Crown of Thorns Pt. 02

I'm not going to lie, what she did to me wasn't all negative. But I didn't choose this. I didn't agree this.

I look in the mirror and I don't recognise myself. Just under two years ago I was pretty chunky and got out of breath running upstairs. Now I'm ripped. I have abs! I have pecs! I have a smaller waist than when I was a teenager and way better groomed. Currently I'm stood naked looking in a full length mirror, the giant bed in her mansions master bedroom visible in the reflection. She is behind me, hands feeling my toned musculature and giving me a hand job. I can feel her nibbling and biting my shoulder, savouring my taste like a cat licking its prey to death. She steps in front on me places her hands on the mirror and arches her back. I know what she wants. I know she wants it hard and to fill her. A passionate morning encounter. I'm not a mind reader, I don't need to be. While I did my morning workout she gave me a raging hard on. So swollen it's painful. A summons so to speak. When I got to the bedroom she pulled my shorts down and whipped my t shirt off. She tasted my skin like its covered in salted caramel and grabbed the part of me she craves.

My swollen corona pushes her lips open. Her eyes close, her mouth gapes, her hips rock back to maximise the fullness. This is where I sometimes forget what she has done to me. I cant help but be thrilled as I see her body open. See the pink wet flesh dilate and blanch as it stretches around me. Feel her heat and wetness surround me. My hand massages her labia putting pressure on her bud. Gently I pull her hair accentuating the arched back. Her moan is loud and her knees weaken. My orgasm is not near. I want to carry on fucking and empty myself into her vagina. But I sense she wants to finish. This is the problem with what she did to me. She wants me to be her perfect man, her fuck toy, and her puppy dog. So which one does she want right now?

Last time I hit this indecision she lost patience. She pulled off my dick and told me that if all I can be is a flesh dildo then why should I get to ejaculate. She stopped me from orgasming for three weeks but made sure to get her cock fix as much as possible.

I make a quick choice. I lift her to the bed. I feel a complaint coming. But my instinct says if I back out I will be punished. Her ass is raised, her face in the pillow. I use her pussy as I want and orgasm as deep inside as her body will permit.

She heads to the shower and I panic. Did I do it right? Was it enough? What she wanted? I know this isn't how relationships should work. I shouldn't be this afraid of her. I calm myself and breathe deeply. I look down I can see her cream layered thick on my dick. I head for the shower.

At work later I'm chatting with Jenna. She is gorgeous. Before I would be chatting to her tits and hoped to see her knicker line as she walked around. Quite a few times I wanked with a vision of her ass clear in my mind. Now she is flirting with me. Her hand occasionally tapping my chest. A day dream of Jenna dropping her knickers and rubbing her moist pussy over my flaccid cock pops into my mind. My dick doesn't even twitch. Then there's a look of extreme disappointment in her eyes and the day dream dissipates. I continue chatting not reciprocating her touch. I don't want to encourage her. I think somehow the woman in the office know. They are friendlier, chattier, even flirtier. It's like they know I can't do anything. A secret scent mark tuned to the female nostrils that says this man is tamed and safe.

My friends and work colleagues can't believe the change in me. They say she is the best thing that ever happened to me. I look so much healthier and happy. I try and rationalise our relationship.

1. I'm healthier and better looking

2. I'm better at work and got promoted

3. My confidence has increased

4. I spend more time with my friends

5. I live in a huge house with an awesome car

6. I have money and finance

7. I have more sex than I ever thought

8. I get blowjobs

9. Iv had anal sex

10. Had the best sex in my life

But also.

11. I'm afraid of her

12. She stole my dick

It was about three months after she stole my cock from me that I gained access to her laptop. She is the smartest person but somehow she had forgotten to lock it. I found the design for what is embedded in my dick and perineum. I also found a stack of porn. Videos revealing her fantasies. This wasn't the free hardcore stuff. This was expensive, purchased. What she desired. It took a while to perfect my technique to read her body language and equate what fantasy she was in. It was my salvation. My road map to erection freedom. I learned her labia and clit hood. I learned her breasts and her nipples. I learned feet, toes, thighs, calves, buttocks, wrists, neck and lips. I learned how deep my finger needs to be and how much friction her she needs. How much pressure to apply with my lips, and tongue. How hard to bite or when not to. After six months her labia would slide over my fingers like wet putty as she humped my fingers like a cock. When she did fuck me I was a human dildo. It took nine long months to get it right. To be what she wanted when she wanted.

She asked me recently what my fantasies are. Hers are clear, it's my cock. Her hands whenever idle find my crotch and start to play. As I walk by her I find my fly being undone and the flesh that was concealed released, tasted, and savoured. My scent inhaled and salivated on. I paused, fearful of her reaction. My instinct is a threesome two women, fucking and cumming in them, on there faces and breasts. But an alarm rings in my consciousness and identifies that if I say threesome she will want a second guy. That's not my fantasy. I think fetish dressing or light bondage but again I know she will take charge and I'll be the one spanked and fucked. I say anal and she agrees. We fuck and then she pulls some lube from a drawer and coats her anus, my head and shaft. It's tight so tight. I can hear her whimper and feel her wince as I push into her. I'm excited by her pain.

A rush of hate, anger, fury and desire pulse within me and I grab her hips and start thrusting. I give her ass everything I can. I know it's hurting her and it thrills me. Those long days, weeks, months of her controlling me, using me. She is pushing her hand back to slow me down and not thrust so deep. I try harder giving everything, and then she cums. She cums! She fucking cums! Her hand is a blur over her clit. My anger evaporates. She took control again. She turned my fury and anger into her own orgasm fodder. Devouring it, consuming it and converting it to pure pussy heat. She feels my body lose energy and she pulls her ass off me and winces. She cleans my dick with a cloth and then envelopes it in her favourite orifice and tongues me. Her kisses are pure passion. We cum, like I have a choice, together and she falls asleep.

What's so bad about being owned? I rationalise as she snores gently. I just had passionate anal sex for the first time. We came passionately together. How is it bad? Sure she controlled my cum but it allowed me to last longer, to give everything without risk of getting too excited too soon. I know in the morning I can nestle my fingers between her legs and finger her awake. I know that we will spoon and she will head to breakfast with her body full of my semen. How many couples can say that. She wants me to be a man. Her man. Strong, passionate, independent. She wants me to take the lead. Tonight was her leading me to a fantasy experience. I should surprise her with another. What does she want? Actually it's clear what she wants. She wants a real man with my cock. But not any man. Her ideals of what a man should be, it's not like any man I know. The learning curve is hard.

Everything she has done is to make me a better man. That's what she tells me. When she switches my cock off or prevents me from ejaculating. She is teaching me to be more cognisant and use my other senses to understand her. She caught me wanking while looking at porn a few weeks ago. A woman with an x rated figure swallowing a cock with every opening in her body. Sperm layered thick over her face. She was furious with me. It was like I was having an affair. Hot angry eyes told me that I had to learn to respect her and that secret fantasies showed a deep betrayal. She looped the video and set my cock to cum every 5 minutes for three hours. On the fifth ejaculate my prostate was pumping air and I was dry orgasming. When she came back and stopped my dick I was covered in dry flaked seamen, sweat, dehydrated and exhausted. She gave me a rehydration drink and told me this would happen every time I tried to get off without her.

She then replayed the clip where the voluptuous nymph licked nibbled and sucked a cock. She recreated the actions on my very tender and exhausted cock. It was so painful after ejaculating 32 times over the last three hours that tears rolled down my face and I whimpered. What I learned is never go behind her back and I have to discuss fantasies, porn, everything with her. Imagine it, your horny and you want to watch porn. So instead of wanking to internet porn you ask your girl friend to watch it with you. Or if you are curious to see pegging, you watch it with your girl friend. If you are curious about what a girl looks like deep throating, fisting, face drenched in semen, bondage, latex, anything you have to discuss it and watch the porn with your girlfriend. It doesn't feel natural. It feels uncomfortable, very uncomfortable and scary. Too revealing. I feel exposed by openly discussing my fantasies, like going to confession.

And this is where I get confused again. I've been forced to address my objectification, expose my fantasies. My carnal desires. To change them into shared fantasies that one day could be real. By sharing mine she shares hers. As she shares her fantasies I become connected to her through the intimacy, and a little aroused. I'm controlled and forced to become better. Is she good for me? Am I better? Is this healthy? Do I lover her? I'm so scared of her.

The next night I try and take control I'm on top of her holding her hands above her head so she can't touch me. My other hand free to roam as my hips bounce on hers. I visualise Gemma from work and want to cum thinking of her. But I can't. I turn her over and I mount her doggy style. I know she loves how deep this feels. But I'm still not allowed to cum. I turn her on to her back. She is out of breath from climaxing. Then I see what she wants. I grind my pelvis slow and rhythmic into hers. I kiss her deep and long. My arms hold her tight. I cum with hers echoing in my ear. She is and will always be in control.

At work the next day Mona is talking to me. Leaning over me and a little too close. I can smell everything she decorates her body with. The shampoo, the deodorant, the perfume. The slight sweat from the heat in the office. She is delicious. I can see down her top and a day fantasy rages with my cock nestled in her tits and me cumming all over them and her bee sting lips. My cock doesn't move. Paralysed by a girlfriend and reinforced by nearly two years of control. Mona keeps eye contact a fraction too long before heading back to her desk. My heart races like a stallion wanting to fuck a mare. My dick reminds me a don't have choices. In the bar later Mona flirts with me more. The guys are teasing me telling me that now I'm shredded the girls in the office are leaving wet sticky trails whenever they pass my desk. It's like theres a snail infestation. I want to fuck her. I can see she wants to fuck me. I can smell she wants to fuck me. I think through my options. I could kiss her, even finger her. I know I can melt Mona with my fingers because of her. I can turn any woman into a sticky mess because of her. Mona is flirting with me because of her. Mona wants to fuck me because of the man she has forced me to become. I flirt with Mona, I have fun making her squirmy. Then I leave. I go home and fuck her. I tell her about my daydream. I fuck her like I wanted to fuck Mona. I make her squirm and whimper like i wanted Mona to do. I cum on her tits and lips like I wanted to do on Mona. I feel the intimacy, the shared fantasy. But most of all I can see her satisfaction.

I don't know where this relationship is going. Do I want this? Do I want this to go further? What choices do I have? All I know is whatever happens it will be on her terms.