Negging Coworkers

"I'm so hot," I say as I look out the window of the restaurant we're sitting in.

My coworker, Kai Chase, gives me a once over.

"I wouldn't say that," He goes on, "I think 'cute' or 'mildly attractive' is more like it."

It takes me a second to realize the pass he just made at me. And when it hits me, I am all but baffled. This is the same guy who, every day at the office, seems to have it in for me. But leave it to a man to try to hit on you.

I roll my eyes.

"Are you really fucking flirting with me right now?" I ask in disbelief despite myself.

He gives a shrug.

"Did you find it offensive?" He asks.

I lift an eyebrow.

"If I wasn't in such a bad state with my current love life, I probably would. But I'm so dry in that area...that...it is actually creepingly flattering," I say.

He flashes me a smile.

A few minutes go by as I continue to stare out the window. The restaurant we're at for our company's lunch is a cheap choice. Half of our team is late to show up. I didn't even want to come when I got the invitation to meet up after work. But it's been about six turndowns to these types of invites. So, I was due to say yes to one out of courtesy. Which is what I usually force myself to do. Especially since I don't want to be too much of an antisocial bitch at my job.

Sadly, I'm always punctual. So, I wasn't surprised when I ended up being the first one at the meet up spot. But I was surprised when the second person to show up was Kai. He's one of the people in the office I like the least. But I wouldn't put him at number one on my list. He's more like...tied for number four because he's always just such an arrogant jerk.

Again, I'm still surprised he just hit on me. Or that he even finds me attractive at all. I'm actually thinking about it as I glance nervously out the window. There is no way I'm making eye contact or small talk with this man now. Not after he basically just opened up us both to so much awkwardness by hitting on me. Especially when I first just tried to make conversation out of politeness.

But as I'm starting out the window, what he said to me keeps replaying in my head.

"Wait a minute. That wasn't even a fucking compliment. You basically said I was 'ok' looking!"

I snap my head to look at him again.

He gives me another smug look.

"I said 'cute' and 'mildly attractive'," He corrects me.

I never knew I'd be so desperate for love that I'd take negging as a compliment. But here I am. Divorced. With a dating profile that's been open for the past four months with no real fruit to bear as of yet. The only real interaction I get with a man is my unrequited crush on my personal trainer at the gym every week.

And...well...I guess now one of my coworkers.

It also shocks me that Kai is the best option I've got in the love area.

It sucks to be a woman, sometimes. Especially when you're a picky woman. Because for all the aggravation this guy has caused me in the office, he is somewhat decent looking. With straight, jet black hair and a nice smile.

Sure, he's not my gym trainer. Kai's got more of a dad body build. But he's attractive, nonetheless. I'll give him that.

I wonder to myself if his attempt at negging me is about to be followed by anything more. OR if he's just being his typical snarky self.

Sure enough...he goes in for the kill.

"You want to skip all of this boring shit and go back to my place?"

My jaw opens a little because I'm absolutely shocked.

Did he just?

Yeah.

He did.

He really did.

Great. I'm dealing with the equivalent of a frat boy.

"Are you ok?" I ask him seriously, "I mean, what about me ever gave you the idea that I'd be interested in you like that?"

Kai laughs.

"I'm just throwing out feelers. Testing the waters," He says, "It never hurts to try!"

I roll my eyes.

"Well, give up," I say shortly, "I don't appreciate being hit on by coworkers. It makes shit awkward."

Kai shrugs again.

"Not as awkward as being here right now," He says and then gives me the once over again, "And I didn't mean to offend you. I was only joking. Kind of. I've never seen you come to one of these before. And you actually do look really beautiful tonight. I guess I couldn't help trying to flirt with you. I like pretty girls. My mind just risks it all when I see one."

I feel my cheeks kind of warm when he says that. And my whole body gets hot.

Great. I'm so desperate that his game is still working.

I look out the window again.

But really I'm staring at nothing. I'm just too nervous to say anything more. I find myself praying that one of our other coworkers will show up.

He's not that bad looking.

I give a quick glance at Kai again. And I immediately regret it. Because he's still staring at me. But his deep brown eyes read amused. As if he's watching me and laughing at how uncomfortable I am.

"You know, you really are a pig," I tell him with a roll of my eyes.

He laughs again. And he's annoying. Especially with that laugh of his. He sounds like a hyena chuckling. But I don't add that.

I think to myself.

This is the most action I've gotten in a long time. And no matter how much I fantasize about it: I know my trainer and I are never going to magically have hot shower sex in the locker room.

I look at Kai again. He is still staring at me with that same look on his face.

Ugh. God.

It HAS been a while.

I shouldn't do it.

We work together.

And he's tied as the FOURTH person I hate at the job.

This will only make work more miserable for me if I do this.

It's obviously a bad idea.

But...

I kind of need sex.

"Ok. Let's go. But you better not tell anyone about this," I say and immediately stand up.

Kai's brown eyes widen, but he looks sure of himself. Like he's celebrating a win. And he stands up, too. Did he know I would say yes?

By the way he's grinning at me, I feel like he strongly considered that I would. How? Did he know how desperate I am? But I guess any girl who takes negging as a compliment would be down pretty bad.

"Good! Let's get out of here before the rest of the crew comes," He says, "I can drive."

"I drove myself here," I snapped.

He chuckles,"Ok, then follow me. I don't live far."

I feel weird as we both walk out the same way we came in. I am also silently paranoid that the waiters, waitresses, and customers we pass by all know what it is I'm about to do. It is as if I have "One Night Stand" tattooed on my forehead.

My heart is also racing with the fear of a coworker walking in just as Kai and I are walking out together. How would we play that off? Would we just pretend we're going to go get something? Then call off our plan and go back inside?

God.

I feel like I'm about to have a heart attack. But we make it to the parking lot to both our cars without running into anyone we know. I watch as Kai gets into his car and flashes me a smile.

"Trust me," He reassures again, "I don't live far."

I get in my car and I'm still sweating bullets. 'You can always change your mind' plays in my head. I could simply just tell him 'no' right now. And we could head back into the restaurant. As if nothing ever happened.

Almost like he notices my self doubt, Kai rolls down his window. And beeps his horn lightly to get my attention.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asks with that grin still on his face, "You look like you want to back out right now"

I roll my window down because his voice is kind of muffled.

"...I don't know," I admit as I literally sit there having an existential crisis in front of him.

"We can always call it off," He assures me with a chuckle, "It's ok."

I place my head on my steering wheel as I mull this over more. I better hurry up and make a decision before any of our coworkers see us pulling out together. I know it's been a while in the sex department. But again, do I really want to do a one night stand with a coworker?

I mean, I should just continue going on dates with guys on my online dating profile. But I always find myself being way too picky there because I don't know the guys personally. And the only man I've been consistently around in real life is my trainer. Which, like I said, having sex with him is more of a fantasy and doesn't count because he's literally just my trainer.

I give Kai the once over again: who for his part seems to be amused by this whole thing. He is just watching me have my mental breakdown debating on whether or not I should really do this.

I've been seeing Kai consistently, too. If I count the same logic I just for my trainer in this situation with a coworker. I mean, I know Kai. We've worked in the same office for over four years now. So, it's not like he's a total stranger.

And since I'm older now, I don't go out much. I'm also divorced. And...well, I have to count my suitors differently than when I was in my younger years. I mean, my options are really between the equivalent of online dating matches or the manager at my local grocery store I frequent.

I sigh.

"Like I said," Kai repeats, "No pressure. We can head back inside the restaurant."

I look at him again. He is kind of handsome. Now that I know he's interested in me physically, I allow myself to think of him in a sexual way. Before, I always had a rule to see coworkers as regular humans. Because I do not need to be wondering what they look like outside of their clothes while I'm trying to get work done. It's been so long, though, that I've found myself not even applying that logic to other professional areas. Like when I go to the gym to workout with my trainer.

If I get this need to have sex over with and just itch that scratch that's been nagging at me for the last year...I'll be set for about a year or two until I need to have sex again. That's usually how my body works. I'm not a jezebel. But when I haven't had sex in a long time, I do need something real. And a good solo dolo masturbation session isn't enough to fill my desires.

The last time I had actual sex was with my ex husband. But he's since moved on and gotten a new girlfriend. So, those meetups stopped.

But my ex finding someone new did propel me to open up a dating profile. In order to try and move on, too. I also got a gym membership with weekly trainer sessions to somewhat help get fit again. You know, the whole 'self improvement/get over him' project. Because even though we were divorced, my ex husband and I still held on to one another for quite awhile.

It only felt natural to have to go through that "bounce back" stage. I even bought new clothes and grew out my hair. Apparently, my "revenge body" was working if after a month of doing consistent self improvement, I was getting hit on and come on to by an annoying coworker of all people.

Maybe I was starting to look as good as I did in my early twenties. I remember before I got married, I had a number of suitors lined up at my proverbial door. Now that I think about it, I even noticed that men have been responding differently to me since my whole "transformation" mission. At this restaurant alone this evening, I had a guy who was obviously way ahead of me, wait and hold the door so I could walk in.

If I just held on, I could probably meet some more dating options. And not just the ones on my dating profile. But real, genuine men who will approach me and ask me out. If I was getting back at the stage of hotness where guys were making it a point to hold open doors for me, and where my creepy coworkers were flirting and risking it all to make sexual passes...then I was probably only twenty-eight more weeks at my gym away from being at the level of beauty I was at in my prime. Or close to it.

Should I really just give in because it's been THAT long since I've had sex?

Am I THAT horny?

I look at Kai again. He's waiting patiently for me to make a decision. He seems to be studying me with that same amusement written on his face.

"Please say 'yes'," He says all of a sudden.

I'm shocked because he looks very eager.

I raise my eyebrow.

"Stop being so pushy," I say jokingly, "This is a serious decision! Fucking a coworker isn't something to take lightly!"

He chuckles.

"Yeah, I know. But to be honest, I don't really care at this point. I'm so close," He says,"I mean. I want you to do it only if YOU want to. It would make my entire fucking year if this actually happens."

I roll my eyes. Yeah. He's a classic frat boy.

"Ugh, just drive. I'll follow," I say.

He looks shocked but almost gleeful. Like a kid who just got told he CAN get the toy he's been begging for all day long while his mom is in the store.

"I better drive fast before you change your mind," He says.

I shoot him another look.

"What? I'm getting lucky! I don't take THAT lightly," He emphasizes. Then he rolls up his car window with a smirk on his face.

I followed him out of the parking lot. Sure enough he doesn't live too far from the shitty restaurant with the bad AC. We pull into a townhome area that's not bad looking. A few kids are playing outside as the evening makes the heat drop. And I see moms out walking with strollers.

He parks into a driveway and I park behind him. His place is a typical looking townhome. With gray and dark blue coloring.

When he gets out of the car, he turns and waits for me. I hesitantly step out. My heart is still racing and I am still sweating at the implications of what I'm about to do.

He comes over to me with the same grin on his face.

"It's almost official now," He says.

I roll my eyes again. But he's got a point.

"You can still change your mind any time," He reassures me.

I sigh.

"Let's just get inside before I do," I tell him.

To which he grins again. And then, weirdly, as we're headed to his door...he reaches out and holds my hand.

I don't say anything. Because it feels oddly nice and sort of comforting. It's been so long since I've held a guy's hand.

"Hey, Kai!" A neighbor is walking up to the townhome next to us which has the garage open. The neighbor waves just as we're heading in.

"Hey, Marcus!" Kai says cheerfully. But I just feel awkward.

I see two little girls ride up on the sidewalk towards us with their pink bicycles. They can't be more than four or eight, but they seem to be riding up specifically towards us.

"Kai! Is that your girlfriend?" They cry as they stare at me specifically.

"Hopefully," Kai says to my embarrassment, "Why don't you ask her yourself?"

The neighbor bursts out laughing. He and Kai share that look adults do when children say the darndest things.

I'm just standing there with my cheeks flaming wishing that this one night stand was not turning out to be as awkward as it is. Sure enough the little girls giggle and the oldest one says, "Are you Kai's girlfriend?"

The neighbor turns his eyes elsewhere and pretends to admonish the little girls. They must be his daughters.

"Kelsey. Bailey. Leave Kai and his friend alone. C'mon. I was just about to yell for you guys to get inside for dinner," He says to my relief.

The girls protest. But they follow their dad.

"Bye Kai! Bye Kai's girlfriend!" The youngest one yells and waves as Kai has finally opened the door to his place.

I'm mortified, but he just smiles and waves back at them with his free hand. He and the neighbor continue to share a knowing smile.

Kai leads me through the door, still holding my hand, and shuts it. He lets go when he locks it. And I immediately feel even more awkward as he turns around.

"Welcome," He says. And gives a big gesture with a tiny bow.

I look around at this townhome. He has stairs that I assume lead to the upstairs and the master bedroom.

"Nice place," I say. Because it actually is. It's sparsely decorated. I can see he has a living room, an area towards a kitchen, and a powder room.

"Thanks. I try," He says but then we both glance towards the staircase. Because I know what's coming. It just feels like it's stupid to pretend I'm here for anything else. So, a formal tour doesn't feel necessary.

He chuckles.

"Well, let's get to the main attraction," He says. He grabs my hand again surprisingly. Then proceeds to lead me up the staircase.

I see he has another bathroom up there. It seems to be connected to the master bedroom. He walks me to the main door of that bedroom and we enter. When he flicks on the light, he's still holding my hand.

"This is it," He says.

Thankfully, the blinds in the room are already closed. I can tell it's getting darker just as we finally got inside, though. I take in his room and it is simple but neat. With only a few messy clothes piled on the floor.

He has a nice, big bed that's got standard bedding. And a dresser with a big TV. I see that he's a gamer. My ex was, too. So, I immediately recognized the console and couldn't help but roll my eyes.

Kai must have been studying me, because he comments, "What?" when I do.

"Nothing," I replied quickly,"I just see you like video games."

He laughs.

"I play from time to time," He says. But something in me tells me it's more than that. I just gave him a look.

To which he laughs again.

I notice a mini fridge in the corner. But that's about it for the speciality of his room. There's another door inside that I know must lead to the bathroom I saw.

He's still holding my hand. And I feel awkward.

"So, how are we going to do this?" I ask.

Let's just get this over with.

"I mean, we could try the bed. But I'm open to other ideas if you are," He says in a joking tone.

I roll my eyes.

"Relax," He tells me suddenly.

His voice is serious and he looks down at me.

"If you want to leave, we can always just stop. Or if you don't want to do anything, we don't have to. You can go at any time. Or we can just sit and hang," He says softly.

I look up at him. He looks so genuine that it's almost hard for me to tell if he's serious about that last part.

"Let's just get this over with," I say,"I've already come this far."

I let go of his hand. And he watches me with surprise in his eyes as I start to unbutton my blouse.

"Ok," He says.

"You have protection?" I ask straightforwardly.

"Yep," He says with a grin,"I've also got something else that I think you'll like!"

I don't know what he could be talking about with that. But I keep unbuttoning my shirt as I watch him open the door that leads to the bathroom. He goes inside where I can't see him. But I keep taking off my clothes. My shirt is off.

However, when I get to my skirt, I hesitate. Do I REALLY want to do this?

I bite my lip. Shit. Shit. Shit.

It wouldn't be fair to him to follow him ALL the way back to his place, get ALL the way up the stairs, IN his master bedroom with his big ass bed, halfway UNDRESSED, and THEN tell him I changed my mind.

But that's exactly what I'm just about to do when Kai walks back from the bathroom. However, my mind changes when I see him come out.

He has his shirt off, too. And to my surprise, my earlier assumption of him having a dad body was wrong. He's not completely built. But he definitely is in way better shape then I gave him credit for. When I see his chest that has a little bit of sparse hair on the front, I feel my body tingle. Especially in the area that I was hesitant to undress just a few seconds ago.

Ok. He's kind of hot. And I MYSELF am feeling hot in a different way than at the restaurant.

My carnal senses begin to take over. They plead with me to stay. If he's built a little bit on his upper body, what if he's built in that OTHER area, too?

Kai seems to be giving me the once over as well. He notices I'm undressed from the top up.

"I've got something for you," He says as he walks over to his bed. He gives me a smirk. But his eyes are still lingering on my chest, though. Even though my breasts are covered by the lace bra I put on today.