All Comments on 'Mass Effect: Miranda and Jacob'
by MeanBlackjack
- 10 Comments
as a massive fan of the mass effect universe, I have to say this is a great read, hope to see more!!
I wish to apologise in advance, as this has very little to do with the story itself, but: Okeer was never a part of the Normandy crew. You're thinking of Grunt. At first I was thinking you'd set this piece before the crew had been assembled, but that's impossible given that you'd said Garrus by name, instead of Archangel. Like I said, sorry; my inner Mass Effect stickler was demanding an audience.
As to the writing itself: Not bad. The dialogue is a little stilted, but that might just be me, it's hard to say. You certainly have some talent, and being a huge Mass Effect fan, I look forward to more in this vein if you feel like writing it.
Kurokami, Thank you for reading and presumably voting on my fic. You're right, I misused Garrus' name. The time I was writing this fic was just before the Normandy moved over to Omega so, Okeer was going to be part of the team.
Thanks for bringing it to my attention!
MeanBlackjack
Unlike your usual topic of choice, but I do like the story.
I may not be a fan of Mass Effect - I've never had the opportunity to play the game - but I'm a huge fan of Yvonne Strahovski.
I already liked your other stories and this one is no exception.
You're a quite talented author, as far as I can judge considering my limited english skills.
Can't wait to read the stories still in the pipe.
MaitreNuit
quite an interesting concept, in the game I put Miranda w/Shepard... um do you really think Miranda would cry? She's a bit of a hard-ass and she detests losing control & if I recall correctly, in th game she didn't cry when she told Shepard she was sterile. But this was your take & it was interesting to see her looking so vulnerable even if it was a bit of a stretch believing she would have a relationship/sex with a subordinate
Don't get me wrong, you're an excellent writer but as a huge Mass Effect fan, one who just loved the character development in the 2nd game, I have to say you just didn't do Miranda justice, she is strong willed and would not break down as you wrote her. Still, props for a good story.
Wow you really have talent! I've played both games and I can totally see this happening. You should keep writing and I can't wait to read your other stories!
Great story Mirandas my faveroite mass effect babe. a sexual masterpiece love how jacob broke her down and made her moan like a whore. Good choice in chaerecters Miranda with her perky juggs and tight ass and pussy love the deepthroat part. Would have put in an anal scene because her mouthwatering butt and have jacob jizz on it and her preety face. For me i visualised evey part wish i was jacob being able to tap that perfect ass and make her moan would be a dream espeically if she deepthroated.that said very erotic keep up the good work.
I really enjoyed reading this story. And I hope you continue making these Mass Effect stories. thank you.