All Comments on 'Double Helix Ch. 20'
by FelHarper
- 9 Comments
Worth a first-tier action movie, perfectly balanced with the final "I think they had to be ordered to take cover" - waiting to read for what they will discover with their net.
Thank you for that. This part required an outsized effort in terms of rewrites and editing. I’ve been anticipating the events in this chapter since I wrote chapter 7, and it feels good to reach that milestone, because Sasha was too good of a character to go out like that.. I think I might actually finish the grand story that I set out to write back in 2013.
I’m trying to keep the pace and quality both high. The next chapter is at about 80%, so I hope to have that out in under two weeks. Lots of plot and character developments, some naughty, naughty sex, and more will be heading your way.
I hope the changing viewpoints don’t detract. Chapter 21 is Norm’s POV, but I’m planning on doing a couple of perspectives we haven’t seen before.
I do thoroughly enjoy double helix. However i have been really been waiting on your other story Lamia. I sincerely hope you post chapter 3 very soon. So far, its onr of my favorites.
I started back up on Lamia this week. The chapter 21 of Double Helix is finished, but I set it aside for a few days so that I can do one more pass through it before sending off for editing. Then the site takes 2-4 days to publish. So, a week or so on that. Then probably a week after that I should have Lamia chapter 3 up on the site.
Well, you pulled off the interdiction scene well... and created a perfect plot expansion for a 'sequel' with the mysterious black clad gen-mods.
One slight error to point out, (and only because you have been so spot on in the medical arena), Mike would have hesitated giving Norm pain meds because of the TBI. Doesn't mean he wouldn't have, in the end, but opiates do tend to increase BP, at strength/high dose. He would have had a dialogue about it, with Norm.
You've got a real barn burner, here... great job.
GeoD
Wow, that was a shock. I had to stop reading in the middle there because I was literally shivering, and wait a day to recover emotionally. It's pretty horrible, and although I wondered how the government/whoever were using the genemods/ex-genemods, it never occured to me that they might mind control them. Is that also what they are using the geneticists for ? This is more horrible than anything I had envisioned.
Very well done, I did not even notice how invested I was with the story before it shook me so. Maybe because I can see that happening to Nissi or Tilly...
And if they are mind-controling 2000 ppl a month (which I think was the disappearence rate?) since a few month before the end of the grace period (when people started disappearing instead of being reverted), they already have quite an army, and getting more all the time.
The situation sounds desperate.
That is sincerely one of the best compliments that a writer could receive. Thank you.
I view chapter 1-6 as book 1, 7-12 as book 2, and 13-21 as book 3. We are entering a new story arc now, and we will definitely see an intensifying of the crisis hinted at in chapter 20. Thanks to everyone who has stuck with me on this journey.
I know that this comment probably won’t get a response but this issue is really bugging me. First, let me say that I LOVE this storyline. This is actually the second time I’ve read it. Had to refresh my memory when you posted chapter 22. My only issue is that Alice went on that rescue mission but you never clarified where her kids were or who was taking care of them. You pointed out that if anyone got caught then the farm wouldn’t be safe, but you never explained how the kids would be rescued. They are too young to be on their own and as half genemods the government would love to get their hands on them. Please tell me you had a plan for those little ones and just forgot to include it in the story!