All Comments on 'Mother's Dream'

Avery good start; but don't wait to long for the next part. I love happy endings.

way too many spelling errors and a storyline that has been beat to death. a waste of 3 minutes i'll never get back.

I don't get these stories with very little build up and no pay off.

Please proof read and then have someone else proof read your story. Using "to" for too doesn't say much about your writing skill. Spell check won't catch "be gin" for begin but the readers do. If these were the only two mistakes I would over look them but they aren't.

What was going on between Donnie and his mom that made him feel free to finger fuck his her when she was asleep? And why was he back so soon? Maybe I missed it and she had been out of it for three days until Donnie got back. Lots of holes in the story line that need to be plugged up, no pun intended.

One of my pet peeves and I reread it 4 times and I still don't see WHERE the to should have been TOO . I on the 4th time spotted the be gin BIG DEAL. Well I sure couldn't be his proof reader !! GOOD STORY tell us more

But the storyline is hot.

Please tell us more as I so wanted him to fuck her and give her the pleasure she deserves.

Perhaps the story could be a bit of the author's imagination if needed, and write about how she became her son's lover, and they loved and fucked each other for as long as she was alive.

I'd love to read more of the story.

The to that should have been too is in paragraph nine, line four.

The sentence reads: The water was a little to [too] warm but I sank down into the foaming water

Jeff Jones

... the point when you had her get a bottle of Zen Fidel was where I gave up. It might have the potential for a good story, but the spelling and grammar were atrocious. You really need to have someone proofread your stuff before you post it, because in its current state it's unreadable. (I'm willing to help if you want - you can PM me.)

PS: it's "Zinfandel."

to know that it's "shudder". "Shutter" is a type of window covering, inside or out.