by juanwildone
but couldn't figure out why everything had to end at the end of that week, re-read it, must be overlooking or missing something. a fan always.
a great story, as far as it went, but there are two nearly unconnected parts.
What happened between the husband and wife after her learned of her affair? Why is he now balling the neighbor's daughter, and why for only a week?
Fill in the blanks, please!
this juan was somewhat diminished compared to the first story -the young girl thing was predicatable therefore not exciting, i skimmed through the last of it. but in general story's are pretty good!
I loved it, but echo the comments of others'. Suddenly you leave the story of Jack and his wife without any comment. What happened to their marriage? Was this two stories in your mind and you just put them together. How about a little transition? Neither one is finished.
I have really enjoyed your stories. they are well written and a different point of view.
2 complaints: the stores that are linked are not labelded well so i have no idea which ones go together.
and stories like this one leave to much un finished business. they need sequals.
It will improve your skill at writing exponentially. As it is, you have no idea.
Nice story, but confusing because of several scene changes without any indication. Even including a line of hyphens would work
------------------
I've read some of your later work, and it definitely has improved, bit I enjoyed this story, too.