proverbialasshole

A few times I comment, an even fewer times I write.

I write strictly fiction, aka non-real stuff. Repeat for emphasis: Nothing of what I write is based on any real events. If anything I write has any semblance to anything real, it is by no intention of mine. Just to clarify.

I write for my own enjoyment.

If you like it, fine.

If you don't, fine.

If you don't know if you like it, fine.

Life is way too short for that $hit.

P.S.: Those 'styling conventions' are an A-bitch. But it is what it is...

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A few words of love.

1) I absolutely luuuv those self-righteous pieces of elephant $hit that creep up like frigging cockroaches and down-vote stories with reconciliation. The cutest thing is that most of them are probably Good-Book-cradling diehard jerk-offs with a higher-than-thou attitude. Which is a funny-as-all-high-hell oxymoron, since said book is all about forgiveness. What a bunch of failed attempts at safe sex from a bunch of terminally unhappy parents - with lousy genes to boot.

2) If your only purpose in literotica is to fap, that's fine with me. However, I'll probably not be too good for you. In some stories maybe, but not in others. Now, if you are one of those fine ppl that hate anything not readily fapable and dismiss them as Harlequin bs, then please get your micro peepee somewhere more fapable than my $hit and pull that miniature Johnson or equivalent to your heart's content. Make it red from friction for all I care. You may end up with a shorter mini-salami or equivalent (if that is humanly possible), but at least it will actually have a use. 'Cause, otherwise, let's be honest here, huh? it probably ain't got any other use whatsoever, right? Wankers.

3) For those in both categories above, in other words one hand cradling the Good Book while the other reduces the length of said mini salami or equivalent due to friction as a result of oscillatory hand motions and all: just being you is punishment enough. The others around you are probably ready to sue your parents for crimes against humanity. You are a living cuss word to anything worthwhile, which by itself can very well be a worthwhile thing. Yet another oxymoron, morons.

4) For those of you that actually are open minded enough to say a few constructive bits of info, or you just appreciate the content and take it for what it is, a pastime, a luxury affordable only on certain places on the planet and not on others, then thanks and cheers. Although I was, am and will always be an amateur, it doesn't hurt to become better with time, or be appreciated for that matter. Being an asshole is not being stupid.

Luv ya all dears; proverbial asshole speaking directly from Uranus. A pretty huge place that smells like you.