Scene 29 Revisited

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Anyone reading this story may feel like I've written Natalie Portman to seem a bit morose or sullen, and you'd be right in that respect, so I should probably explain that this story didn't start out as a sequel to 'Scene 29'. Rather, it was going to be just another story, one that was partly informed by my own experiences (albeit wild exaggerated). With that in mind, happy reading.

*****

She glided across the red carpet with grace and poise. It had been years. I remembered a girl in her 20s and now saw a woman. Natalie Portman in the flesh; she looked as stunning as ever. The adoration of the crowd and the media was just as intense as I remembered. And so, I was content to simply stand at a distance and take in her beauty from afar. That was day 2 of this year's Cannes Film Festival. It wasn't until day 4 that we finally met face to face again.

Most people look at Natalie and think 'Star Wars', or 'Thor' or maybe even 'Black Swan', (or at least the lesbian scene in 'Black Swan' anyway). But when I think about her, I just think about that quiet little independent film we made all those years ago that sunk at the box office without a trace. It lost money and garnered little attention from audiences and critics alike. Natalie and I both moved onto bigger and better things, though my mind still wanders back to my time on that film at least once a week.

In hindsight, trying to finger your co-star while filming a sex scene is not the wisest career move for an actor. I often thought about how that could have just as easily resulted in a bad case of sexual harassment, but as luck would have it, it just resulted in us having sex for real. We didn't even know each other very well, but we were both young, both single and had been flirting constantly. But even in the moment, I think we both knew it wouldn't last. I got to have sex with Natalie Portman and she got a few good orgasms out of it and then we were done.

Months later we met again when doing the promotion tour for the film. By then things were back to normal. We didn't speak about it. We just went about doing our jobs promoting the movie. We of course had coffee and a few meals together but that was it. I saw her once a few years later at a Golden Globes after party. By that stage, she was married, heavily pregnant and had won an award for best actress. We shared a knowing smile from across a crowded room but with her award statue in hand and a swollen pregnant belly (not to mention pregnancy boobs); she was fending off well-wishers left, right and centre, so unfortunately we weren't able to speak.

But as I said, day 4 of the Cannes Film Festival this year and suddenly we found ourselves attending the same film premiere. It wasn't either of our films but we were both invited to the red carpet and for once, all eyes were not on Natalie. We met in the crowded lobby of the theatre as people were about to enter. With every step she took towards me, she became less the Hollywood icon and more the girl I knew on that movie set all that time ago.

"Hi you," she said happily.

"Hello yourself. Been a long time."

For a split second, we stood there awkwardly, neither sure what the appropriate greeting was considering our history. Thankfully she decided for us and gave me a warm hug. I wrapped my arms around her and felt a thin layer of silk covering the same small, slender body I remembered. She had brought her A-game today.

"How have you been?" she asked enthusiastically.

"Not bad. Don't know if you've heard but my acting days are behind me."

"I heard. You're behind the camera now. Your film has had rave reviews so far."

"It's not a big deal. What about you? What have you been up to?" I asked, as if I hadn't been keeping tabs on her via the internet.

"Well-" she started.

"You know, apart from an Oscar, getting married, having a child and starring in a couple of Marvel films."

Natalie laughed. "You pretty much summed it up. How much longer are you in Cannes?"

"This is it for me. After this, I'm just playing tourist and movie buff. You?"

"I fly out the day after next."

"You excited to see this film?" I asked, gesturing at one of the nearby ubiquitous movie posters.

"Of course. My friend is one of the supporting actors. Where are you seated?"

"Not in a good seat," I said, showing her my invitation.

"Well, it could be-"

"NAT!" someone called out.

We both turned to see a woman being swamped by photographers just outside the theatre. I recognised her as one of the faces on the movie poster.

"That's my friend," she looked back at me and scrunched her face in frustration, "I'm sorry."

"Go, you're too pretty to be standing here talking to me."

She laughed before hugging me again. "I swear we'll talk after. I want to have a long catch up."

"Done."

She left and disappeared into a blinding flurry of camera flashes. I hadn't noticed it until just now, but my heart was racing.

***

Inside the theatre, I couldn't focus on the film. I was seated towards the back whilst Natalie was closer to the front and on the aisle. I paid little attention to what was on screen and instead, I watched the back of her head intently but she never turned around, nor did she do anything aside from the odd comment to the person next to her. It certainly didn't help that the movie was quite dark. Only during the occasion scene set in daylight was I able to clearly see her.

After what must have been a full hour, Natalie rose from her seat and quietly slinked out of the cinema. For a moment I was unsure what to do. On the one hand she might've just been leaving to go to the bathroom. But the manner in which she left, particularly what appeared to be a farewell with the person next to her led me to believe she was leaving. I debated my next move for about a minute before deciding to turn my attention to the movie. Of course by that stage I realised I hadn't been paying attention at all and found myself completely lost. That made my decision for me.

I left the theatre and half expected to have to run to the exit to catch up with her. Instead she was leaning against a column, looking at her phone.

"Giving the film a thumbs down I take it?" I asked.

She turned around and smiled when she saw me. "Is it just me or was that movie mainly just sex?"

"Well, it is French."

"You going back in?"

"I fell asleep and only just woke up, so no," I lied.

She laughed and put her phone back into her clutch. I looked at her for a moment, glad to finally be able to look into her eyes again. I was unsure in that moment what to say next. Luckily she spoke first.

"You know it's funny I should see you. I happened to catch our movie on TV late one night, a couple of weeks back."

"Oh God. How does it hold up?" I chuckled.

"Well, it's still quite terrible."

I watched her face closely but she didn't betray any emotion or thought. I was willing to let it go until she said,

"You know the rule. If you have fun on set, it usually means you're making a bad film," she said, before adding, "But we had fun right?"

"Of course. Best job I ever had."

Again, I watched her face closely and again, she was impossible to read. I wasn't sure if she was purposely trying to avoid the elephant in the room or if it genuinely didn't register. Perhaps it was the pre-movie champagne that had been served in the lobby earlier, but I couldn't help myself and blurted out,

"And you know, the sex was pretty great."

This time, I saw a wide smile spread across Natalie's face. That smile turned into a laugh as she replied,

"And there it is. I was wondering how long it'd take for you to bring that up."

"Oh please, like you weren't thinking it."

"I was," she admitted. "You never told anyone did you?"

"Nah. No one would believe me anyway."

"Good."

"Well actually I did tell Charlie. I don't know if you remember him, he was the assistant director."

"I knew it," she laughed. "I never told you but he kept looking at me weirdly for the next few days."

"I only told him about the first time though. Didn't mention the other time at the wrap party."

"Well that's something. I never told anyone. I wasn't keen to spread the impression that I'd spread my legs for any old co-worker."

"Their loss."

She laughed again and said, "I will said that my husband mentioned the sex scene to me a few years ago and said, 'you know, I can always tell when you're faking in movies, but you're REALLY convincing in this one.'"

"Would he be jealous if he saw us talking?"

"Probably. But he's a long way from here."

"He didn't come with you?"

"No. He stayed at home with our son. Nothing like motherhood to make you appreciate a quiet hotel room to yourself."

She had to mention having a hotel room to herself didn't she? Notwithstanding the mention of a husband and child, my mind suddenly went crazy thinking of the possibilities.

"You know, the night's still young. Want to grab a coffee?" I asked.

"I'm kinda tired. And I've already called my driver."

"Oh," I said, trying to hide my disappointment. I should have left the theatre sooner, I thought.

"But I'm staying at the Intercontinental under the name Sarah Crowe. Come find me tomorrow."

"I'll do that."

"Come on, walk me to my car."

We walked quietly down the red carpet, this time moving away from the theatre. It was a warm night and at this point, there was only the odd film festival worker cleaning up the carpet. Naturally, Natalie still managed to turn some heads.

My head was going a million miles a second, trying to find something clever to say to make her laugh and keep the conversation going. Unfortunately it was then I realised that in all the years since doing our movie, I had mainly thought about the sex and not the other good times we had together. As a result, in that moment, nothing came to me.

I looked up and saw a black sedan at the end of the red carpet, a middle aged Frenchman leaned against the hood smoking a cigarette

"Your driver?" I asked.

"Yeah. Nice guy," she said before adding, "Maybe a bit too chatty."

The driver caught sight of us, nodded at Natalie, tossed away his cigarette and hopped in the car. We stopped in front of the rear passenger door and looked at each other. I had about a million things I wanted to say; but in that moment, I just couldn't think of any of them. As if to reassure me, Natalie put her hand on my arm, smiled and said;

"Tomorrow, Intercontinental, find me."

"Done."

Natalie leaned in a kissed me on the cheek before getting in the car without another word. I watched the car the whole way down the road until it was out of sight. She looked back twice.

In my head, I had only one thought: "what was my end game here?"

***

9 years ago, I had woken up to see her sleeping naked beside me. The result of a night of passionate sex; a release of sorts, of all the pent up sexual tension that had resulted from filming a sex scene together. That day, all those years ago, I remember watching her sleep for almost 30 minutes. I remember every detail. The curtains were open and the light bounced off her dark hair and radiant skin. She breathed quietly, her breasts rising and falling with every breath she took. Her nipples appeared rock hard from the chilly morning air, tiny goose bumps on her arm.

Eventually, her eyes flutter and then open. She looked at me, smiled and I leaned in for a kiss. She laughed and muttered something about how she didn't make a habit of sleeping with co-workers. I said my opinion of her hadn't lessened. She yawned, stretched her arms above her head and I leaned in and held her close. She laughed again before nodding, and spreading her legs. We had sex again; it was nice and slow and by the end, we were both immensely satisfied.

We spent the rest of the morning in bed talking. Later, as we prepared to leave for the movie set, we shared the shower. Eventually, we went back to the real world; Natalie arrived on set first, I 20 minutes later. We acted professionally and didn't give anything away about what we did; though I would later confide in a friend. We kept meaning to do it again before filming ended, but things always got in the way.

At the wrap part we finally got our chance. We were several champagnes in, speeches were given by all the important people involved in the film, everyone was in good spirits. Natalie and I found time to slip away and have sex in a bathroom stall. It was seedy, it was drunken; and it was over pretty quickly, but I that didn't make it any less enjoyable.

We returned to the party not too long after and continued to mingle. Later, we went back to her hotel and fell asleep together, literally just sleep, no sex; the champagne had seen to that.

The next morning we both woke up hungover. She had a flight to catch. We never did get to have another go at it. That was 9 years ago.

***

I thought of her immediately after waking up. My bed was empty this morning; in my mind, I wondered where I'd be waking up tomorrow morning. I knew it was a preposterous thought. We had what was essentially a one-night stand 9 years ago and since then we haven't been in contact and she now had a family.

Nevertheless, I spent most of the day wondering when was the best time to call her. I did the typical male thing and insisted on playing it cool. By the time I finally picked up the phone and called the Intercontinental front desk, it was 3pm.

"Hi, can I be put through to Sarah Crowe's room?"

"Oui, one moment" replied to desk clerk on the phone.

She picked up the phone after only two rings.

"So, is it still Sarah Crowe, or I can just call you Natalie?" I asked.

She laughed on the other end. "Natalie is fine. I've been waiting all day for your call."

"All day?"

"Well, I had a press conference for the film at 10, but other than that, yeah."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to keep you waiting. Lets do dinner tonight."

"I'm hungry now."

"Really? It's 3."

"You got me, I was lying," she chuckled, "Let's do coffee now. I wanna see you."

"Good, because I wasn't paid much for my film so every penny I save counts."

Natalie laughed. "My hotel?"

"10 minutes?"

"30."

"I thought we were in a hurry?"

"A girl's gotta get ready."

"Not when your name is Natalie Portman."

"20 minutes," she pleaded.

"Your hotel?"

"My hotel."

She hadn't even hung up before I was half way out the door.

***

"I wished I'd packed nicer clothes," I muttered.

That feeling grew tenfold when I saw her emerge from the elevator. Last night on the red carpet she was slathered in makeup and wearing an obscenely expensive dress; she had been perfect. In contrast, in this moment she looked almost ordinary as she emerged from the elevator; wearing a summer dress, flats and with her hair neatly pulled back behind her head; she looked like anyone else, and I was ready to fall in love with her then and there.

"Hi," she said cheerily.

After last night, I went for a hug again but instead she went for a friendly kiss. I resisted the temptation to close my eyes and savour the residual feeling of her lips on my cheek and her perfume in my nostrils.

Looking at her now, in the harsh fluorescent light of the hotel lobby and the ambient daylight from outside, I was able to see her clearly. She was 26 when I had first met her; she had been in the peak of physical beauty. Right now, I could see her as she really was. And though she certainly looked older, more lines across parts of her face, features hardened just that little bit; she was still more beautiful than anyone else I had ever seen.

Perhaps "older" is a misnomer; mature was more accurate; she looked more mature. She is better described as a woman than a girl. She was speaking to me but I could barely pay attention, she was that beautiful. It was then I realised just how insanely attracted to her I still was. Suddenly, coffee wouldn't be enough for me.

***

9 years ago we were hanging out on set, joking around, flirting and eventually, fucking. We were both in our mid-20s, neither of us close to starting a family (I'm still not), and not a whole lot of responsibilities outside of whatever movie set we were on. It wasn't exactly the deepest of relationships, but neither of us expected anything from it. We were both in a strange city, far from home and free to follow our impulses. In short, it was fun.

Now here we were all this time later, in the French Riviera talking about life; I was immediately struck about how different our relationship was this time around; how much we'd both changed. She spent the first 10 minutes talking about her son; she apologised for being late coming down to the hotel lobby as she'd gotten caught up Skyping with him. We spent most of our coffee time going over photos on her phone of her son. 9 years ago, I don't remember he saying the word "son" or "child" once. Hell, even our characters in the film didn't have kids. She was barely a quarter of the way through her photos when she put the phone down and apologised for getting carried away. Curiously, she didn't mention her husband once during this time. When she ducked out to go to the bathroom, I literally had to do a quick Google search to check if she was even still married.

When she got back, I was relieved when she decided to change topics. Unfortunately, her first question was not one I enjoyed answering.

"I've told you all about my life. What's been happening with you?"

Well, I'm unmarried and don't have a kid for starters, I felt like saying. Instead, I do what I always do; avoid talk of my personal life and focus on my professional one.

"Directing movies keeps me busy. I'm lucky the script for my new film came when it did and that it's doing pretty well; I honestly thought about giving it up on the business for awhile. Too much stress and being out of work for long periods is tough. I won't say it's been easy, but I'm glad I stuck with it."

"All work and no play. No one special in your life?"

I was really hoping she wouldn't ask that question.

"There have been girls here and there, but nothing has ever quite worked out."

"You'll find someone," she said (I hated that line), before adding, "who knows, with a successful movie under your belt, maybe you can snag yourself a pretty young actress."

"Are you offering?" I asked jokingly.

"I said young. Maybe a fresh out of college twentysomething."

"I'll settle for pretty and smart," I replied, looking directly at her as I said so. For a split second, we gazed into each other's eyes and I could tell, we were both on the same page. But the moment disappeared as quickly as it came.

"What are you working on now?" she asked.

"Nothing at the moment. I'm just focused on promoting this film. After that, I suppose I'll just wait till the right script comes along. You?"

"I'll take what I can get," she said glumly. "I'm in my mid-30s Jim. Give me a few years and the roles will probably start drying up."

"You'll never be out of work."

"You'd be surprised. It's hard for women to keep getting roles after unless your name is Meryl Streep. I might have to prepare myself to be a stay-at-home mom."

"I'd hire you in a second. You wouldn't even have to go topless."

Natalie laughed and immediately shushed me as she looked around to make sure no one else in the café had heard.

"I haven't done nudity since our film."

I was very well aware of this fact, but replied, "really?"

"None of my roles really required it. Even for 'Black Swan', I was clothed the whole time. Now I think it's too late."

"Why?"

"Have you not been paying attention to our conversation? I had a child a few years back. It's taken a lot of work to get back into shape. Even now, I don't look like I once did."