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Click here"Young man, something has come up, can you please bring us a box and the check?" said Mom, he just said okay and went back to the kitchen.
Clara was a little upset that I didn't record for her but Mom insisted on a round two to make it up, she got to eat her in the back seat like she'd planned too.
I suppose to most people my lifestyle is wrong but I don't care. Clara and I live together now in a nice secluded house. Mom has her own room to sleep in when she comes to visit, we have a pool and so many places to take fantastic pictures for Clara's personal page and Mom's website, as for our visits to Uncle Carl, well, those stories are for another time...
- COMMENTS
A good story, hell all your stories are good, but not for the first time I can't help wondering why you have to get so greedy. Sometimes less is good, and more isnt always better. It's a good story, but when you expanded it to include Aunt, Cousin, Uncle and Mother, it took a turn for the worst. It would have been a much better story if you'd simply focused on the Brother/Sister relationship instead of branching out. By expanding out to include others you lost some of the characterisation and sadly there wasnt a lot to begin with. Some of your best stories are those with only 2 characters, or at the very least only 1 taboo relationship as it means the entire story is focused on that character dynamic giving it more weight and letting us readers be more invested which is especiallu important in the short stories you prefer to right. A good story like I said, a solid 4*, but definitely as as good as your stories (like Adrift) that only focus on a single family dynamic.
I stopped reading when you added uncle/niece, father/daughter elements. More is not better.
I enjoyed the story very much. Then the surprise of sister, then mom was great. Hope you include the rest of this family! Thanks for sharing your talent of storytelling!