All In or All Out Pt. 01

This is my 3rd story. This one has been edited. Turns out that editing a story takes longer than writing a story. I hope you like it. There is a part two coming.

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It was a beautiful sunny day at the marina in Vero Beach, Florida. I had a group of four women booked today for a six-hour offshore fishing trip. I really hoped that they did not get seasick like the spring breakers yesterday. It took me a full hour to hose down the boat after that group. I had just finished stocking the bait well and prepping the boat with everything needed for the day when I heard the group coming down the pier. Stunned, would be my understatement. All four of these women were lookers. Daisy Dukes, crop tops, skorts, tank tops... you get the picture. I'd have to struggle to keep my eyes off their assets all day. Oh well, there are tougher jobs in life, I guess. I'll just have to suffer through I thought with a big smile.

Once out to sea, one of the ladies and I struck up a conversation. The other ladies had started in on the cooler of drinks they brought and had stripped down to their swimsuits to get started on a good tan. I hope they don't get too burned. All of them were from the mid-west, so they were pretty white, being it was only March.

"So, Skip...," that is me, Skip Lance, owner and operator of "Good Times" fishing charters, "How did you get started in the fishing business?"

"Well, that is quite a long story," I said. "But if you really want to hear it, I guess we have about another hour till we get out to the reef where the fish should be biting today."

"Ladies, gather around! Skip is about to tell us a story about how he got into the fishing business. Something about the look I just saw on his face makes me think that we are going to really enjoy hearing this!" The ladies all gathered at the helm and made themselves comfortable.

"Two years ago, I was a happily married man," I said. "At least I thought I was. It turns out that my wife wasn't as happy as I was. We had been married for 16 years. I had a good job running an electrical contracting business for the owner and my wife was a stay-at-home mom. We had agreed before getting married that if there was any way possible when we had kids, she would stay home and raise them. We were on the same page with this. I thought everything was going great and that life was good. I had just won a major project that would double the company's revenue. I had also won a lawsuit against a competitor that infringed on our territory recently guaranteeing continued exclusivity in our territory and had been rewarded by the owner with a new company car. A Lexus 350! The car I had been wanting for years.

"Two years earlier, my boss had given me a membership to the Madison Club as a bonus. It was an exclusive members-only club that was way out of reach for the average Joe. I didn't use the golf course, pool, or tennis courts, but once a week my wife and I would have a date night without the kids to have a nice quiet dinner and connect. All paid for by the company! My wife would occasionally take our kids to the pool, so we loved the perk. My kids are 15 and 12 now. But I haven't seen them in almost two years." At this point, one of the ladies broke in.

"Wait... you haven't seen your kids in two years?"

"Nope," I responded. "But let me get my whole story out and then you can all tell me what an idiot I am. Ok, so back to my story. I had just walked in the door Friday afternoon and called out to my wife, "Hey babe, let me get a quick shower and I'll be ready to go to the club, I'm so looking forward to our date night."

"I set my stuff on the kitchen counter and glanced over at my wife. She was standing stiffly behind the couch in the living room and had a very nervous look on her face. It was odd that she was not sitting in her reading chair like usual. It kinda felt like she wanted an object between us. I then noticed that I could not hear the kids in the house, so I asked her where the kids were and when the babysitter was going to arrive.

"Sky," that is my ex's name, "said that she had taken them to her parent's house for the weekend and then blurted out, "I want a divorce".

"I stood there stunned. Did I hear her right? Had she really just said that she wanted a divorce? Where did this come from? I thought everything was going fine. We were in love, at least I was, had a good life, had a nice upper-middle-class life with good kids in private school and new cars. We went to church every Sunday and she sang in the choir. I had no idea that things were not good. The only argument that we ever had was about how much time I spent at work.

"Let me explain this a little more so you will understand. I had taken to going to work at 8 am every morning after spending time having coffee with my wife. I made it a priority to be home every evening at 5:30 for dinner with the family. Sky always made a nice meal and we would all sit at the kitchen table to eat and talk about our day. Then after playing with the kids, talking to my wife, helping with dishes, and other household duties, I would kiss my wife goodnight and go back to work around 9 pm about 4 nights a week. I would come home at 2 in the morning and sleep for 4 hours and then do it again. I just didn't need that much sleep. And I had a lot of work to do!

"I always went in on Sunday night to get a jump on the week and then depending on what was going on, I would go back to work another three nights a week. And yes, I can hear what you are thinking... I actually went back to work. I was the only one there most nights. Occasionally an electrician would stop by the shop to pick up a part since we had after-hours emergency service. But most nights I was alone at my desk working. I would be reviewing estimates, scheduling electricians, working on financials and everything else it takes to manage the shop. My wife even called me once in a while on the desk phone. Sky had complained many times about how much she didn't want me to go back to the office at night. But I hadn't really thought that it was "that" big of a deal.

"After all, I was working hard to provide a nice life and secure my family's future. We had our kid's college tuition coming up in a few years and I was saving a good bit of my paycheck each month for when we could finally retire. All my hard work was for us! Then she hit me with another blow that literally took the breath out of me.

"I have met someone else, and we are going to get married as soon as our divorce is final," Sky said.

"With that, I had to grab onto the counter to stop my knees from giving out. I think I stuttered something like... "What... you're having an affair... have you slept with him yet?"

"Sky just stood there staring at me with tears in her eyes. I took her reaction as a "yes".

"At this point, my mind was on overload, and couldn't put together a coherent thought. I had a million questions but didn't want to go ballistic on her, so I didn't say anything and slowly walked to the bedroom to change. When I went back downstairs, she was still in the living room waiting for me. All I could think to say was, "Ok, tell me everything."

"I don't remember most of what she said because my brain was fried. I felt completely blindsided and in a fog. What I do remember was that she had met the guy at the club when she took the kids to the pool one day. He was there with his 2 kids, who were about the same age as ours. They struck up a conversation and it had progressed from there. She said that she talked to him more than me lately since I was "always" at work. He had been to the house and the kids liked him. He is married but is having the same conversation with his wife at this very moment. Yada, yada, yada.

"At some point, I realized that I was crying. My world had just exploded. I felt like a bomb had gone off in my head. Sky was crying and telling me that she had not meant for it to happen, that she had tried to get me to cut back at work to spend time with her, and that she was not going to live the next 20 years with a part-time husband whom she hardly saw, even if we had a good life.

"They were using the same attorney and had the papers already, so I could see them as soon as I wanted, but she planned to give them to me tomorrow, as she could see that I was in shock as she assumed I would be. At some point, I went back upstairs and went to bed in the spare bedroom. She came into the bedroom and said something that, to this day, I still don't understand. Maybe one of you ladies can tell me because I don't think like a woman.

"She said, "What are you doing Skip, we are still married, we can still sleep in the same bed until we get divorced." I just looked at her, gently led her out of the room, and then closed and locked the door."

"Wow!" one of the ladies said. "That must have been really hard on you. She must have been having serious second thoughts if she still wanted you in her bed. Maybe she was still on the fence." I looked over at her and I guess my story had touched her because she had tears running down her cheeks.

"The next morning, I went down to get a coffee and my wife was already up and sitting in her chair."

"Morning," Sky said. Did you sleep much?"

"I just got my coffee and sat across from her. "So how do you see this going down," I asked. "Is there no hope for us? How about counseling? What if I never go to work at night again? I'll quit my job and do something else! You know I'm always getting calls from other contractors in town. I can easily find another job!" My wife looked like she had not slept much either and was having trouble keeping eye contact. I was staring straight into her eyes."

"Sky told me that it was too late for that. She had tried to talk to me about this many times and I always just brushed her feelings aside. She had made up her mind, and even though this was the toughest thing that she had ever had to do, she was not going to go back on her decision.

"At this point, she pushed the divorce papers across the coffee table and said that I should read them and then we could talk again. I just sat there staring at her, wondering how she could be doing this to me, to us, to the kids. How had I been so clueless? Why didn't I see the flashing red signs? Who was this guy? Did I know him? Did I know his wife? The old phrase, "the husband is the last to know" went through my mind. Wasn't that the truth? I hadn't seen anything that made me think she was having an affair. Did my family and friends already know?"

"Wait, I thought. Sky had said that she had already slept with him. Well, she didn't actually say it, but her silence spoke volumes. So, I asked, "Where did you have sex with him Sky? Was it in our house?" I know. Of all the questions to ask at this moment, that was top on my mind. She just sat there looking at the coffee table, which I assumed was a "yes".

"At this revelation, I saw red. I was never angrier in my life. Here I was, out busting my ass for my family and my dear wife had met a man at the club, that I had earned for us, fell in love with him, brought him home to our house, and had sex with him in my bed probably. I realized, at that moment, that I would never forgive her or trust her again. My love for her died in that instant. My thoughts all night of trying to win her back burned up in a flash.

"I took the papers and stomped off to my office to read them. Sky came and stood at the door softly crying. "Skip, I am truly sorry, this is so hard on me, it just happened, and I don't want to live like this anymore. I needed to tell you and reveal this huge secret to you. We have always been committed to being 100% honest with each other. Not telling you has been eating me up inside. I tried to be as fair as possible in the divorce. You will have to pay some child support and maintenance. After all, we have been married for 16 years and I deserve something. The kids and I will stay in the house until I get remarried. Then we will sell the house and the kids and I will move in with my new husband. I will get full custody of the kids, especially since I have been a stay-at-home mom, but you will have very liberal access to them. You can see them anytime you want."

"At this, I stood up and shouted, "NO!" I couldn't take it anymore. I yelled at her at the top of my voice, "Get the hell away from me you cheating bitch!" She ran away crying. I just sat there trying to read the divorce papers but mainly dripped tears on the divorce papers. My happy life had been ripped from me just like that.

"I sat in the den for most of the morning and finally managed to read through the papers. It was as she said. I was to pay her $1,000 per month per kid in child support. Another $1,500 a month in maintenance and would have to move out and find my own place. Even though I made good money, paying her $3,500 was about 70 percent of what I brought home each month. And, I would not get to see the kids every day. I'd now be the weekend Dad.

"As I sat there contemplating what I was going to do... I remembered a conversation I had with a buddy a few years back. He had just gone through a nasty divorce where he had been taken to the cleaners. It was about a year later when he was crying in his beer to me about how life sucked. He had no money. Had to give it all to the ex each month. He didn't even have enough money to take the kids to a movie if he also wanted to eat. The kids were bored just sitting in his small apartment with not a lot to do each visit."

"His wife was remarried and was living the high life. She had just bought a new car and was seen at all the high-priced restaurants in town with her new husband. Obviously they were not hurting for money. We had gotten into a discussion about the whole "no-fault" divorce thing. What a crock of shit that is. We guessed that in at least 95 percent of divorces, someone was most definitely "at fault". It was just too hard for the courts to make rulings to determine who was at fault, so they took the lazy way out and created the "no-fault" status. And then they put some cockamamie scale in place that determined who paid who and how much. It was all just a calculation on a chart now. The well-being of the kids was the most important factor in their ruling. So, they said. Whoever got the kids, almost always the mom would get the house and the money. The husband would be sent packing, expected to pay up, and supposed to be happy with the amount of time he was allotted to spend with the kids."

"The thing is, we talked about the fact that when parents divorce, it has forever effects on the kids. It changes their worldview. The kids are torn between the parents, even if it is a rather painless divorce if there is such a thing. They end up having their security torn out from under them, they don't know how to act around each parent when the other is not around, and they are ashamed when their friends learn of their parent's splitting. And that is just some of the things that happen to them if their parents aren't fighting, trying to get revenge, angry, hurt, sad, and all the other things that can go along with a divorce. I then had an epiphany. This was not going to happen to me! If she wanted a divorce, then she would get one. But there would be no Skip anymore. It was an all-or-nothing deal for me. You want a divorce, then I'm gone, you get nothing from me, ever again.

"I was the most loyal and loving husband since we got married. Everything I did was for my family. I put all my personal needs way at the end of the priority list. I was essentially "all in." And now I was going to be "all out." This 50/50 split thing... this, who gets the kids and when thing... this everlasting pain thing... not gonna happen. You want a divorce? You don't love me anymore? Fine! You can have it all! But you get none of me, ever again!

"With that, I signed the divorce papers and went to find Sky. She had taken a shower and was doing laundry. I told her I had signed the papers and would start packing. She just looked at me with a confused expression on her face. I don't know if she expected me to fight for her or what, but she just stood there with her mouth hanging open.

"When she finally found her wits she said, "That was fast Skip, I didn't expect you to agree so fast. Can we talk for a minute?"

"I said, "Sure, let's go to the kitchen." Once there, she wanted to talk about when I wanted to see the kids and where was I going to live."

"I simply said that I did not know where I was going to live and that I didn't need to see the kids. My statement made Sky physically react like I had slapped her.

"What do you mean you don't need to see the kids? You love them. You can't be serious. You can see them anytime you want, I would never stop you from seeing them. And, besides, they still need you to be their father."

"I looked at her, with no expression on my face, and said, "Let me explain my view on divorce and marriage. When we got married, I gave you everything I had. My name, my time, my money, my love, my everything. Everything I did was for you, and when we had kids, for them too. I was "ALL in". Now that you don't want me anymore, I am "ALL out". Not "part in" and "part out.' You don't want me anymore... then you don't get parts of me... you get none of me. You already have my replacement lined up. He can be their dad. I don't need to be confusing them as a part-time dad."

"Sky sat there crying looking at me with a bewildered look on her face. "That is not how it works Skip, you just can't not be their dad anymore."

"I said, "Watch me" and went to start packing."

"When I packed up my stuff, I left most of the "things" that don't mean anything anyway, left my wedding ring on the bathroom counter, and started loading my car. At some point, Sky came and told me that when I came to my senses to give her a call. She said that I was obviously in shock and that I would change my mind once I was able to think clearly. I just said "Ok," got in my car, and drove off.

"And that was the last time I saw or spoke to her, or the kids. Since I signed the divorce papers, I assume that I am not married anymore, and she has now married her new man.

"I have always had this dream of retiring on the ocean somewhere and running a little charter fishing service. So, I drove south that day two years ago and left everything behind. I only took $10,000 out of our savings account. I basically left her everything. The house, her car, all the possessions, the bank accounts, the bills, and the kids. I quit my job over the phone as I drove south, not really knowing where I was going to end up. But eventually, about two weeks later I was eating breakfast at a small diner and saw an ad pinned to the wall for a fishing charter business that was for sale.

"I called the guy, found out that he was hanging it up after twenty-five years, and asked if we could meet. Wound up meeting him the very next day and we easily worked out a deal for me to buy him out over time. He would leave everything that he had built up in the business. I would buy the boat, the tackle, the slip lease, the website, the bank account, the business name, everything. He would teach me how to operate the boat and teach me where the good fishing was during each season for a period of one year, and then it was all mine.

"I learned the business with him that first year and now I make payments each week. He gets a percentage of every charter I take. That is our deal. Oh, he takes his friends out fishing once in a while when I don't have a charter on my/his boat and gets about $1,500 a week from me. We have a handshake deal that after 10 years I'll then be 100% owner of the operation and the payments will stop.

"And that is my story."

The women sat there and silently stared at me like I was from another planet. Mouths hanging open. When they finally came to... they all started firing questions at me.