Loving Torture - The Session

At other random times she would order me to the couch, sit next to me, and gently take my cock into her mouth, causing an immediate erection, and a rapid march towards orgasm - of course stopping just before the big event.

This went on for 30 days, never missing a day, never missing a session.

- - If I hadn't long ago made a commitment to Sara that I would never masturbate, I would most definitely have grabbed my throbbing cock and taken myself over the edge in the shower or after she had fallen asleep. But I didn't. I couldn't. And I never would.

When we first started our T&D journey (which is a story for another time), Sara had said she didn't want to have to deal with the trouble of a cock cage and key, and always worrying that I might figure out a way to make myself cum anyway (which some men do). She wanted me to endure the teasing and denial willingly, out of my love for her, and not because of some physical barrier keeping me from masturbating.

So, we made a contract, binding us both to certain promises, actions, and responsibilities in our DOM/sub relationship. We put it in writing, signed it, and consummated it in a special ceremony (which, again, is a story for another time) which marked the beginning of a new, and exciting life together.

At the very top of the contract is my number one commitment: "Under penalty of forever ending our DOM/sub relationship, there is to be absolutely, categorically, NO MASTURBATION, under any circumstances or conditions, unless permission is specifically granted by Sara".

The contract has been in place for 6 years now, and permission has never been granted. I am no longer hopeful.

Masturbating wouldn't end our marriage, but it would fundamentally change our relationship. For her, it would be like I had cheated on her, and I would feel the same. I would be ashamed and remorseful, but all the remorse in the world wouldn't do any good. The trust would be broken, the damage would be done. In the end, that would be unbearable. Too big of a price to pay.

But, even without the threat of the contract, I could never disappoint her by breaking my promise. The consequence of knowing how sad and broken hearted she would be, knowing that I broke her trust, would never be worth the reward of cumming. She wouldn't be angry or vengeful, but instead, would be sad and disappointed, which would be so much worse.

Since we first made our agreement, I have on many occasions, suffered through massive blue balls and intense horniness that nearly drove me crazy, without breaking the rules and masturbating. But these past four weeks have been at another level entirely, testing my resolve like no other time.

She has never made me go this long before while simultaneously teasing me with such intensity. It has been almost too much to bear. I almost broke my promise, multiple times. She had never been that lovingly cruel with her teasing and denial. I had made it through to that fateful Saturday night, but just Barely.

Leading up to that point there had been thirty days of at least three teasing and denial sessions a day, meaning that, since my last orgasm, I had to endure 90 intense teasing sessions, plus the many random teases in between.

Horny is a woefully inadequate word to describe what my mind and body were experiencing. Desperation is closer.

Chapter 4

- - My cockhead, a swollen, purple bulb of raw nerve endings, is helplessly at her mercy. As she plays, she forces my body into a straining, quivering mass of sexual need and frustration.

Her control over me, and the situation, is complete as she softly slides her well lubricated hand over my hypersensitized cockhead. My hips involuntarily attempt to thrust, desperately trying to increase the friction and sensations necessary to go over the edge, but the cuffs, leather straps, and pillows with which she has me immobilized, do their job. I can't move a fraction of an inch. I am hopelessly imprisoned. My struggles useless and exhausting.

The pressure in my balls and the intensity of my need to cum are beyond unbearable. But still... she pushes me further. An expert at denial torture.

She likes being the dominant one in our sex life. She always has. She likes the feeling of power she gets from having absolute and complete control over me through my cock and balls.

I said she LIKES being the dominant one, but that isn't exactly true. She NEEDS to be the dominant one, and the teasing & denial is touching deep, emotional parts of her, perfectly fulfilling that need.

As she plays, she begins to get turned on herself. Being in control to this extent and having the power to put me in such an intense state of frustration, with me being powerless to stop her, is making her wet.

She decides that it's her turn for some pleasure.

- - She moves from her place next to me and places a few pillows under my head raising it off the mattress. Straddling me, she positions herself facing my feet so that her wonderful, perfectly smooth, wet pussy is suspended just over my face.

As I gaze up, I desperately anticipate that first wonderful taste.

Slowly lowering herself to my eager, waiting mouth, she begins softly and slowly sliding her pussy over my face, soaking my chin, mouth, and nose with her now freely flowing juices. I am in heaven.

I want her to lose control. I want her to fuck my face with her pussy, to forget that I am even there and focus entirely on her own pleasure, using my face as her living sex toy, intent on getting herself off. I am in such a place of physical and emotional need, that as she lowers herself to me, I want to ravenously attack this most intimate part of her, but I know she likes it soft and slow at the beginning, so I begin gently.

She likes to be teased, but not denied. She likes a slow steady buildup, with me slightly backing off periodically to allow hour arousal to ebb ever so slightly, before continuing the slow climb towards climax. "Two steps forward and one step back", she likes to say. Like me, the longer I can make her last, the more powerfully she cums.

My helplessly prone body makes my mouth the only option for pleasing her and I lovingly try to give her pleasure with my sucking mouth and probing tongue. I love eating her pussy. I love her smell, her taste, and the feel of her most intimate flesh on my lips.

The level of sexual and emotional tension and frustration from the weeks of teasing and denial, cause me to become desperate to please her and give her what she needs. I love making Her feel good and serving Her. Just as being in control and in a dominant position fulfills and completes her, being controlled and in a submissive position fulfills and completes me - in the deepest core of my being.

This drive inside of me is what fuels my actions.

Making my tongue as hard as possible, I passionately fuck her wonderful hole. I separate her beautiful pink lips with my tongue, pushing inside as deeply as I can, sliding it in and out of her, using it like a small cock to stimulate all the sensitive nerve endings just inside the smooth walls of her pussy.

I wish I had a 6-inch tongue so that I could penetrate her deeper and taste her more fully, giving us both more pleasure, but I have to make do with I have.

She tilts her hips back, letting me know it's time, and giving me access to her most sensitive spot.

Not having the use of my hands, I use my lips to push back the soft folds of skin surrounding her tender, sensitive clit. My wet, slippery tongue finds the head of her miniature cock. I very gently suck her clit into my mouth, feeling the small nub, hard between my lips, with its own small erection. I know the most sensitive places on my cockhead and in my mind, I map those places to her miniature cockhead, and I begin loving, oral stimulation. I swirl and lick and push and softly suck, varying pressure and speed and suction knowing all her most sensitive spots instinctively.

She begins to move her hips to my rhythm, getting lost in the wonderful sensations, even as I begin to drift off into a place that is completely lost in her.

Chapter 5

- - It's sometimes hard to know the complex psychological reasons for why we are the way we are, sexually. With the thousands and thousands of events we experience over our lifetimes, it's sometimes difficult to pinpoint the ones that have contributed to creating the needs that drive our sexual activities later in life. This is especially true of those of us who have kinks.

I have thought back over my life many times trying to figure out why I have the need to be controlled and used during sex by a powerful woman. I still haven't figured it out. All I know is in that moment when I was tied down helpless on our bed, while she used my face as her personal fuck-toy, was almost enough to make me cum with no cock stimulation at all. I wanted her to use me - to use me for her pleasure. It fulfilled a deep need inside me.

In contrast, Sara is very aware of the primary event in her life that contributed to her sexual needs. She experienced a situation where she was out of control during sex. She was almost date raped in college by a drunk football player. She fought hard while attempting to stop him, his severe drunkenness an ally in her efforts. She was finally able to escape by grabbing his balls and squeezing - hard.

He immediately lost his erection, grabbed his aching balls, and rolled off her, allowing her to get away.

Understandably, it was traumatizing for her, but at the same time, it was empowering.

During the fight or flight response, there is a cocktail of powerful hormones that bathe our brains and bodies. Hormones such as norepinephrine, epinephrine, estrogen, testosterone, cortisol, dopamine, serotonin, and osteocalcin are all released, bombarding us with mind and body altering chemicals.

This bombardment of chemicals changed Sara forever.

I always joke and tell her that she's like Bruce Banner becoming the Hulk after being bombarded with gamma rays. He's mild-mannered Bruce Banner in his normal life, and then becomes an unstoppable terror when he transforms. There are easy parallels to be drawn there.

Immediately after the experience, she found her girlfriends and with both fear and excitement, poured out the story in an animated tirade, feeling both scared, and powerful!

In the end, powerful won out.

Through that experience she learned, in a very visceral way, that men have a weakness, and that weakness gives her power as a woman. She learned that men can be controlled through their cocks and balls by inflicting either pain or pleasure, and inflicting both at different times, is the most effective of all.

She always knew intellectually about this weakness in men (as all women do) but having firsthand experience with using that power to protect herself, caused her to become obsessed with it.

Each time she steps into that place of absolute control through my genitals, she once again experiences the chemical rush, and subsequent high she got that night she saved herself by bringing a man, who was many times her size and strength, into submission through his balls.

She now demands complete control when it comes to sex. She doesn't just demand it, she takes it! That was the most common reason why her previous relationships failed. She would suppress the need for as long as she could, trying to be the dutiful, submissive girlfriend, but eventually, usually in the throes of passion, it always came out, freaking her partners out.

They wouldn't walk to the door, they ran.

Sara has a lot of funny stories from those days. Some guys were gone after just a few sexual encounters. Others, because Sara is beautiful, sexy, a great lover, and has a great personality, tried to hang in there with her, despite her unusual sexual appetites.

Ultimately, they all ended badly as she pushed for more and more control in the bedroom. For many guys, they just didn't like a pushy woman. For others, she was scary!

Then, she found me.

Little by little, just like with the others, she exposed herself, becoming more and more controlling and demanding with each sexual encounter. Over time she started to discover that she could fully express herself without holding back, and it would never drive me away. In fact, the more power she took, the more it drew me in.

She now has complete control, and I love her completely. She gets fulfillment and happiness from forcing me to walk the jagged edge between pleasure and pain, deciding which I receive from moment to moment without having to be concerned about my feelings.

Subjecting me to her passions, she is fulfilled and completed. Submitting to her passions, I am fulfilled and completed.

Chapter 6

- - Because my mouth is occupied with eating my wife's perfect pussy, my mind can only think what I want to say. "Fuck my face Sara! Cum on me! Pour your juices, along with your sexual and emotional needs into my mouth and onto my face. Don't hold anything back my love. Don't think about me. I want you to get lost in the forces inside you that drive you towards ecstasy. Slide your pussy over my face and mouth and nose and tongue until you explode in orgasmic release. I need this as much as you do. My emotional being is filled when I give to you, when I pleasure you, when I serve you as a slave serving his mistress. Right now, I am your slave, your submissive. You are my mistress, my dominant, and I love being used by you and serving you".

She gets there quickly. We are both surprised by how fast she arrives at the edge of orgasm. I am so lost in her and her pussy, and in showing her how much I love her through this act, that I am caught off guard by her impending explosion.

In order to provide her with the long, slow, buildup she likes, I move my mouth from her clit back to her vulva, licking softly, sliding my tongue inside, stimulating those nerve endings that feel so wonderful, but won't cause an orgasm. As she slowly backs away from the edge, she sighs deeply, knowing that the pleasure will continue, and the best is yet to cum.

After a short time, she moves her hips so that her clit is once again in my mouth indicating that she is ready for more, and I start again with the slow stimulation of that small sensitive nub.

There are as many nerve endings packed into that tiny erection as there are in the head of my cock making her clit so much more sensitive. I can't imagine the intensity of oral sex for a woman. I wish I could experience it.

After five or six cycles of "two steps forward and one step back", she is once again right on the edge of orgasm, and she doesn't want to wait any longer.

It crosses my mind in that moment that it must be nice to be able to decide when you've had enough teasing, and are ready to cum. I don't know what that's like. But now she's ready, so she will cum.

With force, she grinds her wet, slippery, pussy down on my face trying to get more stimulation and more friction.

As my mouth drives her over the edge by simultaneously licking and sucking her clit, her body tenses in involuntary muscle spasms, her back arching as she cries out in abandoned ecstasy and pleasure.

She is driven up to the tops of the mountain peaks, peak after peak rolling under her as she rides the sensations that are now flooding her body. She then slowly moves down through the lower hills, the powerful feelings echoing in her body as gradually decreasing peaks of pleasure roll through her being.

And then, after a long, intense orgasm, she finally comes back down to earth, on the other side, her body softly twitching in the aftermath of ecstasy, spent, and satisfied.

- - She is now lying on top of me, my head pinned between her legs as I continue to softly lick her beautiful pussy lips. I know she likes to be licked after an orgasm, so I softly lap her swollen, sensitive labia being careful not to touch her oversensitive clit knowing that it might cause her discomfort.

I can feel her warm breath softly passing over my aching balls as her head rests on my hip, her mouth so near my aching member. Through all this, my cock has remained hard and ready.

My genitals throb with each beat of my heart causing my cock to bob up and down as the blood pulses through the constricted blood vessels of my erection and swollen testicles.

She rests, content... I ache, desperate.

She eventually rolls off me, flips over so her head is near mine, and snuggles in close, playfully nuzzling and kissing my neck. With her arm across my chest, she presses her body against mine, the softness of her breasts caressing the sensitive skin of my exposed side.

Still feeling the echoes of her orgasm resonating through her body, she continues to rest peacefully against me, as she slowly catches her breath.

After a time, she finally rouses herself, looks deeply into my eyes and says, "I love you so much. You're an amazing man. I'm so glad you're in my life. Thanks for loving me the way you do, and for being such a fantastic life partner. Now I'm going to show you how much I love you".

She passionately kisses me with an open mouth, her tongue probing inside mine. Tasting and smelling her own juices, she feels the dewy wetness of her intimate lubrication that still moistens my lips and face. After a time of passionate kissing, she slides down a little and softly lays her head on my chest, a satisfied sigh escaping her lips.

Like a magnet is attracted to steel, her small hand slides down my stomach and finds its way to that part that most defines me as a man. She gently wraps her delicate fingers around my balls, squeezes them softly and pulls them away from my body. I moan, feeling again that unbearable need to cum.

She is simultaneously increasing the pressure and gauging how full they are, determining how far along I am. After a time of careful examination, she releases them and once again wraps her soft hand around my pulsing, swollen cockhead, squeezing softly.

My cockhead is so incredibly sensitive from the stimulation it has endured that just this tiny amount of pressure causes an electric jolt of pleasure to shoot through my body. It immediately overloads and short circuits my nervous system. My muscles instantly tense. I can't believe the effect this small amount of stimulation has on me. I can't believe how sensitized the head of my cock has become.

She very softly and slowly slides her hand down from the tip of my still lubricated head to the base of my shaft. Her movements slow and loving, her hand, soft and gentle. She then slides slowly back up to the tip again, adding a slight twisting motion at the top, and then slowly, languidly, moves back down, slipping, sliding, electrifying my nerve endings.

As she continues her soft, slow stroking, her head resting comfortably on my chest, she begins to drift off into some far-off land lost in her own musings and feelings of peace and contentment. Like a schoolgirl lost in a daydream, twirling a lock of hair in her fingers, Sara is lost in the glow of her recent orgasmic release, absentmindedly toying with my cock.

The contrast between our conditions suddenly strikes me. While she is submerged in her own relaxed world of contented relief, my body and mind are in tortured, frustrated panic.

With each soft stroke of her hand the muscles in my groin tense and release in unison with her movements - tensing with each passing of her hand over my head, then releasing slightly as it travels down my shaft, then involuntarily tensing again as it travels back up over my head.

It is exquisite torture.

As she continues her absentminded stroking, she suddenly has me right back up on that ragged edge of tortured pleasure again. But this time, because she is lost in her own quiet meditation, she pushes me further than she intends.