by Treasure_Island
Get this translated from Indian English to regular English and it might stand a chance. As it is now it's pretty bad.
Obviously English is your second language, so the use of a good editor would iron out the unconnected jumps in your story. It was OK but could certainly be improved upon.
Good story.So what English isnt perfect.Its not going to be submitted for a Pulitzer.
AWESOME start.
Can’t wait for the next night fun.
Well written.
Short but exciting.