Six Months in a Leaky Boat

"God dammit Jon. You really are an idiot for allowing all this to happen."

"That's not helping."

"Yeah, I know. Well, for a start you need to ask Jenn if she still loves you, if she still wants to save your marriage too. If she says yes, tell Jenn that you two need some time away to work it out together. You need to make it clear that she can't be dating another guy if you two are to work through this."

"She already said that she's not sure if she still loves me, what if she doesn't want to work through it, or still wants to date this guy?"

"Well, I'm sorry but your marriage is over then Jon. Both of you have to want to fix it or you're wasting your time."

"But I spent six months seeing Stefanie to figure out in the end that I still love Jenn and want our marriage to work."

"Jon, are you honestly prepared to stay with Jenn for six months while she fucks this other guy to figure out if she still loves you and wants to still be married?"

"No, absolutely not. But what about my affair? You said I have to tell her."

"Yes, but there's no point if she doesn't want to work with you on fixing your marriage first. If she still loves you, and you two can go away to spend time together to work on this, then you need to come clean."

"She will fucking hate me I know it."

"Probably. But you owe her that if you want this to work. You two need to be able to talk to each other about everything. And you need to put yourselves in front of your careers dumbass. Spend less time at work and more time together, it's not rocket science."

"Okay, thanks Sis, I do appreciate it."

"Good luck Jon, I mean it. I hope it's not too late already."

I finished my beer and left for home. I guess it was time we had another talk.

I walked back into our apartment, Jenn had cleared the table and was sitting on the couch curled up. She sat up as I walked in and sat down beside her.

"Listen Jon, I'm sorry for saying that last bit before you left. I was just frustrated with you."

"Yeah, I know. But we need to talk and agree on a few things Jenn, seriously."

"Like what?"

"Well, the first is I got to know if you want to try to save our marriage. If you still love me enough to at least try something before we give up."

"I do love you Jon, it's just that this has been going downhill for so long now and you've been so distant."

"Why didn't you say something Jenn?"

"Why didn't you? You had to know we were in trouble too."

"We really need to talk to each other more."

"That might have helped."

"We can still turn this around. The second part is I want us to go away for a week, right now. I'll book a holiday resort somewhere nearby and you and me will go and spend the whole time working our way through this. Finding each other again."

"I can't do that with work, I have things I need to get done."

"Jenn, that's been our problem the whole time. Work comes first, we come second. Just this once we need to do this for us, work can wait."

"I don't know Jon. You're asking a lot."

"Well, that depends whether you think our marriage is worth it I guess."

"That's not fair, you can't just drop that on me and say it's my fault if I don't agree."

"This isn't about blame Jenn, I can't fix our marriage on my own. I need you to want to as well, and if we don't do this right now, it'll probably be too late."

"Alright, I'll see what I can do."

"Thanks, and that brings us to the final thing I wanted us to agree on. Neither of us can date other people while we're working through this. Not even for dinner."

Jennifer sat there and looked at me for a few seconds, then sighed and nodded her head.

"Agreed. But it's only me this affects, isn't it? You never had a date lined up."

If Jenn knew about Stefanie, she wouldn't have said that.

"Maybe not, but we can hardly work on our marriage if we're busy thinking about other people."

"Alright, do you have any other demands?"

"Come on Jenn, don't be negative about this. By this time next week I'm hoping we'll be as happy and in love as we were when we got married."

"Let's hope so. Okay then Jon, I'm all in. Where are we going to go?"

"I'll have a look shortly, somewhere we can relax and be alone though."

I leaned in and gave Jenn a soft kiss on the lips, she raised her hand up to my face, looking into my eyes as I kissed her again. This time was far more passionate, it was like a fire had been lit. Both of us frantically trying to rip each other's clothes off. I picked up Jenn and carried her into the bedroom where we fell onto the bed.

Our mouths were entwined as we struggled to free ourselves from our underwear. It happened so quick, as I pushed my cock inside her. Jenn let out a deep moan and gripped me around my back while we still had our mouths locked in a deep kiss. She then broke the kiss while staring directly into my eyes.

"Fuck me Jon, I need this so much. I need you so much."

"I'm not ever going to stop wanting you Jenn, I promise you that."

We fucked each other passionately, enjoying the spontaneity of the moment. This is what we were both missing, the spark, the passion. Within a few minutes I could feel myself about to explode, the moment was too much to contain myself. Luckily for Jenn, she had just already reached her climax as I shot my load deep inside of her. We both collapsed on the bed, taking deep breaths, both with smiles on our faces.

I began to laugh.

"Goddamn I missed that."

"Yeah, that was good, but I want some more shortly." Jenn responded.

"Oh really, I'll see what I can do."

I rolled over towards Jenn and kissed her on the lips, but this time was slow, I wanted to savor the moment. I was hopeful now that we could get back what we'd been missing. Then I jumped up from the bed and put my boxers on.

"I'll be back in a few minutes for round two. Don't go anywhere."

I went out to the lounge room and turned on my laptop. I checked for resorts in New York State and quickly decided on Lake Placid, just west of Burlington, Vermont. I booked a room for a week starting the day after tomorrow, which was a Saturday. I got a glass of water, then headed back to our bedroom.

"How does Lake Placid sound?"

"That sounds wonderful, when are we going?"

"Saturday morning, we can go to work tomorrow to get the week off. We will be there until next Saturday, just the two of us, fucking every day."

Jennifer nodded her head and had a huge smile across her face. Seeing her this happy was something I have missed for too long.

"You ready for round two, mister?"

I responded by pulling my boxers down and jumping back on to the bed, embracing Jenn in another kiss as my hands began to roam all over her body.

The next day at work after speaking with my boss I decided to give Molly a quick call.

"Hey Sis."

"Hey Jon, did you speak with Jenn last night?"

"Yeah, she agreed to go away for the week. We're leaving tomorrow."

"That's great. How did she handle all of this? Did she agree to not go out on dates?"

"Yeah she agreed, and she handled it fine. We ended up in the bedroom 're-acquainting' ourselves, twice."

"Damn Jon. You two might make it after all."

"We'll see, she still doesn't know about my affair. I'm having second thoughts about telling her."

"Look Jon, that's up to you. But it'll be hard to be truthful with Jennifer going forward if you have that hanging around your neck. But, in the end you need to do what you think is right for you."

"Thanks Molly, I have to run. I got plenty I need to deal with today so I can have next week off."

"Bye Jon."

We arrived at Lake Placid and booked into our room. It had a terrific view from the bedroom, looking out over the lake which looked beautiful in the spring. We showered together and then went to get some lunch in the restaurant.

"I'm so glad we did this Jon, it sort of feels like a second honeymoon."

I thought about that for a moment and it made sense. This was like us starting over again.

"You're right, this is like a second honeymoon. This time we'll do our happy ever afters a lot better than the first time."

Jenn smiled and reached for the menu. This was going to be a great week.

In the afternoon we took a walk along the path on the edge of the lake, then visited some of the shops in the town. After we had our restaurant meal, we headed back to our suite for the night.

This time we made love, slowly and sensually. I can't remember kissing Jenn so many times or in so many places before. It lasted for almost two hours as we took our time and just enjoyed being so close with each other. I'd never felt so intimate with Jenn before, it was like I was falling even more in love with her than ever.

I could tell by the way she was looking at me, how she is always touching me, holding me, that she is feeling what I am. I'm so glad I took Molly's advice to get away, it just might save us.

The next few days we spent mostly in our suite, having sex in our bed but occasionally in the shower or hot tub, even once on the balcony. I had thought about talking to Jenn about my affair, so that we really could be starting over, but I kept putting it off as I was enjoying myself with her too much. I knew our fun would come to an abrupt end if I told her. I decided I would wait until our last night, if I had the courage.

As Friday rolled around, I woke up to look over at Jenn asleep beside me. She looked beautiful, peaceful even. Then I thought about what I had been putting off, being honest with her. I know I should be, but I also didn't want to ruin the new found spark that was alive between us again. I reached for my phone and again decided to text Molly to help me decide what to do.

"Hey Molly, U there?"

"Yep."

"QQ, been putting off telling Jenn about affair."

"U need 2 tell her."

"This week has been fire, don't want to ruin it."

"OK but when?"

"Don't know."

"U have to do it. Sooner u do sooner u can get past it."

"Or divorce."

"Risk u have 2 take."

"I know thx."

"Bye."

Okay, that was no help. What I wanted to hear was that I could happily keep it a secret for the rest of my life and it will be all good. Do I really want to tell Jenn and risk losing her? Can I keep it to myself and not spend the rest of my life regretting that decision?

I put my phone on the bed and got up to take a piss. I could hear my message tone go off as I walked into the bathroom, no doubt Molly giving me more sage advice. I finished my piss and washed my hands, then walked back into the bedroom.

I saw Jenn's face looking up at me from my phone, shock was written across her face.

"Who the fuck is Stefanie, and why does she miss your cock after one week?"

Ah fuck.

I stood there frozen for a few seconds like a deer caught in the headlights. Then Jenn threw my phone at me and jumped out of bed and started to get dressed.

"I can't fucking believe you brought me up here to save our marriage, and you're fucking someone else!"

"No, Jenn wait. I broke up with her before we came here. I was going to tell you and explain what happened."

"Really? Why would I believe a fucking word you have to say? And I don't care if you broke up, you're a lying cheating piece of shit!"

"Jenn, hold on. I was going to tell you, part of coming here was that I would be honest with you so we could start again."

"The week is almost done, and you hadn't told me yet had you? I had to find out by a text on your goddamn phone. I can't believe you did this."

"Here Jenn, look at my phone, look at the texts I just sent Molly talking about telling you. Look and see when the last time I texted or called Stefanie. I swear, I was going to tell you, and I will never see her again. I had already decided I wanted you and our marriage last week."

"I can't listen to you right now, I don't want to see your face. I'm going for a walk, don't follow me."

Jenn then stormed out of our suite. Well, that has fucked things up.

I got dressed and sat on the balcony. From here I could see Jenn begin to walk slowly along the lake front path, every now and then she would stop looking out at the lake for a minute or two, then continue slowly walking.

I sat there in the cool spring sun, wondering what the hell I should do now? I need to be totally honest with her if she will listen to me. Tell her when it started, and why it ended. I'm not sure if she will listen to me at the moment, or even care. Why the fuck did Stefanie have to text me? Goddammit!

I called Molly, I just needed some reassurance that things might still work out.

"Hey Molly."

"Hi Jon, if I'm going to be your personal therapist now, I want to start getting paid."

"Jenn knows."

"Okay, you decided to tell her, that's a start. How did she take it?"

"I didn't tell her, Stefanie texted me while I was in the bathroom, Jenn read her text."

"Jon, you idiot, you should have listened to me."

"I know, but can you save me the part where you're right and I'm a fool and get to the part where you tell me what the hell I should do now?"

"Alright, but you are a fool you know that right?"

"Yes, I know."

"What did you tell her already?"

"That I ended it with Stefanie before we decided to go away for the week, that I wanted to be with Jenn. I told her I intended to tell her, I even offered to show her our texts discussing it."

"Where's Jenn now?"

"She went for a walk along the lake front, I guess she's deciding what to do."

"Where are you guys?"

"Lake Placid."

"Nice. Look, if you want, I can give her a call. Not sure if she'll take my call, but if she does, I can at least tell her that you were planning on being honest with her. She might want someone to vent her anger to as well, it could help."

"Thanks Molly, let me know how it goes. I really owe you one for trying to help."

"Hey, that's what big sisters are for."

I looked out to where Jenn was walking and saw her answer her phone. At least she picked up, that's something. I was hoping she wouldn't put her phone away straight after though, and she didn't appear to. Hopefully Molly and Jenn were talking about what a stupid asshole I was. I could see that Jenn had stopped walking and was looking out over the lake again, one hand gesturing back and forward. I think she was venting to Molly right now.

The call seemed to go on for a good ten to fifteen minutes. Then I saw Jenn put her phone away and slowly start walking back along the path towards the resort. Then my phone rang, it was Molly.

"Hey Molly."

"So, you really are in the shit."

"Oh god, that bad?"

"Well, I think she does believe that you were planning to tell her about your affair, and that you had ended it. She also agreed that you really do still want to fix your marriage."

"Well, that's okay then, right? That doesn't sound that bad."

"That doesn't take away from the anger she's feeling Jon. Just because you wanted to stay with Jenn or work on your marriage doesn't remove the fact you cheated on her. And right now, she's furious with you."

"But she was about to cheat on me too with this guy from work."

"Jon, she was going to separate from you before that happened, that's why she had the talk with you. She wasn't planning to cheat behind your back."

"And that makes it okay?"

"If you two were no longer together, then yes."

"Alright. Was that all, you guys were talking for a long time?"

"Some of that was Jenn calling you every name under the sun, but after that we talked about quite a few things."

"Like?"

"Like how your marriage got so bad to begin with, how you two were hardly talking to each other. How she had began to give up hope. Also, about being asked out on dates, feeling wanted again, feeling attractive."

"I always thought she was beautiful."

"But you stopped saying it Jon, you stopped wanting her. Now she thinks that's because you found someone else more attractive, someone else you wanted more than her."

"That's not true, I think Jenn is more attractive than Stefanie. I guess I can see how she thinks that though, especially how our love life became almost non-existent in the last six months."

"Jon, I asked her if she had enjoyed this week, she said it had been the best week of her life before this morning. I asked her if she still loves you, she said yes, but that right now her anger for you is just as strong."

"She's on her way back Molly, do you think she'll still give me a chance?"

"That's hard to say, I don't think she's made her mind up yet. You need to think carefully about what you say to her when she gets back."

"Any advice?"

"Nope, she's your wife. If you don't know what to say or do, well."

"Anything else?"

"Just that you're an idiot."

"Yeah, I know. Thanks Sis."

"Good luck Jon, you're going to need it. Bye."

I could see Jenn approach the resort entrance, I got up from the balcony and walked back into the bedroom, sitting on the end of the bed.

What could I possibly say to her that could cool the anger she was feeling for me right now, or that might be able to save our marriage from falling apart? I leaned forward and put my head in my hands. I really have fucked this up.

The door opened and I looked up at Jenn, she'd been crying, her eyes were still glassy. She walked over to the bed and sat down beside me. We sat in silence for a good thirty seconds before Jenn spoke quietly.

"Do you have any idea how much you've hurt me Jon after the week we've had?"

"Yeah, I can imagine if our roles were reversed, how much that would hurt me. All I can offer is that I love you Jenn, more than ever after this week."

"That's just not enough right now. Right now I'm angry, I imagine myself doing terrible things to you with a smile on my face."

"It would be deserved I guess."

"And to think how guilty I was feeling about accepting a dinner date, and the whole time you were fucking someone already."

"I know, I was a hypocrite. But I kept it a secret from you because I didn't want to hurt you."

"You think I was trying to hurt you when I told you about the date? I was trying to be honest with you, about where we were and where we were going."

"Yeah, you were honest with me. I was trying to be honest with you too, I swear. I've been so worried I'd lose you once I told you about the affair, so I kept putting it off. It's also why I don't want you to go on any date, I know where that ends up, it's how Stefanie and I got started. I too told myself it was just dinner."

"I don't want to hear her name leave your lips ever again. I want to go home Jon, now."

"Jenn, can we talk about this first? It's a part of why we're here, so we don't go home with shit unresolved."

"What are we going to talk about Jon? How many times you fucked her? How many times every week you snuck around behind my back to go over to her apartment or wherever? How many times you came home to sit with me at the dinner table or lay with me in bed right after you just finished fucking her? Is that what you think we should be talking about Jon?"

I looked over into Jenn's eyes, she had tears starting to roll down her cheek again, but she had an anger in her eyes.

"Jon, all you want is for me to forgive you and to forget all those things you did so you can live with yourself. Right now I'm not ready to forgive or forget, and sitting here all day talking about it won't help me to do either. I just want to go home."

I nodded back to Jenn, maybe she just needs some time. We packed our clothes up and checked out of the resort. The drive home was quiet, I decided I wouldn't raise it, I would let her talk about it when she was ready.

Both of us rarely spoke for the rest of the weekend, every time I tried to talk to Jenn about anything, she would give me a short answer and end the conversation. She didn't sound angry or rude, just that she clearly wasn't prepared to have conversations with me just yet.