All Comments on 'Archaeology Research Yields Ch. 01'
by weswayland
- 16 Comments
Well done. I'd slow down the pace a bit now that you've established the characters and the basic story. Let's see him fine-tune his abilities, explore the book more fully, and really build his partner into a perfectly obedient sex toy.
Like the start and am waiting to see further development. hodunk
shows potential for a good series, now that he knows it works i think it is time to develop skills and perfect his power, keeping it to himself until it is time to go out and change things for the better or even let him become a dark power threatening the well being - i would like to see him become a very intense power for good or bad. Well written and easy to read - keep it going.
Good story. I can definitely see the potential for a long series here.
Very enjoyable. I liked that Katie got into it so quickly and even took some initiative. Since she knows her body is not perfect, I can see her eventually realizing that she needs to recruit some young hotties for him to make sure that he is serviced by only the best.
I agree with the others. This is a good start, I would like to see him develop his powers and abilities. Maybe have a little angst about what he is doing and with whom. But you have it going in the right direction.
my only issue was with how this part ended...if he can implant thoughts, how did he make her cum so many times?
other than that little part, i loved the rest! and would DEF love to see a long series of this!
Exalent start . It's short I love 5 page story's that go on for ever 20 plus chapters . Keep up the good work and ill be looking for more from u thx
I like where this story is heading... but I would have liked it more if the girl was like" wow I have never done anything like this before how exciting". Instead of just being like ohh I must suck his dick. but other than that I really liked the set up and the book of spells part:D and would love to see the consequences of such spells!!