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All Comments on 'In Love with My Best Friend's Mom'

by ilovematurewomen

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  • 7 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Get Help!

You know, this wasn't really a bad story. But, holy crap, you really need the help of an editor. Hell, at times it didn't even seem to be in English.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
Paragraphs

A good story marred by having paragraphs of absurd lengths that make it hard to read.

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
HELP is in order

Your writing style needs the help of a good editor. The story has a seemingly good plot but the paragraph structure needs major work.

AlwaystabooAlwaystabooover 6 years ago
Beautiful story of love

All teenagers should experience such uninhibited sex.

erebustitan43erebustitan43over 5 years ago
good story........

that being said, the paragraphs need to be shortened, the action needs to be separated from the dialog and the Dialog need to be in quotes so the reads know what you trying to establish. the descriptions of the action need more descriptive wording, not just "ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh yyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeesssssssss"

we want to know who is saying that and why they are saying it.

chytownchytownabout 5 years ago
Thanks***

For the read.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago
Mrs Towers

Mrs Towers appeared in every sentence or so it seemed. Try using she or my friends mother to describe her.

Learn when to use where and were. Your grammar is awful.

Anonymous
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