Master! Master! Pt. 16

Finally, I got my email up and opened the video attachment. It showed two news anchors, a man and woman, talking behind a desk about stocks. Without warning, a pair of horns grew out of the man's head. He bolted up and screamed, grabbing his butt as a tail appeared in his pants. He then fell to the floor, I'm guessing because his feet had turned into hooves.

"Let me guess, the Chinese are blaming me and Lorraine for this?" To think that my life had gotten weird enough for me to utter such a statement.

"They originally were, but we talked them down by telling them the results of the distance experiment."

One of the experiments performed at the mansion was a test of me and Lorraine's range. Two officials of the CDC volunteered their dogs for the experiment, a French bulldog and a cockapoo. They started off ten miles from the mansion and slowly drove towards our position while Lorraine and I focused on turning them. The transformation didn't occur until around five and a half miles. The problem was that it only measured our intentional abilities, not when it happened on accident. But on the plus side, I heard the doctors were overjoyed living with their transformed pets.

"Once this gets out, we'll have worldwide panic, especially if it occurs again. People turning into hybrids? It's like the furry Rapture," I said.

"If this continues to escalate, it will completely rewrite the future of human culture. We might just get the X-Men world that Lorraine talked about."

"Perhaps, but there is still the matter of preproduction. Elise is sterile, just like any other hybrid, and it's likely that this guy is now as well. If that remains true, then this won't become hereditary."

"We can only hope. The Chinese are examining him and not giving out any information. However, I have good news. We might have found another test to study you and Lorraine, the only one of its kind."

"What test?"

"We want to examine you in a neutrino detection facility. Japan has offered to let us use theirs in exchange for the credit if we get any results. I've already booked a flight for you and Lorraine. You leave in two days."

"Wait, wait, wait, you want me to babysit that anime freak in JAPAN?!"

--

"I'm finally here! I'm finally here! I'm finally here!"

Lorraine was bouncing around me, more excited than Sonja with a new frisbee. We had just landed at Tokyo International Airport and I was burned out. I had been stuck with this lunatic for more than two damn days in one cramped metal tube after another. I hadn't even gotten to "relieve my stress". I mean, sure, Lorraine would happily do me if I asked, but I just couldn't, not after I had to hose all that semen off her. I was just lucky I hadn't caught any STDs from her. But what really sucked was that we still weren't done traveling. We had to board yet another plane to the Niigata Airport. This day just keeps on getting better!

I tried to focus on my own excitement, having traveled farther from home than ever in my life. The only other country I had ever been to was Canada, and let's face it, that barely counts as international travel. I was actually surprised by how normal it looked. With Lorraine's constant blabbering, I had assumed that the entire country would be one giant anime expo, but the airport seemed culturally sterile for the most part. It did have a neat mall-like design. But man, I had never seen so many Asian people before! It was awesome! Like I said before, in Maine, the average complexion is 'Starbucks cup'.

"Come on, let's go explore Tokyo!" Lorraine said.

"No, our next flight is in an hour and we are going to stay here."

"But we've come all this way! Just let me buy one figurine!"

"There's probably a store around here somewhere that sells that stuff. Tell you what, you have thirty minutes to go look around the airport. Afterwards, if you're not back, I'll call Elise and tell her to burn your manga collection."

She ran off and I gave a sigh of exhaustion. I found the gate for our next flight and picked a quiet spot to lie down on the floor near the window. It felt like it had been a week since I could actually lie flat on my back. Surrounded by other passengers and their luggage, I set an alarm on my phone and took a nap. Soon we would reach the Super-Kamiokande Neutrino Detection Experiment facility, but until then all I wanted was a room and a bed with no one else around. I just continued counting the seconds until I could go into my hotel room at Gida and lock myself up in solitude.

--

"I'm glad you two could make it," said Dr. Lawrence.

We were in the office of Dr. Saito Nagisa, head of the facility. He was a middle-aged man, but in better shape and with more hair than Lawrence.

"Glad to meet you," I said, shaking his hand. Lorraine did the same.

"The honor is mine. I had heard rumors that there were two people who could cause these transformations, but I didn't think them to be true. Whatever it is that produces these hybrid creatures, be it science beyond our comprehension or simple magic, I'm hoping that my facility may give some answers."

I sat down in one of the two chairs across from his desk. "I meant to look this up on the flight here, but Lorraine wouldn't give me any time to myself. What exactly are neutrinos?"

"Neutrinos are subatomic particles, about one millionth the size of an electron. They have a neutral electric charge, and due to their small size, are barely affected by the fundamental forces of the universe and rarely interact with regular matter."

"So, how do you detect them then?"

"Below this facility lies a 40-meter-tall steel tank holding 50,000 tons of ultrapure water. Inside the tank are 13,000 photomultiplier tubes that detect light from neutrino reactions. When a neutrino manages to strike a water molecule, an electron or positron is knocked off, moving faster than light, at least, faster than light can move in water. This creates a cone of Cherenkov radiation light, which is the optical equivalent to a sonic boom. The Cherenkov light is recorded by the photomultiplier tube. Using the information recorded by each tube, the direction and "flavor" of the incoming neutrino is determined."

"So you think neutrinos are causing these transformations?"

"No, not the neutrinos, something else." A knock came from his door. "Come in!"

A lovely young scientist entered the office, holding a folder. She was around my age, long black hair tied into a ponytail. "I have the results," she said.

"Perfect timing. This is one of my head researchers, Toka Itami. Please explain to them the results we've been getting."

She nodded and turned to us. "For the past year, we've been getting unusual readings from our detection lab. The sensors have been picking up something akin to Cherenkov radiation, but it hasn't been coming from interactions with the water."

"Our detection tank is buried underground in order to shield it from ambient radiation," said Dr. Nagisa. "That way, only neutrinos from solar activity and supernovae are able to enter the detection field. We believe that the neutrinos are interacting with something, another kind of subatomic particle. We'd like to put you in the tank and see if our sensors pick up anything."

"This is gonna be sweet!" said Lorraine.

Dr. Lawrence cleared his throat. "Though first, there is the matter of sanitation..."

--

"Oh, yes! Harder!" Lorraine moaned.

No, she wasn't getting laid. She and I were actually getting scrubbed in a chemical shower underground. No amount of brushing and soaping could wash the filth from her soul. I was doing my best not to react, but the people in the sanitation suits were brushing hard to remove all dirt and dead skin cells. The water in that tank was ultrapure, and they wanted to keep it that way.

--

Once we were cleaned, we were dressed in full-body sanitization suits, covering us from head to toe with facemasks and safety goggles. Dr. Itami led us down a brightly-lit corridor to a heavy steel door, and after punching in an access code, it swung open into an airlock.

"So, just to be clear, you actually want us to get into the water?" I asked.

"That's right, but first we want to get readings of you outside of the water. Whenever repairs or renovations have to be done, our technicians move around the tank in boats. There will be a small dock for you to stand on. We won't be able to talk to you while the detectors are active, but we'll flash the lights when we want you to get in and out of the water."

We stepped into the airlock and the door was closed behind us. The door in front of us then opened and we stepped out into a circular chamber, over a hundred feet wide and tall. The walls were fiberglass, and behind them, we could see thousands of sensors. The tank was half-filled with water, with a metal dock in front of the airlock entrance.

"So I guess we just stand here while they get their readings?"

She and I stepped onto the dock and closed the airlock door behind us.

"Did you ever think, in your wildest dreams, that you'd end up in a place like this? We're in Japan, standing in a neutrino detection tank. That... that is all kinds of messed up."

"I know, it's almost like... an anime plot," she said while elbowing me in the ribs.

I groaned in annoyance.

"Look at that water. I wonder what it tastes like. It's ultrapure right?"

"I bet it tastes bland. With nothing in it, it wouldn't have any flavor."

A few minutes later, the lights flashed.

"Alright, time to get in."

"I really hope it's not cold." We slowly and clumsily climbed into the water. "Fuck, it is cold!" Lorraine shrieked.

It certainly was. Being in the suit was definitely a weird experience. I could feel the water pushing in from all angles, but my skin touched nothing but rubber. We worked to keep our heads above the water so that it wouldn't get into our suits and we wouldn't contaminate it.

"After this, I'm dragging you to a hot spring resort. I won't take no for an answer," Lorraine said.

"Fine, but you're paying."

"I wish we could get all the hybrids here for that. Now THAT would be a great anime episode!"

--

"These are the readings were typically get. These are the results from the past year. And these are the results we got from you two."

We were back in Dr. Nagisa's office, looking over graphs from the sensors. The average neutrino detection levels were practically zero, the levels from last year were up about a quarter of the page, and the ten minutes of Lorraine and I in the tank maxed out the sensors.

I was overwhelmed. Finally, we had a clue. True, these numbers didn't mean much to me, but we had finally gotten onto the right path.

"Ok, so we know that the neutrinos are interacting with something, but what?" Lorraine asked.

"We call them temerons, we believe them to be a kind of tachyon," said Dr. Itami.

"You don't sound very sure," I said.

"You must understand," said Nagisa, "this is the deepest level of fringe science."

"Oh, I loved that show!" Lorraine squealed.

Moving on...

"So what are they? What exactly do they do?"

"Tachyons are subatomic particles, like neutrinos, that move faster than light, and we believe, possibly through time. Temerons, on the other hand, we believe move through dimensions."

"Dimensions? You're talking about the multiverse theory."

"Correct. According to the multiverse theory, there are infinite universes in which every possible occurrence has or will transpire, which also means there are infinite universes that could follow completely different laws of physics. We believe that temerons move randomly through dimensions, bringing with them different physical properties. These can manifest in black holes, wormholes, and quantum fluctuations, events that completely defy the laws of physics."

"Haven't you considered that maybe they do follow the laws of physics, but we simply don't understand the laws of physics well enough?" I asked.

"That's why it's currently just fringe science, beyond dark matter and even mirror matter. Temerons are essentially increments of randomness, making them impossible to predict. They pass through dimensions. bringing about upsets in the natural order. We believe that we are witnessing a mass migration of temerons into our section of space, manifesting in the appearance of hybrids. They bring with them aspects of different universes, such as different evolutionary paths, alternate realities, or splicing together life forms from separate universes. It may even be possible that life came to be because of temerons reaching Earth."

"And what does that have to do with us?" I asked.

"Our sensors cannot detect neutrinos, only the energy released upon neutrino reactions. What we've been sensing this past year is temerons passing through our space and colliding with neutrinos in the tank. The results we got just now with you two were due to neutrinos passing through your bodies but colliding with temerons. We believe that rather than being changed by the temerons and turned into hybrids, you both contain a vast amount of temerons inside you, and those temerons can be directed out from your bodies and into other life forms, causing the transformation into hybrids."

"This is why none of our tests picked up anything," said Dr. Lawrence. "Because the only way for us to detect what was going on was to use the second hardest thing to detect."

I sat back in my chair, my mind going a mile a minute. On one hand, it was an indescribable relief to finally have an answer, even if it was just theoretical. On the other hand, this was a pretty ridiculous explanation. Subatomic particles that move through dimensions causing randomness? But come on, I'm turning pets into sexy animal-eared girls, what other kind of explanation could I have possibly gotten?

"So is there any way to stop this?" I asked.

"Stop it, are you kidding? It would be easier to stop a supernova. Temerons are moving through our space in this universe at an increasing rate. For all we know, it could all stop tomorrow, or this stream could continue on until our universe destroys itself. My guess is that this isn't going away. We've entered the new age of human civilization, and it's just going to get weirder from here."

"But what about me? Is there a way to stop this from happening to animals and people around me?"

"There is no scientific basis for me to give any kind of answer. I can't even explain why you're full of temerons without experiencing any repercussions or transformations. My guess? Your body is going to keep producing hybrids forever, even after you die."

--

"Oh, this... is... bliss," Lorraine said. She and I were sitting in an indoor pool at the Wariishi Onsen near Higu. Behind us were the windows to the forest outside. This hot spring was coed, so there were both men and women with us. Actually, it was mostly men, and the women weren't exactly lookers, but that was no surprise. "After all that flying, this heat is exactly what I needed." She turned to me when I didn't respond. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, this water really is great. I just thought... that when I finally got an answer, it would change things. Is anything different now? If I end up turning another animal by accident, I'll still be where I was when I turned Betty and Elise. What am I supposed to do now?"

"Just figure it out as you go. That's the only thing we can really do. If something happens, deal with it then, but unless you know what it is or when it'll occur, there's no point in worrying about it now. We'll go home, you'll crawl into bed with your girls, I'll crawl into bed with my boys, and we'll wake up and make a plan for that day, and we'll just keep doing that and that's just fine."

"Every once in a while, you do manage to spit out a pearl of wisdom."

"Motherfucker, that's what makes me so endearing."

--

It was another nonstop nightmare getting back home, two of our flights getting canceled and one getting delayed twice. It was a relief when we finally stepped foot in Maine, and just like before, we had driven Lorraine's car so she was stuck with the parking bill! Ha!

We made the drive back to the farm, with the cows in the field mooing as we pulled up the driveway. Like my cabin, the Baxter home had been extensively remodeled, now more than twice its original size. We got out of the car, but for some reason, only the pillar men greeted us.

"Tobi, where are the girls?" I asked.

"They're inside with Elise," he replied without pulling away from the group hug with Lorraine.

I went inside, finding both Elise and Betty sitting at the kitchen table. Betty looked miserable, like she was suffering from a hangover.

"Hey, we're back," I said. "Were the girls good while I was gone?"

Elise looked up at me, a very tense expression on her face. "Take a seat."

I sat down next to her. "What's going on?" Icy fingers closed around my heart. "Is everyone ok?"

"It started this morning. Betty and I... are on our periods."

As a man, my natural reaction was of course disgust, but once I had a second to process, my jaw dropped. "Are you sure?"

"I'm a woman, so yeah, I know what I'm talking about! Just look at Betty! She's suffering from some wicked cramps!"

"Ugh," Betty groaned, "how the fuck do humans deal with this shit? Master, I'm begging you, turn me back into a cow. I can't take this."

"But if you two have periods, then that means you ovulate, which means... you can get pregnant."

"Yeah, about that. Girls! You can come down now!"

I looked to the stairs and saw Momo, Sonja, Chloe, Leah, and Jenny. Instead of rushing to hug me, they all held up positive pregnancy tests.

"Master, what does this mean?" Momo asked.

"Apparently they run on an earlier cycle than Betty and I."

Outside, all the cows raised their heads and perked their ears, certain they had just heard a shrill scream.

--

"Doc, something happened... something big," I said, lying on the floor in Elise's bathroom, ironically, in the fetal position.

"What do you mean?"

"Doc, can you please tell me what the symptoms are for a heart attack? Because I'm having one. I might also be having a stroke. Help me, Doc, I think I'm dying!"

"Whoa! Whoa! Slow down! Start from the beginning! What's going on?"

"They're pregnant, Doc, they're goddamn pregnant! Momo, Sonja, Chloe, Leah, and Jenny, I knocked them up!

"Wait, are you serious? Tell me you're serious!"

"Yes, I'm fucking serious! They're pregnant, Elise and Betty are menstruating, and I think I might be pissing my pants! Most of my body is going numb right now!"

"Slow down, take a deep breath!"

"Five! Five kids! And that's the best-case scenario! I sure hope you were telling the truth about the CDC supporting us, because I don't think I have the qualifications for any job that would let me feed ten people!"

"Yes, of course we'll keep supporting you! This is monumental, this has redefined the future of human evolution!"

"Fuck human evolution! I'm not ready to be a dad!"

"Of course you are. You've done a fantastic job taking care of those girls. You've been practicing parenthood for the past year, you can do this. Listen, I have to pass this on to my superiors. Right now, you need to be with your girls. Just relax, you won't be alone in this."

I hung up the phone and slowly got up. I felt like I was going to puke, but I built up my courage and opened the bathroom door, to find all of the girls waiting for me.

"Master, are you mad at us?" Sonja asked.

I took a deep breath. "No, of course I'm not mad at you. This is just... a huge shock."

"What is?" Chloe asked. "Elise won't tell us what's going on."

"Let's all sit down and I'll explain it."

We all gathered around the kitchen table, me facing the girls. I tried to pick the words I was going to say, but it felt like there was a wool sock stuck in my throat. "Girls, the five of you are pregnant."