- Non-Erotic Poetry
- crystal pools of lies
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Click hereblue eyes haunted me
most of my days
in my sleep
at the market
in the rush hour craze.
he came
like a cyclone
of energy
and life
promising eternity
in crystal pools of lies.
when did the dreams
turn into delusions?
when did the vows
become twisted words
of confusion?
he leans over to kiss me
i want to run
before one more lie
leaves me undone.
unravelled like an altar clothe
frayed at the hem,
we'll stitch it with commitment
til he tears it again.
like a worn candelabra
dripping with wax,
or a carefully swung athame
slicing my back.
When will he fail me,
though he promises never?
Crystal pools of lies
will haunt me..
forever.
- COMMENTS
Your ideas and images are so intense, but they seem to call for a more free verse form with the rhyme less obvious. Changes in line breaks would make them appear as echoes within the text, and would enhance your message. Your 'crystal pools of lies' reached me. So poignant.
you may want to consider an alternative ot your line breaks, i.e. (tenatively)
blue eyes haunted me most of my days/
in my sleep, at the market,in the rush/
hour craze, he came....