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Click hereIt said simply, "English Department Ext. 4481. ~F. Collins"
Maybe it was the chill in the air but as I looked at the tidy masculine scrawl I felt my nipples hardening and my lips become very dry. Was tomorrow too soon? Was now too soon? I closed my eyes and saw him again, his lean hips, his massive shoulders, the dark and wild hair that fell in several commas over his forehead and matched the curly tangles from which had jutted his long and pulsing purple headed prick, only this time it wasn't Jessa he had pressed up against the fence in the alley, but me. It was my back he was rubbing as I shuttered and gasped; my hips he grabbed and pulled back against his as my hot wet fluids mingled with his in that last abrupt and all too violent explosion. I walked over to the cold granite bench where Jessa had sat and lay down on it looking up into the branches of the trees. I wanted to feel the cold air against my lower regions, simulating the way it would have felt for Jessa, as her panties were pulled down and her skirt flung up. I looked around to make sure no one was in sight and then, I slowly reached up under my own skirt and pulled my underwear down so that I could feel the hard cold stone against my warm and swelling opening. With another glance around I decided it was secluded enough to through more caution to the wind.
I lifted my own skirt, and kicked my panties off completely letting them lie on the grass. I first let my fingers mingle with my own little pubic hairs and then I went lower to find my own little pink pleasure button.
In less than a minute I felt the quick contraction and felt a fresh flow of liquid pulse out of me and onto the stone bench. I sighed and lay there for a moment, my skirt still up around my waist letting the wind gently bush its invisible fingers over my skin and through the hair mound of my naughty place. When I'd finally come all the way down I sat up, reached across the grass for my panties and, stuffing them into my little handbag, walked in to take a quick bath before crawling under my cozy little pink frilled comforter in my cozy little pink frilled room.
- COMMENTS
You've got a good writing style, just needs a little editing with sentence fragments. The story was interesting. You started en medias res (in the middle) but never came back from the flash back. If you were just trying to make the two characters share a label as an "intruder" (her spying, his b&e) then you should repost this as a voyer story, otherwise, the next chapter needs to introduce who isn't human.
You have a captivating touch with your story-telling. The only thing I could point out as a possible area to work on is that you started this one out with a 'in the present' activity, ie, the guy and his keys to the girl's house - and you never really get back to that.
As a result, it's a good read, but the story comes off as feeling like it was unfinished. If that is the intended effect, then you succeeded marvelously, but if that was not intended... well, there you go. Good job overall, though. I like.
Hey, those of you who liked this. The first book of the novel is availible. It is called "August: A Ghost Story"
Ok maybe I'm a confused blonde but one minute we're in a house the next at a party. Confusing. You're just teasing us huh? I really like it but don't like to be left this way. Great start . . . . so please finish. : )
These are fragments of a larger novel that is still being edited. I will post the whole thing as soon as it's finished. Feel free to tell me what you'd like to see happen next.