK. EVERY SONGLE ONE!!!!! I don't want to, or will not read another one. The best was the one were the three guys just out of the military beat the shit of the asshole. And that one sucks because he lived. Where I was raised, the wife would not be allowed to do what we did. End of story. They Bear is not the least bit amused. If I could, in would be -20 stars. They should have a rating for least favorite story. PLEASE STOP !!!!!!!!
The BEAR
this fails like all others (even the original) except one version: His friends attitude supporting the cheating bitch, and being happy their wives support her too. No real men and real friends would accept that!
I suppose that one could summarize the Iliad in 750 words, but who would want to read it?
Sorry but this was just as pointless as every other one of these. Well one was decent but generally this whole follow the leader thing on this story just needs to stop.
So what women would do that knowing it would end her marriage with two children. You have to be a person without a full deck or a total moron. Story never works. I can see a affair or private meeting but going and doing it in front of friends and your husband. Is blush it any women would know that would end there marriage.
The only version of this overrated tale that can be called a story is "February Really, Really Sucks" by PKenny5860. It has a proper storyline, believeable characters and a full and understandable conclusion. The original was a total mess.... A good outline, I concede, but the sad thing was a waste of time to read. I liked 'Saddletramp's' version too but I like everything Saddletramp writes. Reading This was a waste of my time but this story is like an itch you have to scratch or more appropriately like a scab you have to pick at! PLEASE EVERYONE QUIT MESSING WITH THIS WORTHLESS ATTEMPT AT A STORY! I gave it One Star (more than it will ever be worth!)
Uh no - didn't work. Nice try, so I gave it 3* for an otherwise 2* at best tale.
The rewrites have been over done, but at least this one is short and to the point. I don't think any one of the great writers here will benefit redoing this story again. Bury it, please!
You distilled it down efficiently and successfully.
That said...it worked only because we all know this story numbingly well 😎. Had it been a first told standalone tale it would have been lame.
But as a Cliff Notes version after dozens of rewrites and/or sequels....nice job!
4****
I've enjoyed the original and most of the stories it spawned.
This one is particularly weak on reaction, emotion, blood and tears.
Your style portends future success, however, and I encourage you to keep going.
You can't write a character who does what Linda does and expect even a half way normal man to stay. Better than the original because it lacks GA's inconsistent character development, annoying cliches, and ridiculous characters such as Ellen and LW (the LW here is a non-entity lawyer, unlike GA's character.)
None of that, "I still love her" crap. He did what he had to do. Too bad Marc got injured on the field. He was paid for that whole year and got the team insurance. The next injury should be more permanent. Good job.
This one was fast and all the frilly filler is not present. Only thing missing was revenge on the bitch Dee and planting the seed of acceptance doubt in each of his EX-friend couples husbands. Also missed the extended family condemnation of Linda's behavior. For 750 it was a good job. glad to see he shit-canned her keeping his man-card.
/
5* for effort.... Hooyah, Salute.
...than many of the other re-writes. IJ accurately followed the story line of GAs original-in an abbreviated fashion-until the story’s ending. The ending is justified for the most part, other than splitting a previously loving, intact, and functional family with young children. Nicely done, IJ! Four stars ⭐️ for this one.
An impressive short tale! To bad a few others couldn't follow you example. You left the emotions but cut the bullshit. Thank you for one of my top two versions out of what - thirty? 5 stars!
It's too much subject matter for just 750 words, but a good effort. I liked the vase - nice touch!
The break in personality is the unavoidable problem with this entire series. A normal decent person doesn't rob a liquor store one day, doesn't take a baseball bat to the puppy who peed on the floor, doesn't become some celebrities slut because she has the sudden opportunity.
But given the scenario the series introduces, this short version is as clean and realistic as any that I have read. The crux of the problem is that the whore STILL revels in the memory of her betrayal. No acknowledgement that she demonstrated a failure in character, ethics, morals. Would you trust a person who is really really sorry the puppy is dead, but just loved the sound of the puppy's head cracking, or watching him twitch in his death throes? But she promises she'll never treat another puppy like that again, promise.
Divorce is a stupid way to punish someone you still love, but the only way to escape a toxic relationship. Linda has become mentally and morally dysfunctional, and is now a danger to her ex husband's and her children's well being. How, why, what can be done to recover, are all interesting and need to be addressed, by her therapist.
Yelling at your spouse in a fit of anger is a mistake. Striking your spouse with your fist or a dangerous object is a sign of mental illness. So is walking away with a stranger to spend the night fucking, then expecting to come home with no consequences.
You told the story succinctly and honestly, with the logical reactions and outcomes. Better than most, much better than some.
Thanks for the effort.
IMHO as well as can be expected in 750 words. I still like JPB's story on this best.
I take the 750 word stories to be like the "short" stories that authors like Hemingway, Ambrose Bierce, etc would write. To get a gist of what I'm saying, read "The Short, Happy Life of Francis Macomber" and/or "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge". So much imagery and emotion pack in with so few words. Some authors here are able to do that in 750 words. To me, this was a retelling and didn't have the impact that the other stories did. And, maybe I'm missing your point. If the point was that it could be done in 750 words or less, you met the mark.
Will you authors PLEASE let this story die a quiet death?