All Comments on 'The Secret Desires Of A Son'
by lust_or_bust
- 21 Comments
The story could use a little more actual loving and perhaps some more build up before he fucked her.
Perhaps having her seduce him for a couple of days, and then he could realize what she was doing and then seduce her.
A lot more explicit sex, descriptive in what they were doing to each other, and having him loving her the next morning to show her that he really wanted more of her, than just her pussy, that he wanted all of her to love and take care of.
My first comment would be for you to return to school and take lessons on the proper use of the English language. There are three errors in your last sentence where you asked for advice. There are many more in the body of your story; those errors are too numerous to count.
This is an excellent contribution from a first-time author. Any time a boy gets sexually involved with his mom is good news. I'd have preferred if Sam had stuck his big young cock elsewhere than up his mother's ass (guess where), but this is a very good first step. I'm heartened that Sam says "she told me next time it's going to be in her." That has to mean in his mother's mommy-hole, that wonderful hairy hole between his mother's legs that Sam came out of. Just perfect and so damn cool. When the boy does shove his fat cock up his own mother's cunt and blows his balls up where he was once a baby, Sam and his mom will realize that his mother's warm wet mommy-twat is the natural home for his prick and for all the creamy semen in his hot young balls.
A potentially good story idea ruined by poor writing skills.
I suggest you read what you have written and see if it reads well (or not in this case).
Write as if you were talking and telling the story to someone.
My dog just ate a dictionary and shat out a better story, and it was spelled correctly. Go away and quit polluting ths site with junk like this
Don't listen to the anons. This is decent. I agree that more description would be good.
I just love (and, yes, that IS sarcasm) assholes who can't stand someone having a different opinion.
It is a readable story, you should add more chapters to this base story, get into more depth and develope your characters a bit more, also get more discriptive on the sex action expanding on what the mother and son do sexually with each other. Hey never mind the "nay sayers" this is fiction and fantasy, so you should be applauded for sending in your stories may visitors to this site bever submit anything
Your writng form is crap,you have no sense of story telling and you had such a good plot but ruined because you are thinking about just about sex no foreplay,In conclusion it's a bunch cock shiit,this cactonic story is something that's written by someone who just found out about punani...
You need to slow down. Add some good content and some twists. And some romantic stuff. Not just lust.
Grammer requires work. Words missing. Story line too weak. Try again.
Grammer needs work, words missing, in one part you said she took her clothes off and later said he took her clothes off. which is it?
How could you tear off her shorts and panties, when just above you said she took off her clothes?
Not much to this just wham bam thank you mam and to short!!!Gave it a 3!!!