- Erotic Poetry
- !DARK LOVE
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Click hereI see her first darkly
through skein-nets of trees, she is
a brilliant flash of white
pensive and private, she broods
in the woods the darkling
woods
thinking of the dark
the dark demon of the night
how he comes to her
with dark-bright featherwings
to enfold and restrain
to capture and possess, how she
writhes,
moans and cries out……..wakes in the morning
to an empty bed, how he
haunts her heart spaces
through the sun-filled hours
with his dark hope……..with his
demon grasp
but then . . . .
she sits in a sunny place till her perfect lover comes
to sit quietly with her
and does not touch her
nor writhe nor moan with her
nor delight her body but
sits and says nothing
while her dark bird hovers……..
unseen
yet bright-dark in the world
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- COMMENTS
Through repeatedly using the word dark this rendering takes on a very haunting and moody feeling. Ethereal in it's beauty!
great work! I love the way you use your words. obviously i can't, because i'm not conveying the true feelings i got from reading your words... thoroughly enjoyed it!
good but not up to old standard. Remember trying
to love two isn't easy to do.
me being the poetic creature i like to think myself loved the flowery flow to this poem. very nice.
to capture the imagination of dragon dreamers....must keep this one!!!
tis just perfect!!!! smiles/blue
Many of your words and phrases are quite commonplace,
but your presentation makes them pleasurable in the basic framework within which you present them.
"skein-nets of trees" is a fresh and delightful image making phrase.
You have some good phrases in this poem. If I may make one suggestion: you use dark often in this poem, and yes, I realize that is the theme, but you could possibly give that word more impact by using it less. You could replace a couple of darks with shadow or some other synonym.
For example: the shadow demon of the night
Just a suggestion.