Controling Grace

"I'm not judging you, Christ you're an adult! You can look at whatever you want, it's just that ...well, I was worried - is everything alright with us?"

She at last looked at me. And I could see tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry John. Oh God I'm so ashamed," she covered her face in her hands and sobbed.

I moved across to her and hugged her. "Hey, it's okay, don't cry. Like I said, I was just worried. I thought maybe you were trying to find someone else, that you didn't love me anymore," I said gently, trying to calm her down.

She turned to me and her face was wet with tears, her bottom lip trembled. "No ... no, it's not like that. I do love you. I was just...Oh I don't know. I was just talking to people."

"But why look at those kinds of sites? What's with all the bondage and kinky stuff?" I really needed to know what she was looking for. She turned away and I tried to gently pull her face back to me.

"No please don't. I'll tell you, but I can't speak about it with you looking at me – it's....it's just too embarrassing, "she was finally getting some control of her crying. I released her and sat back. She was quiet for a long time so I waited, I didn't want to pressure her, and I would let her tell me in her own way.
"I've always had feelings about... Oh God this is so awkward" she said and then stopped; she took a breath and tried again "I've always had fantasies about....about being dominated. I never told you because I thought you would think I was sick or something," she said.

"No never, I would never think that," I stroked her back, trying to reassure her.

"Please, just let me talk," she insisted, so I shut up; I could see this was hard for her - sharing her private thoughts. She took a deep breath and continued, "It started when I was a teenager. I fantasized about being controlled, being made to do things, things that I didn't like. Of course I never did anything about it, it was all just fantasy. Then a few weeks ago I heard from somewhere- I can't remember where, about sites on the internet. I knew you could see pornography and things but it had never occurred to me that I .....Well I decided to look, and it was there, my fantasy. I realized I wasn't alone, other people shared my desires."

"Why didn't you tell me? I would have understood, maybe I could have helped you," I couldn't stop myself from interrupting.

"Please John, don't. I didn't need help, and I couldn't tell you," she now turned and looked me in the eyes, "I love you so much. It may have been okay if I'd told you straight away, but the longer it went on the harder it was. Anyway there was nothing to tell, it was all just thoughts, just fantasy. It wasn't until I saw the things on the internet that I actually did anything about it," she explained. I put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her to me, she rested her head on my chest and in a quiet voice she continued. "An advert for a chat room popped up one day. I realized then that I could actually speak to other people who shared my fantasies, they were strangers and I could say whatever I wanted and no one would even know it was me. So that's what I did, I spoke to people. I'm sorry if I've deceived you, I never wanted to hurt you. Please believe me, it was all just harmless fun, I never intended to go any further I swear. I love you too much."

I kissed the top of her head. There was something she wasn't telling me, I could hear it in her voice. "What happened Gracie? What changed? "

Again she looked me in the eye, and the tears welled up again. "I'm so sorry. There...there was a couple, Ian and Clair. We chatted, we chatted a few times."

"And?" I asked, I didn't like where this was going.

"Well we chatted some more, they told me they were both Doms, I said I was submissive, and..... Well they asked me if I would agree to become their cyber slave."

"What did you say to them? Have... have you met them yet, this couple? What's a cyber-slave anyway?" I felt myself starting to panic, I dreaded her answer. But I had to know.

"No, no, a cyber-slave is just that: it's all done over the internet," she said. She had stopped crying now and spoke calmly as if she were explaining something simple to a child.

"So you haven't actually met them? You haven't been with anyone else?" I pressed.

"Oh God no! We talked is all," she answered as if I were accusing her of murder.

I was so relieved I thought I would cry. "Thank heaven. I thought you were seeing someone else," I pulled her to me, hugging her.

Grace gently pulled away and she averted her eyes again. "There is one thing though .... I haven't met them, but, I did agree to their proposal. I think it's what I've always wanted, what I've always needed,"

"What! You agreed to be their slave? What the fuck were you thinking of?" I was really upset that she would be involved in something like this. I didn't even want her talking to these people let alone becoming their slave, even if it was just pretend. But she had already gone behind my back and I was scared now that if I forbade her she might do so again. And I knew I couldn't handle that "So what exactly have you agreed to?" I wanted to know.

She shrugged as if it was nothing and turned away from me again. "That I become their slave. They give me commands online and I obey them," she said.

"So you don't actually have to do anything? You could just say you did whatever they told you?" I asked.

"I could, but there wouldn't be much point to being a slave then would there? No John, I agreed. Where would I be if I just kept pretending every time I was told to do something I didn't like? "She seemed to be more at home talking about things now. I could understand her point of view but I was still very concerned.

"I'm not really comfortable with all this. Why didn't you ask me?" I said.

"Would you have given me you're consent?" she asked.

"No that's not what I mean. Why didn't you ask me to have you as my slave?" I tried again.

"Oh God, if it were only that simple. I would love to say I wanted to be your slave. In fact I really would like to be your slave, but that's not what I need. If I were your slave I would obey you because I love you. But I need to feel I'm being forced. The less I like my masters the bigger the turn on when I have to obey them," she was talking now as if what she had done was the most normal thing in the world.

"So what do you plan to do now?" I asked her.

She took hold of my hands "Do you want me to give them up?" she enquired.

I thought for a few seconds. If I gave her my consent, I feared I might lose her. But if I refused her, I still risked losing her. I was in a no win situation "I don't want you doing this," I told her simply. She looked sadly down at her lap and nodded slowly.

"Okay, I'll e-mail them tomorrow, "she said.

She stood up and without a word she left the room. I felt as if something valuable was lost to us. I had forced her to do something and I thought of how ironic it was that this problem started because she was seeking people to force her to do things.

The following morning I was walking on eggshells, it was Grace who had caused all the uncertainty but I was the one feeling guilty. I knew she had done wrong, but I loved her so much I felt I should forgive her anything. Our relationship was a bit strained in the days that followed. Grace acted normally, but I tiptoed around her. I didn't want to risk driving her back to Ian and Clair. But I needn't have concerned myself, because she had never broken contact with them.
After what she had already done I couldn't help but remain suspicious and I constantly checked the computer, and a week later I found an email from Master Ian ordering Grace to shave her body from the neck down.
I was upset but I didn't say anything to her; instead I decided to wait a couple days to see if she obeyed him. We were undressing for bed and I helped to remove her underwear, I looked to see that her pussy was shaved clean.

"You look sexy like that," I told her. My voice was flat and I felt somehow defeated.

I watched as she put her hands on her hips and gyrated sexily. "Do I?" She purred.

"Yes, you do, whose idea was it?" I asked.

"W...What do you mean," suddenly she looked and sounded nervous.

I sat dejectedly on the bed and looked up at my wife "Was it Ian?" I said and Grace seemed to visibly crumble.

"Oh God I'm sorry. I tried, I swear I did. I e-mailed them to say I wouldn't contact them anymore, but they just told me I had to obey them. I'm so sorry, I can't resist them, and I'm weak. I don't know what to do, please help me. I can't stop myself," she was in tears again but I was no longer sure whether they were real and I didn't trust myself to discuss it calmly anymore.

I slept in the spare room that night. We talked again the following day and Grace promised again that she would stop but I didn't think she really meant it. And after some time I made a decision that I hoped I wouldn't live to regret.
We sat on the sofa; I held Grace's hands in my own and looked into her eyes. "I'm not happy about all this, but I can understand it really means a lot to you. I love you and I'm not going to risk losing you by giving you an ultimatum." I paused and drew a breath," so, I will agree to let you have your way, you can be the slave of these people, but I want to be a part of it" she looked up at me and I continued "I want to be there with you, I want to understand what it's all about. I'll try not to interfere. I just want you to be safe, let me handle this with you, please?"

That evening we entered the small room that we called an office. I booted up the computer and turned to see Grace undressing, "I have to be naked whenever I contact them" she explained casually.

I shrugged, accepting that it would be one of the first commands any master gave a slave. She sat beside me and I thought about how sexy she looked: sitting there naked, and how aroused I had suddenly become. Grace opened her e-mail account and typed a message explaining my request. We waited in silence for a reply. Thirty minutes later it arrived.

Re. slavery.
Clair Sampson.
To Slut Slave.

Slave, I wonder whether you are worth the effort we are making to train you.
Your husband was never a part of our requirements.
You're only concern is to please us. Our only reason to even know you is to use you for our pleasure.
But, there are things we may require of you that cannot be accomplished by one person alone.
So, bearing that in mind we have decided to allow your request, but under our conditions.
You will still obey every order given to you and accept any punishment we deem necessary.
Your husband is not to interfere with anything we decide for you.
If he wants to take an active part in your subjugation he must agree to do what we tell him to do, and only what we tell him. Otherwise he may observe only.
If this not agreeable to you both, then sign off now and never contact us again.
You have until eight o'clock this evening to answer.

It was only five minutes to the deadline. Grace looked at me, she didn't speak, she didn't need to, I knew what she wanted. "Okay Grace. I'll do it. I agree." She smiled a huge smile and her eager fingers flew over the keyboard typing our acceptance.
I hoped desperately that I had done the right thing.