Precipice

Author's note: Thanks to everyone who read/commented on my first submission. Very grateful!

This is a shorter story and has some of the same themes. Sort of. Anyhow, it is non-erotic on the whole. Hope you enjoy!

Precipice

2019

It was the morning of his wedding and the reluctance was stronger than ever.

The priest had given him a piece of paper with a summoning incantation and said it would help clarify things. Randall thought it absurd, but such was his desperation for guidance that he had read the incantation anyway. Now he was in a room staring at the thing in front of him with bewilderment and anxiety.

The Entity was long enough that its segmented body spiralled around the entire room from floor to wall to floor again. It held onto the walls with multiple pairs of legs that looked insectoid to his eyes. Its skin was pitch black with a blanket of white spots that were moving slowly; they looked disconcertingly like stars. There were four points along its body where the swirling star-spots headed towards before disappearing, as if the entity contained black holes under its skin.

The front of the Entity curled around to the middle of the room, the body widening to a muscular looking bulk with six pairs of legs holding it up. From the middle of that thorax, for want of a better word, rose a long, thick neck ringed with bony protrusions, like a spine. Atop that, was the Entity's head.

Randall didn't know how to process the Entity's head. It was vaguely humanoid. Its cheekbones were excessively prominent, and the top of its head was markedly angular, but other than this, the head was entirely smooth and dark grey. It looked a little leathery, like the wings of a bat.

Randall noted that the stars in its body did not appear in its neck or head, which made them stand out more. The lack of eyes, nose and mouth disturbed Randall, so it wasn't very difficult for him to feel cowed where he stood.

The Entity rose, the legs on its thorax straightening directly underneath, until it towered over Randall.

Slowly, the front of its head stretched vertically, until Randall saw that something resembling a mouth appeared. It had extraordinarily little depth and several string-like protrusions bulged from the surface, stretching from top 'lip' to bottom 'lip'.

When it spoke, those strings of flesh vibrated at different rates. Its voice sounded almost electronic.

"I can help you make the choice," said the Entity.

"How?" Randall asked nervously.

"I can show you what lies in store."

Randall frowned. He pulled at his sleeve, almost knocking the cuff link out of it.

He was uncomfortable already thanks to the suit that Elaine had made him choose for the wedding, but the presence of the Entity multiplied that discomfort a thousand-fold. The thought of running out of the room crossed Randall's mind and all he could think about was how the suit was too tight for that. His little fidgets and swallowing made him look like he was in trouble.

In a way, he supposed he was. In two hours, he was meant to be waiting at the altar to see the love of his life walking up to him, accompanied by her cantankerous father. Yet, here he was, ambivalent and adrift.

The Entity was offering its help. It struck Randall that despite the cluttered room, the Entity's body seemed nicely settled in the space, as if it were ignoring the chaos entirely.

"You do this for everyone?" Randall asked.

"Only those who are truly unsure," replied the Entity.

it's entire body moved forward a few steps and Randall froze. Now, most of it was on the ground almost completely encircling Randall. He suddenly felt like prey.

"You have to understand... I didn't think you were real," said Randall, taking a step back from the Entity's head, unaware of himself.

"More real than you. Well?"

"How does this work?"

Almost every one of the Entity's legs straightened, causing its body to rise until it was level with Randall's chest.

"My body transcends your boundaries. Look within."

"What?" Randall frowned.

"Look within," the Entity repeated, turning its head to look at its body.

It took Randall a few moments to notice the difference. Of the four convergence points for the Entity's bodily stars, the first one was now a dark circle. Around the circle, there appeared to be a narrow ring where the stars would distort into lines of light, as if they were being poured into the abyss in the middle. That abyss expanded slowly until it was the size of a human head.

"Y-you want me to look into that darkness?"

The Entity waited.

What did he have to lose, really? As terrified as he was, he kept asking himself the question: he could trust the priest, couldn't he?

He had until his best man came to fetch him, and he had been waiting for that knock on the door with a subtle tension throughout his body. Outside that door was his life and Elaine.

Randall walked past the Entity's thorax carefully. He stood in front of the convergence point and gulped air. The abyss reflected no light whatsoever and Randall hesitated; it didn't even look as though it was part of the Entity. Perhaps it was not.

"Enter," said the Entity. "Look within."

Randall leaned over and brought his face to the abyss. He could feel the cold emanating from it. Then, he closed his eyes and pressed his face against it.

---xxx---

2026

It felt like cold water as it closed over him. Somewhere between the corner of his eye and his ears, the feeling of liquid disappeared, and he was just standing in darkness. The world blurred into view as he braved opening his eyes. He blinked a couple of times and suddenly there was clarity. He was no longer in the room with the Entity.

He stood in a white kitchen, with brown panelled cupboards and drawers. It was small and reasonably clean. There were some dirty dishes and crockery about, a couple of glasses of whisky next to the bottle, and a few slices of pizza in a box.

To his surprise, his body began to move without his input. It walked over to the counter, picked up a slice of pizza and took a large bite. It tasted slightly different than usual. His mouth chewed on it despite his own lack of hunger and the eyes looked around, allowing Randall to see more of the house. There was a view of the hallway and a few photographs on the wall. The door at the end was alien to him.

A moment later his body was walking to a table, holding a plate of pizza and it happened to stop in front of the calendar briefly. Randall understood suddenly because he saw the date at the top. 2026.

This was seven years in the future, and he was simply a passenger in his body.

"Randall?"

Elaine appeared in view to his left, looking more worried than he'd ever seen. She wore a tank top and Randall could see that she had tattoos now, both just under her collarbone at each end. She looked older. Her hair had a few more greys despite her being twenty-nine and he could see her face held weariness in it. She'd gained a little weight, too, and he liked how it sat on her body.

It took him a moment to figure out that this was the assessment he was making; his other self appeared to be unimpressed by her appearance. Even a little emotionally dulled. Randall felt like two people in one body; feeling his current emotions and perception superimposed on those of his other.

He had the strange experience of hearing himself speak without his control. "Hey Lainey. You okay?"

"Randall, can you explain this to me?" She held out a phone. The screen was displaying a few messages.

Suddenly, his heart was pounding. The lungs wouldn't take in air properly and Randall felt the pulse echoing in his ears, followed by a brief light-headedness.

"Randall?"

"Uh, what is it?"

Elaine gave him a look he didn't recognise; all he knew was he never wanted to see it again. "Randall, really?" Elaine whimpered, sliding the phone over to him.

His body took the phone and looked at it. At the top of the screen was a name Randall didn't know but his body stopped breathing upon seeing it. There was a surge in his head again. More light-headedness. The amplified fear shivered throughout his body as his heart drummed harder and he thought his neck would burst from the force of it.

"Elaine," said his pathetic voice. "This isn't what you think it," -- but that died on his lips because of course it was what she thought it was. Randall had seen the messages on the screen and as much as he didn't want to believe it, they were already seared into his memory.

Guilt flooded him, but Randall was no longer sure who was feeling it; himself or his other self.

The worst part was Elaine wasn't even shouting; there was no energy in her at all. It was so unlike the vibrancy he was used to seeing. She was just looking at him with wet eyes like he was a stranger; an echo of his own feelings about himself. The idea that he could've done that to her was utterly abhorrent but there lay the proof on the counter between them.

"Why, Randall?"

"Elaine, it didn't mean anything," he heard himself say. It seemed so stupid, so useless.

"Didn't mean anything? Randall, I read the fucking messages!" That was a more familiar tone of voice.

"Lainey, I—"

"Don't call me that!" She was furious now. "You don't— I can't believe you... This? I never thought you'd do anything like this. I didn't think you even knew how!"

His body slumped in his chair, eyes darting away, refusing to look at her. The light-headedness came and went in a rhythm that made him feel nauseous. The guilt was heavy in his throat, almost choking him.

"Why, Randall?"

"Look, it's not been easy for me, you know?" His other said. Randall groaned inwardly, sheer disbelief seeped into him.

"Not been easy?" Elaine asked. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly that. The last several months have been so... Just so—"

"So what? God, fuck you, Randall. As if you're the only one who's been going through our shit. Our shit, Randall. It doesn't belong to just you or me, it belongs to the both of us!"

"I know that—"

She interrupted him with a loud noise of disdain but said nothing. Instead, she stared at him. His eyes met her gaze once but immediately looked away. Randall hated that.

"And it had to be her, didn't it?" She murmured. "I told you, Randall. I told you. All those late nights. And you just acted like nothing was going on."

"Nothing was!"

"What do you call this, then?!" She yelled, pushing his phone at him.

"I meant... I meant nothing was... at first." His voice almost tripped on the guilt.

"How long?"

"What?"

"How long has this been going on? I want to know how long I've had nights where I was just sitting here wondering when you'd be home while you were out there fucking her."

Randall never found out. It was all too much, and the nausea hit him hard right in the middle of his torso like a spasm, the surge of anxiety accompanying it with more potency than before. He felt something jerk him back from behind and for a terrifying moment, he felt as though he'd stumbled and was going to fall backwards forever.

---xxx---

2019

Randall opened his eyes. He was back in his room, where the Entity had been standing still the entire time. Randall looked down at the convergence point and saw the abyssal hole shrinking smaller until it was the size of a fifty pence coin. The bodily stars kept going, obliterated by the darkness.

Randall felt thoroughly confused. He spun around to look at the Entity, which simply regarded him with a softly tilted head as if it were curious. Waiting to see what he would do next.

"That wasn't real," said Randall.

The Entity said nothing.

"I'd never do that to her," insisted Randall. "That was some kind of trick, wasn't it?"

"It was your future," said the Entity softly.

"I'd never do that to her, ever!"

"Did you know what you'd do today when you thought of this day years before?" The Entity asked.

Randall hesitated.

"You mortals know many things. Until you don't," said the Entity, its mouth-strings blurring with every syllable. "Did it help you decide?" It added.

"Decide?"

"If you want to enter the arrangement with her."

"What I saw wasn't real. It couldn't have been," repeated Randall, but the conviction had gone out of his voice.

Doubt crept in like a shadow. He never thought he'd be standing on his wedding day and questioning his conviction for marrying her, so what did that say about him? All that pride he'd felt from being a good partner to her for all those years; it all felt so hollow.

The Entity looked at its own body again. Randall did the same. The second point of convergence was coming to life; expanding exactly like the first. The reluctance was almost overwhelming after what he'd already seen. How was this supposed to help him decide? Did he have to accept it as truth? Was the future not unwritten?

"Look within," said the Entity.

Despite his hesitation, Randall walked up to it and after a few moments of gathering his nerves, he pressed his face to it.

---xxx---

2033

When he opened his eyes, he was in a darkened room and Elaine was dancing with him. They were swaying to a song so close together that Randall could feel his body responding to the proximity. Past him was a table with two glasses of red wine on it, both half full. His body could feel the alcohol as well as new aches in parts that he wouldn't have imagined. His hands felt rougher and her body felt different in his embrace. The smell was different, too; she'd changed her perfume.

She looked up at him and smiled, lips dark with colour and eyes heavy-lidded from the mixture of alcohol and her affection for him. She was older. As they turned around, her head back on his shoulder, he saw himself in a mirror above a fireplace.

If he'd had any control over his body, he would've backed away from the mirror in utter astonishment. His head was shaved now, and he knew it was because the hair loss must have begun, just like it had for every male in his family. He'd always known he would start shaving his head if the baldness happened to him, too. It was so strange, as if he was staring at a painting someone had done as speculation; or his visage was being filtered through one of those stupid phone filters.

He felt his body hold her closer and he heard her moan softly against him. She brought her mouth to his ear and whispered, "I can't remember the last time we danced like this."

"Two years ago. That club down in Soho."

"Mm... yeah. God, I forgot about that place," said Elaine. Her voice was soft and misted with nostalgia.

"We spent over two hours on that floor just together."

"Mhm," agreed Elaine. "Perfect. Just like now."

"I love you, baby," said his other self, and Randall felt the surge of love that was already there, rising in power.

It felt unlike it ever had, but he couldn't figure out the difference in it. There was an age to it, and a comfort Randall couldn't fathom with any depth. It occurred to him that he wouldn't be able to anyway, no matter how long he thought about it. It was the love for Elaine held by the other Randall, and they'd gone through things together that he couldn't imagine or know about right now. Except for the infidelity.

Randall felt a twinge of guilt for something he hadn't even done yet and forced himself to focus on the moment.

"I love you, too," said Elaine, bringing her arms up and hugging them around his neck.

Had they moved on then? From that time in the kitchen, when he'd had to witness that horrible look in her eyes where he was the betrayer.

"Definitely a good idea, sending the kids out to my parents' place for the night," said his voice.

"You're not feeling guilty, are you?" Elaine asked.

"No! Why? ... Are you?"

Elaine gave him a rueful look. "A little."

"Lainey, this is the second time we've had a break since Ellie was born." Randall reeled from the revelation that he had children now. It felt unreal. His other self was smiling as he said that. Randall could feel the understanding of Elaine's emotions because the other Randall mirrored them.

"True," said Elaine. "It's just..."

"Yeah, I know. I can't stop thinking about them. Isn't that ridiculous? It's our first night alone together in over eight months and I'm thinking about the kids."

Elaine laughed, leaning forward to kiss him on the mouth. "We weren't prepared for this, dude."

"Not at all," he heard himself agree.

Randall desperately wanted his body to look around so he could see if there were any pictures of his children. The idea was utterly alien to him but the feelings he could connect to every time the other Randall mentioned the children was something overpowering; completely suffused with a terrifying mixture of love and paranoia. Paranoia for their safety mingled with the horrible recognition that he and Elaine had brought a pair of human beings into the world and were wholly responsible for shaping them. But all of that was tempered with an overwhelming love.

"No regrets, though, right?" Elaine asked, stroking his face softly with her fingertips.

"Not a single one."

She smiled. "We might as well make the best of tonight, you know?"

"Yeah?"

She kissed his mouth softly at first, but it deepened the longer it went on. Randall had the odd experience of feeling himself take hold of her sides and urging on with his lips; but it wasn't Elaine. It wasn't his Elaine. He could feel the sensations of the kiss and the movements that went with it, but it was slightly off, like he was a touch out of sync with its rhythms. And yet, he could also feel that his mouth fit with hers just fine.

Elaine ended the kiss slowly and then smiled as she turned to walk to the sofa. Randall watched as she took her dress off and let it drop.

He stared. It was Elaine and yet it wasn't. While his other self admired her heavier curves, Randall felt half detached. He almost felt like he was observing in a clinical setting. Her buttocks were slightly lower and rounder. As she turned, she revealed her belly. It was no longer solid and firm, and he could see the stretch marks nearer the bottom; marks of her motherhood. He didn't know if it was the lighting or not, but her skin tone seemed different, too. She subtly arched her body a little and her chest was suddenly more prominent to his gaze; larger breasts and darkened nipples.

He wondered how long ago she'd given birth.

She held her hand out to him, smiling beatifically. His body walked over to her and took her hand. Randall jerked back suddenly, and everything went dark.

---xxx---

2019

He opened his eyes and watched the abyss shrink. His mind was running; thoughts about Elaine and how they'd aged. And children. They had children. No... they were going to have children. How many?

"We were happy," he said quietly. "Really happy."

The Entity shifted slightly.

"We had children," said Randall, smiling.

"Mortals must find other ways to endure, I've noticed."

"Endure?"

"Time," explained the Entity.

Randall looked at it closely, trying to discern if there was any hint at all of emotion. He decided there weren't enough features to make that obvious.

"How much of this is really my future?"

The Entity lowered its body slightly as it took another few steps around the room, making the third convergence point line up in front of Randall.

"Look, if you're showing me my future, that means I can change it, doesn't it?"

The Entity turned its head to Randall and went still. Randall got the point; he wasn't going to get any easy answers. But it had to be true. If he knew seven years from now, he was going to hurt her like that, then he could avoid it. A thought passed through; it would render the second insight into his future meaningless.