by mrfluffer
Interesting storyline with great potential and you clearly have the ability to write - did you find an editor yet?
I have to leave you a comment on a brilliant storyline and well written piece. I have enjoyed reading and only upset that I have not come to this a little later when more of it is written for me to enjoy. The build up is great and the backstory is not one i have seen before which is nice.
Great stuff and I look forward to the next chapter.
This was great, I read part one just prior to this episode. It’s a unique storyline, the peeing part was pretty kinky and you can keep it as far as I’m concerned, just don’t overdo it. He’s got to keep the mom too, but what about a younger third woman into the mix that he can breed with? Could be incestuous (I believe you mentioned a sister), or not, and add to the kinkiness. I’m thinking the location might have to move to Vegas, but that’s your call. Maybe he stays in Chicago if that’s where his inherited clients are? I’m looking forward to more soon!
Anxiously awaiting the next chapter, in your own time, of course. Keep up the good work.
Jack Baker's affair in Las Vegas must have been planned by his uncle before his death, in order to prepare for inheriting his menstruation. Otherwise, a small driver would not be able to know the secrets of the company's top management, and he would not have the right to know the secrets of the company's top management, unless he had the background of slave owners.
Great story, please keep it going, not just a couple of chapters but lots of them. Just let your imagination go in this world you are creating. You can mix drama with sex, crime with sex, spying with sex. Read Latestageinfernalism’s story about the Von Heer family, or Scipioparkins story Inheritance. You have a myriad of choices for multi plots, hells sake, you can do them all in a long story
Good luck l look forward to your next chapters, this scores 5/5
Thank you all for your feedback. As the so g goes ; Can't please everyone, so you may as well just please yourself.
I had Editor help from a couple of people. Could use more. ...
Nicely done and am looking forward to reading the next installments as well . Not everything is for everyone but most in the life understand that variety is the answer. Though piss is not my cup of tea overall there are some that really enjoy it. Well done.
Are you sure this is only your second story, it is perfect.
Keep having the slave drink pee, maybe even her sister's.
A thoroughly entertaining story so far. I’m projecting that with Auntie in LLas Vegas that Mom resigns up for contract to Jake. Unless I’m losing it ,you said thatJake had a brother and sister. If Mpm is/was submissive the daughter may join yhe group. Good luck with the story
I gave this a 1 star rating. The premise to so stupid, this story reminds me of some young teen boys that decide to write a story and they take turns adding dumber and dumber ideas trying out do each other. Then they pile it all together and call it done. I am sure that if this site allowed writing about sex with minors it would be in here as well.
All those rosa-blanca.ru, and not fucking one of them to warn about the piss drinking?
If it's your thing to fuck a toy....
The idea is not novel, but, imo, poorly executed. There's no fun, no joy, no love involved. Resulting in a dull, monotonous situation.