All Comments on 'The Woman She'd Already Become'
by HectorBidon
- 43 Comments
I normally don't like romance stories that are this short, but I really enjoyed this one.
Bravo. Hoping for a Chapter 2.
thanks, hector, it was sweet, but real, and you have a fine eye for detail.
Sweet is about the best word that could be used for this story Nice read, and it didn't need all the erotic description that normally comes with a story like this.
A really good story without all the orgasmic screaming you usually get on Literotica. Well done
Amazing that you fit such good character development and plot into two pages. I identified with them both. Unrequited love also sucks.
You have taken me on a wonderful short trip in time and space and not to be forgotten for the lessons that are contained. Thank you.
All my comments would echo what others have said. I will add well done.
The portion about the Age of Innocence was amazing. The complete story was extremely well thought out and presented for us to read and reread because it is so poignant. 5 stars or above
Prolonged_Debut10
Very well written. This is one of the best stories that I have read on this site. Please write more.
I would truly like to see where YOU saw this couple going from here. Still, a well written story even if you choose to end it here
Ed
Pretty good character development. This couple might merit a series.
I love this story. Thanks for sharing this heart warming story.
Well done! Well written, nicely developed and worth reading. Thank you.
A sweetness...sensual...a taste...a touch...a feeling...please let us see where it all goes!
Loved this story. Your descriptive writing carried us with you to the country and the pure, simple culture of these lovely people. Like others have asked, please tell us more about these young people.
A friendship sometimes blossoms into love despite all else. Serendipity like this story offers to each a chance to dream and seek and perhaps find that ultimate joy in a mate. The outcomes are always uncertain; life is uncertainty personified. The chance to dream, and to choose to follow the dream, beckon both the man and the woman. You have captured something of that sense of adventure and promise in your story. Very well done!
You have other series here. I agree with the other requests to make this a series.
5 stars!
Nearly all stories have an improbably premis somewhere, and this one was fairly reasonably. The story was believable to me when I remember how naive I was in college. Good work, I'll read the rest of your stuff..
Chilley
Sometimes it's a shame you can't walk down both paths.
Breathtakingly well done, and I would have sacrificed my entire day reading more. Alas, it was just a fabulous hors d'oeuvre. Damn it! It would be criminal not to continue this. Please, please indulge us with a complete tale.
this is a great read but please add a chapter 2 to it
where do that go from here
how does it end
It's almost lyrical.
The exploration of two people is beautifully described.
I look forward to another part.
Please?
73,
HP
The person who gave this two stars and commented, "blah, blah, blah," is a sad, lonely cynic.
I think it's one of the best stories I've read here. I didn't even miss not having more sex. I encourage you to flesh it out, add some chapters, and see where it takes you (us).
Great. Simply great.
Thank you.
You are a good writer hector but you have the ,IMO. fault of never really finishing your storys,you suggest but not put an end to it,pitty really
I give you 4**** for the well written story,it could have been a 5 ***** but .........
Thanks to everyone who commented on the story. I really appreciate it.
Some of you kindly asked how the characters had gotten on. It’s nice to think that they have a certain reality and vitality in your imagination as well as in mine. I wrote an epilogue telling how things played out in my mind. But I’m not sure that they wouldn’t have preferred being left to fend for themselves in yours.
But it's kind of a sad story. He felt not good enough and she basically said he wasn't so moved on to her rich life. I have doubts that rich brings real happiness.
I am failing to see the good story others are seeing. Shitty ending that served no point but to make the entire story pointless. Romance? To go off and live a mediocre life without the person you love? Fuck that. 1*. There had been a nice 4* story building up till the author threw it in the shredder.
Beautifully done and poignant. A continuation or sequel would kill it.
You pointed me here for depth of genuine emotion and the story truly delivered this. The plot connection to The Age of Innocence is compelling. I disagree with those who want a sequel. Part of the the story's message to me is that not everything nice gets one and that everything ends sooner or later. That doesn't need diluting. That is also where I see the philosophical sadness the last commenter remarked on. This story reminded me of my other favourite of yours, Compatible Bedfellows, in that both make the reader aware of the limits to their happiness, though they are wider in the latter. Your reserved telling of their brief, intimate encounter suggests that the narrator is reluctant to allow his emotions to flare up about it, fearing that they will reawaken his pain of bereavement, suppressed by cheerfulness.
There is merit to the idea that not all wisdom is sadness, and though this story is rich with both, I like to think that Hector realised his lot was painful but rescued his happiness by making the best of the hand he was dealt, that he didn't give in to the narrative of having missed the one chance life gave him, that he realises he is not alone because almost everyone alive has fought for happiness (or at least cheerfulness) in the face of loss. I may be projecting my own characters' traits onto Mary Ellen, but I think she wanted to escape a prison and would have needed his confirmation to feel justified in doing so. She needed his complicity in the small crime of breaking (or weakening) her other relationship. It seems that he tacitly declined this last and greatest favour by trying no more after that encounter and left her out in the waste, as Damien Rice puts it in '9 Crimes'. The alternative would have been to go after her without knowing what he was breaking and it is not clear to me that that would have been better. Nor can it have been clear to him. He can hold his head high. And would he have been ready to let her go in turn, if she ever came to find life with him suffocating? My solution might have been polyamory. Or home and holiday ;-) Five stars.
Maybe the two saddest words one could put together. I’ve spent too much time speculating on what might have been if I made what I later thought might have been better choices. The trouble is a different path leads to different mistakes. I think it is wise to view everything as the best opportunity you will ever have then make the most of it. Maybe his life could be very joyful if he spends less time pondering “if only.”
Hi Hector
Thank you for a **Great** 5-star story.
I realize the key phrase in tis story was Mary Ellen's saying: "I thought it might be fun to go with you"
That sentence led to a weekend of bliss for Hector and apparently for Mary Ellen. This is a happy story of a young woman who reached out to a personable, considerate classmate, an acquaintance. That classmate was you, Hector, then a young man who showed himself to be a worthy escort for Mary Ellen for the weekend and who passed muster, with all her elatives and friends, as a (potential) boyfriend .
You, Hector could indeed have been boyfriend material for Mary Ellen if her other had indeed not rejoined her picture.
Mary Ellen and you, Hector, were like two ships, each on its own voyage, in a safe anchorage for two nights before continuing two different but somewhat parallel voyages.
I am grateful for you taking your idea to an outline, then to a first draft, to many numbered drafts and finally to a version that was ready to be proofread and then submitted. We are grateful for all your excellent work.
Overall very sweet; it is also a little sad, and certainly worth five stars.
Sign me "Appreciative in Toronto"
PS: I can understand why you, Hector, having made such a fine impression as Mary Ellen's escrort at Abby's wedding, did not want, or could not bear, being at Mary Ellen's own wedding.
A lovely story, sensual but constrained enough to be realistic. Nice job.
"Oh," she whispered. "Oh. Oh."
Hector, several years ago you wrote a wonderful comment about my Floating World story with Amanda, and I have quoted it several times in AH threads.
For my sins, I never read anything of yours until today. This story is sublime. Such lovely, gentle writing.