All Comments on 'Injured Ch. 01 - Can Brother Heal Them?'
by regularguy13
- 24 Comments
I liked this one. Interesting idea perhaps a bit over laboured the point a few times and it could use a clean up for grammar etc but all round a good effort and nice descriptions
I liked the build up, seemed like it was going somewhere. I hope there is more to this story.
I gave you a 4 assuming there will be another chapter. If there is not another chapter coming it's a 3.
I liked the way you described the characters, and your method if building the story. The buildup of sexual tension was terrific.
I did not like the amount of spelling errors, grammar and punctuation errors, and incorrect word use. It seriously detracts from a story.. Some dusagree, but it is our language. We should try to at least get close.
I agree the Comment of bawsweat, about this story.
I think also that is a healthy manual for boys and girls about sex.
I can`t say anything about grammatical errors, because English is not my native language.
I give a 4 * for your story,
Good Job!
I Liked it but hoped you would have concluded it with his gf back from overseas. unless you plan to add on to this. Maybe big sis gets back and invites the little sisters to play with them to add to their sexual education and exploration.
Good story line how simple help can lead to other more intimate things, however the story seems to be stopped half way, did the girls win the match, did they show their appreciation, did the sister return and make a foursome? these are the important questions that need answer :-)
Thanks for your comments. Can you help me place in this contest???
I'm open to another chapter. In my story "Nude Surprise," I posted chapter 1 and used readers suggestions for the other chapters. I would be glad to do this again. Let me know where the story should go.
I was thinking others might need sports massages. What if his mother or his gf's mother was injured?
You are right, the girlfriend will be returning so is she angry, understanding, open to sharing ...
We need to use the exemption for women on Cheltingham Way. I think Ms. Chen the seventy year-old Chinese woman has possibilities. Is her granddaughter visiting??
I too would like to eliminate errors. If anyone wants to volunteer to be my editor, I would appreciate the help Contact me or leave a note. R
Was Crystal still a virgin? A guy got into her panties and off, but did he FUCK her?
I would like a finish. Also, what a letdown on the blow job. THe girls did not get a lesson as he blew his was soon soon.
Loved the story, but I need more!!!
I can't tell you how much I enjoyed this, cute, well written and just fun to read... Okay maybe a typo or two but it was still fun
Well done...wish there was more!
Looking forward to more!!!!
Hi regularguy13,
Now this was a really good story. It had true meaning and a learning curve. I for one am glad that he did not hump the two girls. Yes I agree a further chapter is necessary, however the learning/teaching theme is quite strong in this story and you may change the entire background of this story by going too far eg. Mrs Chen and or her grand daughter. I will be looking forward to more stories from you.
If you require an editor I would gladly be of assistance to you.
Handyman200
I like the way the story is headed but hope you don't include mothers or other neighbors. Maybe the girls start faking injuries to get him to work on them plus further their sexual experience. You could even stretch it out a few chapters before he actually has intercourse with the girls by him teaching them how to get off and helping. I don't know how you would handle the GF unless it becomes a running joke that the girls are injured again and he needs to help them.
Stories become ridiculous when the one guy is sleeping with the whole family plus the rest of the neighborhood.
had to read 5 pages of him working up to a least fucking one or both then a bullshit and very very disappointing ending!!Girls decide to get nude for massage so they save their panties from being ruined by oil,get him to go naked sticks finger in anuses then nothing Really!
I think there should be a part 2 and both girls should have sex with Curtis and the a morning after pill to stop pregnancy!Hs should fuck crystal, his sister first and then she should help by pushing his dick inside MOLLYs pussy! He should first gently first shave both of them balls and then give them orgasms by eating their beautiful smooth cunts! Then fuckthem both and sleep whole night with both teens naked on either side and when he wakes up with a hard on a repeat of the same with both and then all three in the shower and have naked breakfast!
You really need an editor. “…a known smile.” WRONG! A KNOWING smile. ‘…a week long study aboard program.” Did you mean, study ABROAD program? Or is Misty flying to Greece to board a ship with horny Greek sailors where the only thing she’ll be studying is how to pleasure the crew of whatever ship she’s on? During which she’ll discover how woefully inadequate Curtis is and decide to leave his ass. Two glaring mistakes such as these at the beginning of the story made me not want to waste my time by reading any further. 1 star.
Anonymous from about three months before this: Wow. Don't you think you might be overreacting? Just a little? Two grammatical errors and suddenly she's getting gang-banged and he's "inadequate"? I understand that some people can't get past grammar problems, but everything between "study abroad program" and "two glaring mistakes" was entirely unnecessary. Frankly, even the tone of the remainder was too much. Take a deep breath, let go of your anger, and move on to the next story.
Anonymous from about three years before this: Huh? Where did that come from? I mean, yeah, there's a vague parallel in that the medical provider got a bit intimate with the patient, but this is entirely different. There's no abuse here, just a couple of girls getting some education from someone they can trust.
Psychiee: This was set in 1972. There was no morning after pill. And while Misty is likely to be understanding about what he did, I think your recommendation is probably a bit more than she could forgive. It's also a completely different kind of story than this.
Great story I would love a follow up picking up at the game and continued training with loss of V-cards with both present and enhanced performers on main parts to show them what they need again thanks.
This story should be mandatory reading for all young girls. I've never read a better description of what girls should know before they get involved with sex with anyone. I preached the same information to my own daughter and put her on the pill before she became involved with anyone. She appreciated it and made good decisions as she became a young woman. I have to say it was a sexy read, but in a different way. I wish I could get a hard copy so I could give it to my granddaughter. Thanks for an extraordinary tale.