- Incest/Taboo
- Sister Pt. 02
- Comments
All Comments on 'Sister Pt. 02'
by gothicsyn
- 10 Comments
This was significantly better than the first. Keep it up!
Nicely written, but Joey is kind of unbelievable. He thinks he's making the rules, but Emily actually calls the shots, and controls the action. He does nothing but flip out his huge wang on demand for her enjoyment. He doesn't really seem to give a shit. Nine hard to believe inches, and he'd rather sit and play video games instead of taking a little initiative. It's just going to waste, when he could be the toast of the town's girls. He even seems to have some natural talent for using it, as his lucky sister has discovered, but she might start getting bored at having to keep being the initiator. Wake up, Joey!
Talking in the first and third person, rather nice trick..... not!
been=being
Why is it so much trouble for illiterate writers to use and editor?
example: She gently kissed me gently with her gentle lips
Please find yourself an editor, and use them.... Thanks
I like the stories. Keep them coming. I do agree with some of the other comments. Joey really isn't in charge and it's time to move away from Emily being a biatch towards him!
Yes, very well done and Emily will want to screw him now every chance she gets. I think she should give him blowjobs too and he should eat her pussy ! I think they can really enjoy this and go very far. His sister is really into him and wanting more. The love is growing between them and they will bond as lovers too! Cannot wait for more, thank you !!
But what a scum of the earth phoney slut!!! Well, I gotta be me...
Editors are not what's needed as much as are proofreaders. Bad spelling and grammar are prevalent in most of these stories is the poor use of you, your and you're. As well as two, too and to. When I start to see a pattern of these, I usually stop reading, give it a 1 or 2 and move on. In some rare cases if it intrigues me I'll give it a 4 star rating.