- Incest/Taboo
- Family Tree
- Comments
All Comments on 'Family Tree'
by TCBanner
- 15 Comments
I'm fucking speechless!!! I simply love this story - no, not a story, a fucking masterpiece!!!! You actually put it all in... love, sex, crime, betrayal, envy, affection, generosity, devotion and much more I hardly can find the proper words - due to a lack of words, cursing my fate, not being a native speaker and reaching the limits of my english skills. You made me feel the emotions and fears and made me a witness of what happened!!! I beg you to extend this tale, send it in and make a fucking book out of it!!!! I'm unfortunately limited to only five stars, although your story at least deserves fifteen!!! Be asured, I'll keep an eye on you for making sure I don't miss another story of yours...
Thrilled and avid
Yours
MaitreNuit
You sir or madame are a master of your craft. vivid charecters and a compelling story. it was quite touching. many thnks for writing. do continue the story.
That first guy said what I was thinking! I rarely read stories that long, I usually don't even open stories that have more than 5 different entries, not that this was one. I was afraid it would have an unhappy ending, thanks for not crushing my hopes.
that would have been even more beautiful if it hadn't been marred by so many blunders. Very often a verb like 'look' or 'know' is missing in a sentence. I was trying to imagine what a 'waist of breath' might look like and how do you account for using the phrase 'with every o n c e of my soul' twice in the most intimate moment of declaring his/her undying love?
That really hurts. So, if you know you're (btw, check the difference between 'your' and 'you're') dyslectic, why not grab somebody to check what you've written and have him / her help you with it. I don't want to put you down too much and in spite of my criticism I gave you a 4, but I would easily have given you a 10 - if that were possible - because it is such a good story.
Thank you to all who posted compliments on the story.
IMcRout - You gave me a complex and I had to reread it all over again with a fine-tooth comb. Yes, I found the two missing verbs. And "waist of breath" should have been "waste of breath". And I screwed the pooch with "once of my soul" - "OUNCE of my soul" *Doh!*. The two 'You're vs your' mistakes, and one or two other random misspellings and a rougue quotation mark.
An edited version has been submitted to correct those mistakes. But I would hardly say it was "marred by so many blunders". Only a half dozen grammatical goofs in a story of this length - not bad for having no editor, I think. Had I not been up against a submission deadline, they would have been caught. I understand that such mistakes are avoidable and can detract from the experience. In any case, thanks for pointing them out so I could correct them. I hope the corrected version will be up soon.
Is very masterpeece so touching this story. My wife she is cry for the end and very happy. for your cherecters so real good job very good score. thank you.
aww this story is so sweet, it really touched me. i laughed at some parts, cried at others, and got pissed when that psycho michael started raping jill. it is really romantic, and i wish the best of luck in the competition,
grant
simply amazing! the way the emotions of jill and lance were expressed, it was simply stupendous. all the correctors were build up brilliantly like the old wise pearl, the uncle and aunts, experienced alex and hence the whole effect of the story. apart from the forbidden relation the romantic love was insanely romantic. way to go !!!
i actually cant believe i am the first one to comment on this.
pkdk007
i stopped half way down page one what a messed up story do a rewrite and do it properly start at the begining and go from there no background as to why no one wants lance around or what happened to grandpa this sounds like chapter two or three crappy way to get readers interested by starting out confusing them don't quit your day job
Wonderful story. Do NOT let morons like Anonymous bother you. You have a wonderful, real, and very well developed story here. It was definitely worth the read. I could not put it down! Keep it UP!
Wow...Great story. It just drew me in and got better and better. Your characters are so rich and bad in a good way. Keep writing you have a unique vision.
was it your intention to leave the reader completely confused? if so, you succeeded.
I am sorry I wasted my time reading it!
Great story. I read it many years ago, and re-read it just now. Both then and now -- wow!
One suggestion: write Alex's story. Either a prequel, fill in her backstory. Or about where her life goes after this.