- Incest/Taboo
- Camgirl Exposed
- Comments
All Comments on 'Camgirl Exposed'
by Dadbodboi
- 10 Comments
sounds like a B/S story it's very hard to make sense of your writing it needs work on the writing
One plot,, 3 stories, everybody had everybody, heterosexually, not interesting, and considering how adolescent the wrong is, it wasn't good, at all.
'Is sat on her knees' not the first time .
Disturbingly incorrect, perhaps you could try is sitting ?
'Sees her brother stood by the door' again, tense error. Perhaps standing ? By tense I am referring to Present, Past and Future.
'coating the cocktail with her saliva thickly.' Perhaps this could have been thickly coating the cocktail with her saliva.
There were more BUT I think I have awakened you to something easily corrected.
Proof read, edit, become a smoother, more comfortably read author.
My only question is, will he become party to the income?
VERY similar to other stories. Not horrible per se, but nothing really of interest. Try again.
Hi, everyone. Thanks for reading. Check out my other stories, which are all connected so far, following George, Lucy, Frankie, and Craig through their lives. Reading order for those interested is: Power Outage, Camgirl Exposed, Camgirl Collab, Alone: A Mother With Son, Alone: A Woman With Dad, Freak on a Leash.
Very nice. Very sexy and exciting. It certainly got me 'going' (or cumming)!
Please check out my stories, I think you'll like them. Please rate and more importantly please please please comment on them. thanks