Cum for the Chills, Get the Thrills

Once again, readers, it becomes apparent that I can't do anything by halves. Please enjoy this year's Halloween contest entry! If you like it, drop me a vote, a review, or a line. And have a gloriously spooky season!

"Calling all freaks, ghoulfiends, and creatures of the night! Visit the hottest Halloween house on the block- Howling Haunts Hall, located at 66 West 6th Street. Sensational spooks! Macabre monsters! Frights galore to send chills down your spine and infest your dreams. Open now through All Hallow's Eve, from midnight to the death-knell of the witching hour- 4 AM. Face your fears and walk away... changed. Howling Haunts Hall- We don't stop until you're screaming! Buy tickets today at HHH Halloween dot com! That's Triple H Halloween dot com!

(Guests 21 and up ONLY are invited to attend. Weak stomachs and weak hearts- stay home.)"

The radio's jabbering faded out, and some ad for a plumbing service kicked in; a much softer, less noticeable broadcast than the one preceding it. Betsy only tuned in because it seemed to rouse her from concentration, specifically.

She felt the goosebumps crawl up her neck.

The envelope on her desk, unbelievably filled with six free tickets to that very attraction, sat in plain view within reach. Every so often she couldn't help taking them out of the white paper pocket and fanning them across the wood. What a lucky strike! Competition in the office contest at her ad agency had been fierce, with people snapping up raffle tickets like hotcakes. There were a lot of tempting prizes, and half of the money was being donated to a children's hospital for Halloween goodies, so it was a great excuse to spend twenty bucks. Betsy just hadn't expected to win anything, much less the top prize.

Six tickets to the most popular and talked-about haunted attraction of the year. Anyone she knew who'd been had said it was both a pants-wettingly scary haunted house, and straight-up life-changing. A friend of a friend at a party the week before swore up and down they'd had a massive fear of spiders walking into the place, and came out totally cured- but they wouldn't say what the place was like or how it happened.

"You just have to go and see for yourself," the acquaintance told her mysteriously.

Betsy definitely wanted to go and had ever since she heard about it, but the ticket prices were kind of outrageous. 80 bucks a pop! Even though it had rave reviews and was said to be an intensely immersive experience well worth the money, she was barely saving anything right now and didn't have that much for a splurge.

Winning the tickets was such a thrill, and she had the people to go with. Already her roomies and a couple of friends from her building had jumped at the chance, and she'd booked them a timeslot on Halloween night (long after the trick-or-treaters would be in bed) with no early morning the next day.

No stress, no worrying over whether she should put in for that promotion to Creative Director, giving Dave some well-deserved competition. A night she could really cut loose.

Yes. That's what she needed.

That, and a costume that would allow her to let her hair down, whether metaphorically or literally. Betsy looked down at her pantsuit, nicely tailored and in a soft heather gray with a lilac blouse, but it was so demure. So blah. She wanted something new and exciting, if only for a night. Thank God for Halloween, really... it was the one night you were allowed to be somebody else. Something new.

The week couldn't pass fast enough.

While Betsy ground out the days writing copy and pitching ideas for staging, lighting, music, and arrangement, her friends too lived their 'normal' nine-to-five lives. Her roommates, Mandie and Todd, carried on with their regular gigs in a bougie butcher shop and real estate agency (respectively), eagerly anticipating the evening of scares to come. Donna, the favorite downstairs neighbor, worked her days at the lathe, her mind deliberating for hours on horror fun. She loved anything that got the heart pumping. Also a big horror buff, so being invited by Betsy was a dream come true.

The next-door neighbors and other solid friends in the building were Artie and Riley, roommates themselves. Artie did freelance writing for a humor site, and Riley was the manager and curator of a local art gallery. Both of them had jumped at the chance to join in on the trip. This was Betsy's movie night, DND campaign, and poker game crew- ready to ride or die!

Halloween Evening- Approaching showtime

The slow crawl to Halloween ended with a drizzle and gave way to crisp, clear fall weather on that Saturday, praise be. The streets were bustling with costumed figures, and most everyone had decorations up. Kids in the apartment building trick-or-treated door to door up and down the halls, but that always died down by nine. Betsy and her roomies spent the day handing out candy, looking forward to the night. They relaxed and got takeout together for dinner, watched a couple scary movies, and then agreed to meet up with the others downstairs for an Uber to the event.

"I am SO excited for this!" Mandie hummed to her best friend as the two of them got ready, doing make up in the bathroom of their apartment while Todd dressed in his and Mandie's bedroom. The couple- high school sweethearts who Betsy had known for years- were going dressed as a doe and stag, with antlers, tails, and woodland colors all matched up. Mandie was giving herself a full face in cream and tan, compete with freckles and a little black button deer nose painted on the tip of her own.

Betsy was grinning wide, her hair up in a chignon. Sparkles glittered over each eyelid in silver-blue, with coral pink lipstick to complement. Both women planned to get dressed once their details were finished, and the entire group was to meet downstairs at one. According to the website, the group would need to fill out waivers and stuff prior to entering, and early arrival was suggested. Their timeslot at the house was booked for 2 AM, and the description online estimated up to two hours to enjoy the attraction in full.

"Me too," Betsy gushed, delicately applying her mascara. "I've been needing a break from all the stress at work, and I can't believe I won the biggest prize in the raffle! I never win any of that shit!"

"Still chewing on whether or not to put in for that promotion, huh?" Mandie elbowed her gently.

"Yeah... it would mean more work but more reward, and I'd really love to rub it in Dave's smug-ass face."

"So go for it!" The delicate deer encouraged her friend. "You deserve it. Everybody says how good your work is."

"I know, I know." Busty Betsy sighed. She huffed a breath and put her hands on her (wide) hips, pausing to check her look. "I'll think about it more this weekend, after tonight, and if I go for it, I go for it Monday." The woman nodded, then bent forward to the mirror again. Adding a few finishing touches, she said "Let's just go out, forget all about work and have some fun!"

"Fuck yeah!" Mandie exclaimed, and they exchanged a high-five.

Minutes later they emerged from the bathroom to get dressed and to do Todd's deer makeup afterward. Betsy stepped in to her short, tight, and low-cut princess dress, slipped into a pair of glittery shoes she would walk in for a few hours, and pinned a tiara into her hair. Time for final touches- long silky white opera gloves and a shimmering wrap to keep out the autumnal chill. Hopefully her thick stockings would keep her legs warm while they were outside.

When she exited her room, Mandie and Todd were waiting. Her bestie, clothed in clinging brown leggings and a furry dress with a white tummy and spotted brown back, fluffy tail perched on her butt, fussed over Todd's makeup and antlers. He was wearing brown furry pants and a shirt much like his girlfriend's dress, printed to look like the elegant king of the forest he was pretending to be. His getup was more masculine, his colors darker and less form-fitting. Mandie's antlers were smaller and had flowers on them. Todd's were thick and stood taller.

"You guys look great," Betsy giggled. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were a couple." Todd rolled his eyes and Mandie huffed.

"Could be worse," Todd said flatly. "We almost bought the 'Peanut Butter and Jelly' costumes."

"Oh shut it! You were right; they were goofy. This is so much cuter." She went back to preening him, and Todd groaned.

Was there perhaps a little tension in Todd? Some kind of exasperation? Betsy shook her head and decided to stop poking the bear. "C'mon, let's head downstairs. It's almost time, and Donna texted to say she's already called for the Uber."

The couple grabbed their things and followed the short-skirted princess down to the elevator.

"Um, wow," the man behind her muttered, and there came a small whump, accompanied by a grunt. "What? It's just that Betsy looks... really great. Different. It's nice."

"I was trying something new," the woman said, keeping her tone mild. "Appreciate the... support, Todd." She could practically feel Mandie glaring.

"Yeah! That's right," the panicked dude jumped on his friend's words to smooth things over with his affronted girlfriend. "Betsy never steps outside her comfort zone. It's a surprise, but a good one."

"Well, yeah," Mandie said. Betsy knew without looking that her arms would be crossed over her chest, and she'd be pouting. "Like, damn babe, you look fine for sure. You've got a killer figure. Killer enough that you got my boyfriend to drool all over you."

"I'm sure he's just surprised," Betsy countered. "It's Halloween!" As they entered the elevator, the buxom one winked and grinned at her roomies, turning kinda awkwardly to punch the ground-floor button. "Trick or treat, right?"

They both gave a chuckle, shrugging.

"Yeah, trick or treat."

The elevator descended, opening on the downstairs lobby in short order. Two figures stood together, waiting and chatting. It was late, so pretty much only the security guard and a few stray night owls moved at all through the space. Their two costumed friends stood starkly out. No one else looked as though they were ready to go out at this hour- everyone else was definitely coming in from parties or events. Betsy's group waved, then joined the others- making them five.

"Hey," Artie greeted, his face painted bright brown with lines and whorls in black, making his skin look textured. He wore a black top hat with leaves poking out beneath, and what looked like a branch attached to his head. Underneath he wore a black, old-fashioned suit. Something antiquey. And he was... some kind of tree-man? Riley, his roommate, was also dressed in a very vintage-styled suit, but different. 20s or 30s gangster for sure.

Mandie, Todd, and Betsy greeted their friends.

"Yo, we're ready to roll," Todd said, grinning. "Where's Donna?"

"Just texted," Riley replied, looking at their phone. "She's coming down now, or will be in a hot second."

"Great costumes," Mandie greeted, stepping into the circle. "But obviously they're more specific than I'm getting. Riley, where did you get this suit? It looks better than any of the stuff at the Halloween stores."

"I had to scour thrift shops and vintage boutiques to find it," Riley told them eagerly. "I based the look on old photos of 'Bugs' Moran, a bootlegger and rival to Al Capone in the twenties. He had these patterned ties." The one Riley was wearing had thick stripes at an angle across it.

"You look like you're going to a funeral," Betsy told Artie. "But I don't get the face paint. A tree in a suit?"

"Well, I'm in mourning," their friend, the "goofy", "funny" one told them, gesturing at the attire. Black tailcoat, black cravat knotted expertly around his throat. Crisp white shirt, black suit pants, black shoes. The rest of the group nodded along. "And I'm a tree. So I'm made of..." still smiling toothily, waving his hand over and over in a circular motion, trying to lead them along.

"Wood?" Mandie blurted, catching on faster than the peasants in the witch-hunting scene of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. "Mourning... wood?"

Dead silence fell for a split second, and then everybody groaned while Artie cracked up. Todd gave him a playful punch on the shoulder while facepalming, and the others booed.

As their reactions all died down, Artie was still chuckling and wiping a tear of amusement from his eye. The elevator dinged; the group turned and waited to see their final member emerge, and when the doors opened...

Donna had told none of them what her costume was, so none of them were expecting a very realistic looking Freddy Kruger to be posed menacingly behind the sliding doors as they slowly opened.

"How sweet," Donna gargled, doing her best scratchy imitation of the actor in his iconic role, "fresh meat!" The famous claws were up and out, and everyone yelled in surprise at first, until Donna walked out into the lobby cackling in her normal voice.

"Ohh you guys should see your faces!" She laughed, holding her stomach as she came forward. "So I nailed it? The makeup? The outfit and accessories?"

"It's so real," Betsy affirmed, impressed. "How long did this take?" She reached up but didn't quite touch the painstakingly-constructed puckers and burns of ruined 'flesh' that gave quite the reasonable facsimile of the horror icon.

"Hours," her friend answered. "I prepped as much as I could ahead of time and spent the entire afternoon and evening working on it. Left the candy outside for the kids so I wasn't constantly interrupted."

"Smart," Riley nodded.

A chiming noise popped up on Donna's phone, and she pulled it out with her ungloved hand. The other had the claws.

"Uber's about to pull up. We should step outside."

The group moved, chattering excitedly. A car came shortly thereafter- large enough for all six to pile in. Artie took shotgun, and everyone else filled two bucket seats and a back bench, celebrating their trip. The driver greeted them in a Crypt Keeper mask plus getup, and the ride to the attraction was very merry indeed.

"Anyone else heading out to this thing tonight?" Betsy asked, next to Mandie and Todd in the back.

"Oh yeah," the driver laughed. "There and back. All of them just like you- going in full costume, excited as fuck, and they come out bedraggled, exhausted- but everybody said it's an unbelievable time."

This proved to heighten their anticipation, and by the time they arrived, fisting their tickets tight, the place was lit up. People were standing outside, gawking or hanging out, emerging shaky, and the energy in the air was palpable. One thing there didn't appear to be? Disappointed faces. That was heartening.

The Uber pulled up on the street directly in front of the box office, and the group split the bill and added a modestly generous tip. They spilled onto the sidewalk, and the Crypt Keeper took off- down the road to pick up the patrons leaving the very same haunted house.

Moments later, the six friends were inside checking in with their reservation, tickets in hand. Each was given a clipboard with some paperwork to read over and sign and they settled in to finish this up before they would be allowed inside.

Welcome to Howling Haunts Hall! It began, upbeat. Wouldn't stay that way.

You are about to enter an immersive "haunted" experience designed to test you in ways you never expected. To bring your innermost fears to the surface and make you confront them. You may walk in casually, thinking you'll have a few hours of harmless fun that will get the blood pumping and the heart racing, and it will.

However, it is our goal that when you walk out, you won't be the same. You'll be something beyond. Someone more whole.

In this haunt, you can expect to confront gore, terrifying monsters, creatures, demons, entities, and other deep-rooted fears personified and made Real. You may be touched, disoriented, lost. You will struggle, cry, plead, beg, and suffer. Most importantly, you will scream. The fun doesn't stop until you're screaming and well satisfied with this attraction. Good luck.

Following the intro, a list of questions. Some pretty obvious, "standard" things about physical and mental health, heart conditions, phobias, and stuff like that. But there were a few unusual queries on the list, with space to fill in answers beneath.

"Would you consider yourself a 'thrillseeker'?" Donna muttered, half to the group, half to herself as she pored over the list.

"Do you have any unfulfilled or unrecognized ambitions?" Betsy read aloud, wondering why this type of question was here.

"Any unsatisfied desires?" Artie continued, his voice tight and breathy.

"How do you feel about being pushed to your physical and mental limits?" Riley said next, tilting their head to one side.

"Do you fear being exposed to your own flaws and weaknesses?" Todd and Mandie read together, out of sync and harmony with each other.

The group exchanged looks all around, mirth suddenly dampened by the reality of what they were about to go through. Silence fell as they filled out their questionnaires and read over the waivers. The attraction promised no serious harm would befall them, but that they may experience intense physical, emotional, and mental challenges through the scares. Gore was expected, as was plenty of terrifying actors in full costumes and makeup. There were final warnings and a consent form.

Every single one of them signed it.

2 AM

The groups outside turned out to be other reservations, waiting to be called in.

Once the six had finished their forms, they were ushered outside with wristbands exchanged for their tickets, and each of them clutched a glowstick, their only allowed source of light. All cell phones and personal effects (including Donna's Freddy Kruger claws) had been surrendered until the end of the experience.

After waiting fifteen minutes, it was their turn to go inside. Betsy and her crew were ushered to the doors, then split into a staggered line. They were entering in pairs but warned they may not be staying that way. Donna and Betsy were sent in first; after one last glance back at their friends and a thumbs-up, they were pushed through the doors. The other two pairs (Riley and Artie, followed by Mandie and Todd) would be staggered three minutes apart.

The two women, scary and sexy, entered a dark hall and the door slammed shut behind them. It was pitch black, and they held their glowsticks aloft just to see where they were going. All that stretched before them was the hall, and as they crept tentatively forward, there was... silence.

"Is this it?" Donna dared ask in a whisper, after they'd gotten about halfway forward across creaking floors in the corridor. No breathing, no footsteps, nothing. Both were expecting a jump scare by now. "There's nothing down here yet."

"It's got to be just the initial passage. Once we reach the end I bet you somebody will leap out at us, probably with a chainsaw." They kept walking, and there was obviously a door on the end. Their steps eased, and they began walking more normally, instead of clumped together.

Still, something was weird. The further they got, the narrower the hallway seemed. The women wound up having to move single-file just to get to the door, and it was Betsy who ultimately laid a hand on the knob to turn it.

It opened forward to an absolutely blinding light, and a gust of cold air.

Both women wound up through it in a blink, and vaguely heard it slamming behind them. All they could see for several seconds was white- the kind of sterile halogen lighting that you'd find in hospitals, but just everywhere. There didn't appear to be anyone or anything else in the surrounding 'room', or wherever the hell they'd wound up. As Betsy opened her mouth to speak, she felt a rush of movement and heard a whoooooosh that deafened her. She whisked around, but Donna's presence seemed to have vanished. The glowstick was completely overwhelmed by the white light, and she staggered forward without knowing which way or where she was going.