The People Makers Ch. 16

The Story of Sam J. Jones

His name was Sam Jones. He was a Junior Data Collator (fourth class!) in the World Government Office of Censored Statistics in Omaha, Nebraska. He was handsome, strong, muscular, and had bright blonde hair (at least, until he arrived at the Station).

When he arrived he was bewildered to find the Earth destroyed, gone, five hundred years in the past, and thousands of light years that-a-way. He felt lost at first, until a kind woman named Susan Shinn took him under her wing. She seduced him, fucked him, and partnered with him, and then stopped speaking to him altogether after they got a combined score of only 580.

Sam felt fairly miserable about the whole pairing process after that. He tried to spend time with the other guys but didn't really like them either. He felt they were blowhards, fakes and phonies. One claimed to be a governor; another a billionaire, and yet another a famous Survey Service Captain, but to him they all seemed like frauds.

The only guy he kind of liked was Haggis O'Leary, which was odd since Haggis was perhaps the least friendly of the bunch. At least Ardis and Craig and Gavin would smile and pretend to be friendly with him. With Haggis there was no layer of friendliness but neither, he sensed, was there any phoniness. So he sat and talked with Haggis though whether Haggis was listening he wasn't always quite sure as he always seemed to be gazing at other people in the room.

And then Serra came.

At first Sam thought it was Sarah. Sarah, his beloved. Sarah, the love of his life... and the woman who barely knew he existed. They had both worked in the Office of Censored Statistics and for Sam it was love at first sight. But Sarah had been dating a tall black man named Obamaungabunga and thought of Sam as little more than an officemate or at most a casual friend. Sam had been secretly in love with her for six months when he got taken. Sarah was long dead now, 500 years gone, and yet still he pined for her.

And then... Sam saw her again, one morning in Bermuda!

From the back it looked exactly like Sarah. Of course, Sarah had been blonde and most everyone's hair here was white, but then he heard her girlish laugh and he knew it was her!

He ran over to her, raising eyebrows all over the lounge.

"Sarah!" he cried.

She turned around to face him. She had almost the same, thin girlish face as Sarah... but it wasn't Sarah.

"Excuse me?" she said.

Sam skidded to a halt.

"How did you know my name?" she said.

"Sarah?" he asked, sounding confused.

"Serra, S-e-r-r-a. Is that what you were trying to say?" she asked. She had an amused little smile on her face.

"No, I was saying Sarah."

"But my name is Serra," she said. "What is your name?"

"Sam," said Sam, feeling dazed. "Sam Jones."

"You look flustered. Why don't you sit down and join me for breakfast?"

"Sure."

Her name was Serra. The face was almost the same, the voice was almost the same, but clearly it was not his Sarah. Her eyes were blue, not hazel, her face was a bit longer, and her breasts were somewhat larger. She had just arrived two days ago. She had been immediately seduced by a kind man named Ardis McDuff, "A billionaire!", who had fucked her, partnered with her, and then stopped talking to her when they had only scored 590 together.

Since Serra was new and had only partnered once, she still had men chasing after her. A thought occurred to her. "You're not here to partner with me, are you?"

"No!" said Sam.

"Good," said Serra. "I need a break from that stuff."

Sam sat and listened to Serra talking about her life in Nova Scotia. She had been a Fishing Auditor for the World Government, instructing fishermen when to fish and when not to and what was permissible to fish for. She felt good preserving the environment, but obviously felt sad that despite the well intentioned efforts of herself and millions of World Government social engineers that the planet had still be destroyed by Galactic Temperature Change.

She talked about her parents, she talked about her sister Seska, she even talked about her boyfriend Hirogen. Sam just sat and breathed it all in. It didn't take very much imagination to think he was with Sarah again. It was like being in Heaven.

As she stretched her arms and yawned and said she was going to bed early, Sam impulsively asked if he could have breakfast with her tomorrow.

"Of course," she said with a smile. She extended a slender hand. "It was so nice to meet you, Sam!"

He felt chills shaking it.

********

Sam walked by Haggis's table at lunch. "You look happy," said Haggis.

"I am!" said Sam. "Can I tell you about it?"

Haggis gently tapped the table with his fingertips. "Why not?"

Sam sat down opposite him. "I met this girl, Serra."

"And she's going to partner with you?"

"No," said Sam. "But she does want to be my friend."

"How nice," said Haggis, playing with his electrofork.

"You don't understand. Serra looks and sounds almost exactly like Sarah."

"Excuse me?"

Sam explained Serra's resemblance to the woman he had had an intense crush on back on Earth. "She even has the same name! Almost."

"What are the odds of that?" Haggis asked with mock interest.

"I know!" said Sam, mistaking mock interest for the real thing. "And she likes me!"

"And so?" said Haggis.

"So... what?" Sam asked.

"What's next?"

Sam shrugged. "Maybe our friendship will grow into something more."

"Is that the strategy you used with the other Sarah, on Earth?"

"Well...."

"And would you say you have more time to try this strategy here, or less?"

"Probably less," said Sam. He sucked his lips inward. "I do really wish I had had the courage to tell Sarah my true feelings. But I'm afraid if I do the same with Serra that she'll reject me. Just having a friend in this place is really important to me, you know?"

"Especially a friend you're very much attracted to."

"Yeah." Sam gave a goofy smile. "Is there anyone you're attracted to, Haggis?"

Haggis cast a quick glance at Marla, who was chatting with Hamilton Jurgenson across the room. "No. Attraction is a weakness here. One which can be used against you."

********

After three days of having breakfast with Serra, Sam got up the courage to walk by her table at lunch. To his delight, she invited him to join him. Soon they were having breakfast and lunch together almost every day.

"What about dinner?" Haggis asked when Sam gave him his next update.

"What about it?" Sam asked.

"Why don't you ask her to dinner?"

"Oh... I don't know... I couldn't."

"Why not?"

"She might say no," said Sam.

"You'll never know unless you ask," said Haggis.

Before long Sam and Serra were having nearly all their meals together, and they were the talk of Bermuda and sometimes Algeria and Oregon. And yet... they never partnered together. As far as anyone knew, they never even has sex. They were just friends.

"Is that really possible?" Marla asked, sitting at Haggis's table.

"Is what possible?"

"Them," she nodded in the direction of the table Sam and Serra was at. Sam was saying something and Serra was laughing. "For men and women to be friends. Just friends."

"No," said Haggis quickly. Too quickly.

"That's what I thought," she said. Then she leaned forward and stared provocatively at him. "You know, you have your cycle and I have mine. It's time for me to select another partner."

"Good luck with that."

"I was thinking about Hamilton Jorgenson." She looked for any trace of emotion in his face.

"Yes, I saw you talking with him," said Haggis.

"Really?" She smiled at him. "Watching me?"

"Among many others," said Haggis.

"That's probably what you did back on Earth. You worked in surveillance. I can see you watching women on a hundred different holoscreens, watching, recording, listening."

"It sounds like a very voyeuristic profession," said Haggis.

"But that's all you, Haggis. All you do is watch. You dutifully select a partner once a month, one you have absolutely no feelings for, but the rest of the time you simply watch, simply wait. What are you waiting for?"

"Maybe the next bus back to Earth," said Haggis. He paused. "That idea you had about Hamilton Jorgenson."

"What about it?"

"I'm not sure he'd be the best match for you. His scores have been in the low 500's."

She leaned forward again. "Do you have a better suggestion?"

"Yes. Giscard."

"Giscard?"

"Giscard Reventlov. The engineer."

"Oh." Marla looked a bit deflated. "Why?"

"He has higher overall scores. And his analytical ability would be a good match for your good personality."

"You think I have a good personality?" said Marla.

"You're friendly and outgoing and you don't just talk but you also listen. Your empathy and understanding quotient is quite high."

"Why Haggis.... If I didn't know better, I'd say you like me. Just a little."

"Maybe, just a little," said Haggis.

"But not enough to stop me from sleeping with Giscard Reventlov?"

"No, not as much as that."

She gave him a bittersweet smile. "All right, Haggis the inscrutable." She got up to leave.

"I'm not so inscrutable, Marla."

"Oh?"

"You're listening to the music, but you're not hearing the song," said Haggis, staring up at her with clear blue eyes.

********

At lunch the following day Serra had a big grin on her face. "I have great news."

"You do?" said Sam, sitting down next to her.

"Yes!" She put a hand over his, making his heart jump. "Gavin Ansom wants to partner with me!"

"What?" said Sam.

"He's such a nice guy, Sam! And he's the former WG Controller for California, did you know that?"

"No."

"Imagine that, a powerful WG Controller interested in partnering with little old me!" She looked so happy!

"That's... nice," said Sam.

"Oh, don't fret, Sam," said Serra. "You'll find a girl to partner with, I'm sure of it."

"Maybe... maybe you can suggest someone to me, tonight at dinner," said Sam.

Her face fell. "Oh, I'm sorry, Sam. I'm having dinner with Gavin."

"Dinner?"

"Yes! We're having dinner and consummating tonight."

Consummating. "Isn't that a bit quick?"

"Well, the Genetic Council is meeting tomorrow afternoon and that barely gives us time to meet first with Bessie. Normally she doesn't schedule pre-approval meetings on such short notice, but Gavin has influence with her. He could be the one, Sam! Isn't that great? Imagine if Gavin and I were the parents of the next human race!"

"I... I'm very happy for you, Serra." He took a deep breath and tried not to cry.

**********

"What did you expect?" said Haggis.

"I...."

"You expected the same thing you wanted with Sarah, the original Sarah," said Haggis. "But she only thinks of you as a friend, right?"

"Right," said Sam. "But I still held out hope...."

"Having attachments in this place is not a strength, Sam. It's a weakness."

"It's a weakness I wanted very much."

"I know that. But this woman... she's not even the woman you're thinking about. And that woman, the original woman... you never even had a relationship with her," said Haggis. "You fell in love with the idea of a woman, not an actual woman you were involved with. You remind me of a character I once created who fantasized about a certain woman being his perfect woman, ignoring what she really was like in real life."

"A character you once created?"

"Sorry," said Haggis, twitching his fingers. "A poor choice of words. My point is that there is nothing unique about Serra, except in your mind she vaguely resembles another perfect girlfriend archetype from your past life on Earth." He paused. "But none of what I said changes the way you feel, does it?"

"No."

"I didn't think so." Haggis paused. "Do you still want to be her friend? You don't have to watch, you know."

Sam looked over at Serra having dinner with Gavin. Every time she smiled, every time she laughed it was like sticking a dagger in his heart. "I know. But it hurts more not to."

********

The next morning Serra actually stood up and hugged Sam as he approached her table. "Oh, Sam, it's so good to see you!"

"It is?" said Sam.

"I feel so refreshed and invigorated!" said Serra. She smiled slyly at him. "Gavin and I spent the whole night together. It was so nice to fall asleep in a man's arm's again!"

"I'm... I'm glad for you, Serra," said Sam.

She bit into some atomic toast. "Busy day ahead. We meet with the First One in the morning, and then the Genetic Council in the afternoon. By dinner time I could be the mother of an entirely new human race!"

"I'm... happy for you," Sam repeated, struggling for the right words.

********

"He looks like he's drowning," said Marla, sitting three tables away.

"Drowning in a pool of affection of his own making," said Haggis.

"How poetic," said Marla. "Have you ever considered writing?"

"Poetry?" Haggis shook his head. "I've never had an aptitude for it."

"You use words in such a precise way, like a...."

"Like a what?"

"Like a scalpel," said Marla.

"Maybe I was a surgeon back on Earth," said Haggis.

"Maybe," she smiled at him. "I took your advice, by the way."

"Which advice would that be?"

"Giscard Reventlov. We're going to seal the deal tonight. Does that please you?"

"More than you'll ever know," said Haggis, eating his space eggs casually.

She leaned forward. "Haggis O'Leary, I know you like me."

"Do you?"

"Yes," said Marla. "Do you really have absolutely no feelings for me beyond that?"

He gave her a long look. "I'm sorry."

"So am I," she said, standing up abruptly.

*********

Serra scored a 620 with Gavin. She was told it was a good score, an above average score, but not close enough to passing to make retrying worth while.

"I'm sorry it didn't work out," said Sam, as they shared dinner.

"I am too," she said, noticeably looking around at the diners in Bermuda.

She's looking for who to pair with next. She's looking at everyone but me.

Neither Serra nor Sam saw Frog watching them from the edge of the holographic scenery.

**********

By sheer coincidence, Marla also scored a 620, partnering with Giscard Reventlov.

"You see? An above average score. I told you," said Haggis.

"Thanks for the advice," said Marla dryly. She nodded towards the table where Serra and Sam were. "How's your boy doing?"

"Hope springs eternal," said Haggis.

"And hope is crushed eternally," said Marla.

"Exactly," said Haggis, rewarding her with a rare smile.

*********

Two days later, Serra had dinner with Roland Miller.

"She says he's a writer. Serra says she likes creative types," said Sam.

"Who doesn't?" Haggis asked.

"How... how can I be...."

"How can you be what, Sam?"

"Like him." He nodded at Roland.

"A famous writer?" Haggis asked.

"Or... just good at something. Anything."

Haggis raised a fork to his mouth. "Have you ever tried being good at being yourself?"

Sam gave him a puzzled look.

**********

The next morning Serra told Sam all about it. "Roland was nice. He's a warm, witty guy. But... I don't think he's right to partner with."

"Why not?" Sam asked.

"I... I just don't feel I have a connection with him, you know?" She looked at Sam. "When I talk to someone, I have to feel something. Do you know what I mean, Sam?"

"Yes, yes, I think I do."

"He's a very nice guy, but not the one for me," said Serra, looking around at the men at the other tables.

*********

After they finished breakfast, Sam was heading to the exit when he saw Frog.

"Hello Sam."

"Hey Frog."

"Is there anything I can do for you?" Frog asked.

"I... I don't know," said Sam.

"I notice you having breakfast with Serra," said Frog. "She's a very nice woman, isn't she?" His talk crystal glowed with every word.

"Yes, she is," said Sam.

"I'll bet she likes men who can dance. Can you dance, Sam?"

"I... yeah, I can dance," said Sam. "What of it?"

"Just be sure to be on time for dinner. Have Sarah meet you in Bermuda. If you're ready, you'll have an opportunity."

*********

It was a new age jazz band. There was a baked potato playing the saxophone, a bowl of gelatin playing an electric piano, and a glass of Biter Juice playing an atomic guitar.

When Sam showed up he saw Frog looking at him, and nodding slightly.

"It's music! I've never heard a live band here before," said Serra.

Sam looked at the baked potato playing the sax. "I'm not quite sure it's alive."

She laughed, and hooked her arm into his. "Care to dance?"

"Why not?" said Sam.

Sam was not an incredible dancer, but he was serviceable enough; his sister Milly had seen to that. "Sam, the way to a woman's heart is through her feet." He had puzzled over that until she had taught him to dance. When she was done she pronounced him "not terrible." But he had never had the chance to try out his skill... until now.

Serra seemed pleased by his relative skill level, smiling and winking at him as they danced. It's working, he thought.

"Oh Sam I'm having so much fun!" she said.

"I am too!" he said. And then his heart leapt and he grew courage he didn't know he had. "Serra, there's something I want to tell you."

"What is it?" she asked.

"For a long time now, ever since we met-"

"Excuse me, may I cut in?"

Sam turned and saw a man half a head taller than him with a big chest and broad shoulders.

"The name is Taylor, Michael Taylor. May I?" he asked.

Sam gave a dissatisfied nod.

And then all of a sudden Serra was dancing with someone else.

********

"A Captain in the Survey Service?"

"Um hm," said Taylor. "You heard about the little problem the Earth had with the Black Box?"

"The Black Box which almost destroyed the planet? Sure! It was said that the Survey Service sent someone into the Black Box to shut it off." She frowned. "Was that you?"

"Um hm."

"You... you were the one who saved the entire planet?"

"Well... I had some help," said Taylor modestly.

"WOW!" said Serra. "I... I never thought I'd meet the savior of the planet Earth! What do I call you, Captain, or-"

"Michael," he flashed her a smile. "Just Michael."

********

Sam watched the two of them dance and talk and laugh all evening. He tried to summon the courage to cut in again but he couldn't. He would be devastated if Serra refused him, which he strongly suspected she would.

He sensed Haggis coming to his side.

"How? How did this happen?"

"It's always been the survival of the fittest, even on Earth," said Haggis. "But here, even more so. Those who pass down their genes are always the boldest and the strongest."

"Neither of which is me," said Sam.

"That's why I told you it's best not to have any attachments," said Haggis.

Behind them, Frog watched in silence.

********

And so Sam watched as Serra partnered with Survey Service Captain Michael Taylor.

"He's so handsome! He's so dashing!" Serra said at breakfast.

"Yes, he is," said Sam

She frowned. "Is something wrong, Sam?"

"No," said Sam.

"There is something wrong. And I think I know what it is," said Serra.

"You do?"

"Yes," she said. "You haven't partnered with anyone in a while, have you?"

"No, no I haven't," said Sam, trying to keep the excitement out of his voice.

"Well, I have the perfect woman for you. Her name is Shelly Rendler, and she's a little older but very kind and understanding-"

********

Sam watched as Michael Taylor wined and dined Serra that evening. He knew what was coming. They all did. As they walked hand and hand out of the Oregon Lounge, it didn't take much imagination to figure out what would happen next. Taylor would take Serra to his quarters. He would kiss and hug her and Serra would laugh and hug and kiss him back. Then he would take off their clothes and he would slowly and carefully make love to her, rubbing his big, broad chest against her perky breasts. Then he would insert his big, hairy Survey Service penis in Serra's vagina.