Black Magic!

My computer is a real strange thing,
To someone dumb like me.
No matter how hard I try to learn,
Its "Black Magic" to me!

The first thing I do is turn it on,
Quite an accomplishment!
With "Dings" and "Pops" and "Whistles" blowing,
My brain feels like a vent.

When I get a MENU on the screen,
And think "I've got it now!"
A "Buzzer" sounds and words start flashing,
"Error Now," "Error Now!"

When I find and "Click" the inner net,
I find myself "On line."
I hunt and try to find some web sites,
But its a waste of time.

I've tried to use the "Outlook Express,"
I'm told that it's "Easy!"
But despite what I've been told by all,
It just makes me "queasy."

When I've finally got my mail wrote,
I try to send my mail.
But when I click the "Send Button" friends,
Words flash "No Sale," "No Sale!"

It makes me feel like an "Idiot,"
And seems to cast a spell.
My PC makes me feel so stupid,
It can go straight to Hell!!