Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click hereWhen I slip my fingers
into his pocket and
fill my palm with
the concealed curve
of muscle there--
sweet flesh, firm
in both laughter
and passion--
I feel leashed
to my maker, and
only occasionally
tread on his heel.
really good! The descriptions are fantastic, the poem has movement. Deserves a 5.
You've done it again. You'll have to stop or else we'll all get complexes about how we don't write nearly good enough! Heh. Really great job again. Mentioned in the thread, OF COURSE. :) Thanks for sharing.
Leave out the ellipses you don't need them to get you point across (dreadful pun unintended!)
the phrasing is a little awkward, very good poem regardless. The second -- could of just went with a comma. The first pause is fine, I just think you could do something better there besides for a "there".