All Comments on 'My Birthday Wish'

Lots of potential but at this point it lacks description. No real discussion of genitalia. For example, "I drank in the sight of that muscled body and a huge erection. I'd never actually seen one before." Sorry, but had never seen one before, yet somehow knew it was huge? That just doesn't work very well in a story like this. Where is the description of Tits, Nipples, Pussy hair, its color and its abundance, thick - thin - trimmed or it is just another shaved to bald story. Any fetishes to be described? Hopefully the next chapter will address these issues. Keep at this.

It's a good story, but having one's parents around to coach the proceedings kind of throws a wet blanket over everything. Who would get turned with their parents in the room?

Not much to it and too short 3 stars

What a bunch of drivel. 👎