Pharaoh Ch. 24

***Thursday, September 5, 2304 (still)***

I was awake before Stony and read that article by Mogumbo, the one about Alicia's win. It didn't really affect me much once Stony started stirring and stretching in bed. I rushed to her for one early morning kiss. Once we had both showered I couldn't stop kissing her, and, thank God!, she couldn't stop kissing back. She made us porridge with apple slices and tea for breakfast and then we were able to catch up.

Her Virginity Cert? Done. Cortez was in a hurry and hardly bothered her tits at all.

House? Done. Amazing. Real estate guy shows up and immediately raises the asking price 10%. He thinks Stony is the seller. He finds out it's Jeff and Alicia Rochefort, he raises again by 15%. Furnished? Add another 10%. He adverts Pharaoh-girl's adorable bungalow. Three couples start a bidding war. The winner is 20% over the agent's price. We are now under agreement for $170,000 more than the number Stony and I started at. Cash deal. Amazing. Closing tomorrow, so both we and Alicia will have our money by Friday night. Wow!

Divorce papers? Done and submitted electronically while I was away. I just had to show up at the court on Friday and complete the process.

Wedding set? Done. Stony and her Mom (!) had visited with Pastor Ninkovitch, put him under the seal of the confessional and got us scheduled for a 1 p.m. date on Sunday. We wanted private and small.

Briana? She was great with Cortez, really made him afraid of her. The girls spent the remainder of Wednesday buying Stony a bridal gown, assembling a trousseau and then "doing girl stuff". The details of that stuff I liked to imagine, but I did not ask. Bri was set to be Stony's Maid of Honor, had not yet gone to bed again with Moe'Neyah, but felt she was getting close after two coffee dates, would be away with Draymond Friday and Saturday but home in time for the wedding. Bri was hopeful Dray might condescend to fuck her a few times on their overnight to Pittsburgh.

Draymond? Did not even bother to mention to Briana what everyone now knew, that he had been fucking my wife non-stop, or at least whenever he felt like making time for it, ever since that day with Eric. Expected his wife just to suck it up. Which Bri did. She still wanted to be a good wife.

Arlene? Complicated. Her main concern was that any children would be white. Not necessarily white complected, but white legally. In our conservative society even one drop of white makes you legally white. Did Stony know that? She did.

I never realized till then how strong my girl was. She told me cooly how she'd shot down her Mom, how she never gave an inch, how she put Mom, excuse me, Arlene, in her place. Which would have been something to see.

It made me feel guilty, what she was giving up for me, her having white children. Made me tremble.

Stony could see what I was feeling. She glared at me and said, "Don't make me take the switch to your ass now, boy. You know I will. Listen Buster," and again I was surprised at this usage, perhaps she thought it was my middle name or something?, "Listen! We're getting married. We love each other. I adore you. And you damn well know that you adore me. I'm going to be your wife whether the kids turn out purple or maroon or the yellow in Alicia's panties, which, by the way, were really cute. Do you get that?"

I nodded meekly.

"Then don't make me do it. The switch I used on Mom's behind is right over there, nice flexible one I cut from the beech in her back yard. Nice action on her. You cross me and I'll use it again."

So we kissed and made up and I tried not being a pussy about it. Just how strong is this girl? Is she made from titanium or something? I was starting to realize I'd be marrying a SuperWoman like in the tales of old, a girl with strange powers and the will of a God. It made me tremble again, but this time I trembled with love. Stony read me, smiled and decided I would not need that switching.

After all that we kissed and hugged some more. Stony had to go out again with Bri to get some alterations on her wedding dress. Before leaving she remembered one more thing.

"You know that Mogumbo chick?"

"Yeah, unfortunately I do. Just read her piece on Alicia's win."

"Well, I have no idea what it means but you should know she called me twice yesterday on my cell phone. Called me in the afternoon before Pharaoh began. I let both ring through, couldn't see f—ing up Alicia's day with Gumby writing about me as the other woman. OK?"

"More than OK. Thank you. Let's both stay away from her." I told Stony about the uncomfortable conversation I'd had with Mogumbo on the flight home. If she's calling Stony she must know about us and the divorce too.

Bri blew in looking like a gazillion kroner, as we say. She and I were able to kiss and hug and touch a bunch while Stony powdered her nose. Mmmm. Nice kid that Bri. Not at all crazy you ask me. Then the girls left hand in hand on their errands. My loves. My love.

It was good for me. I had two calls I wanted to do privately and this gave me the chance.

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The first call, and don't criticize, was to Scots Willy. I knew I needed a best man. Who else could I choose?

"Och! I'l be sae happy tae dae it fur ye. Is ma claes fae th' ither nicht appropriate? I thanked him and said the outfit he'd worn at dinner would be fine. I had my man.

The second call was to Klara Glockenspiel. I needed wedding rings, needed them in a hurry. Stony might not have cared, she never mentioned it, but I figured, what with her being a girl and all, she probably did care and I knew I cared even if she didn't. So I pulled out the card and dialed the number.

"Hello! Klara's Klit Klutch, formerly Schöne Zunge. Klara speaking. How may I help you?"

"Hi Klara, this is Jeff, Jeff Rochef..."

"Jeff! Oh-my-God. So weird. I was just about to pick up the phone to call you! So exciting! Congratulations my friend!"

"Yes, thank you, I..."

"I'm watching last night with Heinrich and his cousin Freybold and Alicia comes on, she was so incredibly beautiful, we all knew she was going to win, and then we see her flash her tongue and it was like Oh-my-God that's us, that's our ring, and the three of us running around high-fiving and screaming, and we all think this could be so good for business, like if..."

"Yes. Yes, you should ask her about that when she gets back."

"Because Oh-my-God to have an actual Pharaoh-girl endorse our product and we already have some stills of her flashing we could use and it would be so awesome and we'll pay her of course, because..."

"Yes, of course. But listen. I called for a different reason."

"Oh Jeff. Please. Whatever you guys need. I just knew you'd want to get her something nice for when she returns. I'm thinking the tit-clit package that goes with her Quiet Slave tongue, or even tit-earring or even all three, second tit free when you buy the package, hey, it's time to celebrate, or maybe she's ready for Droit de Seigneur, sends a message and..."

"Aaah. Well actually, no. It's not...well," I almost hated to break it to her, "not for Alicia."

"Huh? Not...?"

I went into the explanation. About me and Alicia. About Stony. About the wedding. Klara seemed unable to comprehend what I was saying. Kept thinking I might be mixed up. Thought for a while that Stony was just some new nickname I had for Alicia. Thought it might be a ha-ha divorce cause Pharaoh sort of owned Alicia now. Who, after all, would real-divorce a Pharaoh-girl?

In the background I heard Heinrich's voice, "Wer zum Teufel hält dich so lange am Telefon?" but she ignored it.

It took a while but I finally got her settled down, got her to understand that what I needed were wedding bands, his and hers, engraved on the inner loop with Stony's and my initials, a heart and the wedding date. But I needed them right away, by Sunday, and could Heinrich do something like that for us?

Klara seemed skeptical. Wedding bands? Why? Maybe my new girl, she still couldn't bring herself to believe in her, would rather have her tits done? We hashed that out. Finally she heard me and agreed that since I was an existing customer, and since I might still be able to help persuade Alicia to endorse, you know, for old time's sake, that yes, probably Heinrich could do it. I gave her the sizes and asked for plain silver bands. I could pick them up Sunday morning at the shop.

That settled I began to wind her down with a small talk thing. "I see you did the name change, English at least."

"Yeah. Like it? Had to work like a son of a gun persuading Heinrich." She paused. "Hey! Why'd you say at least?"

"Aah. I don't know. It's nice but...maybe a little overly specific? The clit thing?"

"What do you mean? We do clits." I was afraid now I'd wandered into upsetting her.

"I just wouldn't use Klit in the name. I mean some nice guy wants a tit ring or a tongue ring for his fiancee, he's not going to Klara's Klit Klutch, figures you guys are only into clits, like clit specialists or something."

"Oh goodness. I never thought of that."

"Keep it a bit more general."

"Hmmmm. You might be right. I see your point. So maybe just Klara's Klutch?"

"Well, even that. Why Klutch? Sounds like you're selling purses or pocketbooks or something."

"Oh poopy! How do you know these things? You mean I have to start all over, change it again? Heinie's gonna kill me." There was a frantic tone to her voice.

"How about just Klara's? You know with..."

"Not that, Jeff. No one will have any idea what we do if it's just my name. Maybe we sell bicycles or dolls or aluminum siding, right?"

"I was about to say you add a kind of logo thing below your name. Something like Klara's — specialists in intimate jewelry for your woman. See?"

She thought it over. "Hmmm. Interesting. I see your point, but girls."

"Girls what?"

"I mean we'd use girl not woman. Woman could be like some 40 year old wife. No dude gonna be shopping a clit ring for his 40 year old wife. Our market is girls, say 18 to 22, sweet spot. Dude all excited about sliding down her panties on the night of the wedding and finding some sparkle down there, or on her tit. Right?"

"Ummm..."

"Wait. I got it. Klara's — intimate jewelry for your girl. That way we cover husbands, boyfriends, fiancees, but also dads and even moms. Dad wants to dress up his 20 year old daughter a bit, help her find her guy, puts some tit rings on her and buys her a tight sweater. Or her mom, for a wedding present, or for her 18th birthday, splurges a clit ring for her. Right?"

"I guess."

"No guessing. It works. I can see them lining up now. Thanks so much for the advice Jeff. You, my friend, are a pretty sharp guy." Klara sighed and said, "Now to go back and sell Heinrich again."

"You'll do it Klara. You're a natural at sales if you ask me."

"Thanks. We'd make a good team you and me."

I laughed and said, "Some other life honey. You'll have the rings for me?"

"I will. Gonna do 10% off for your good advice. Get you more for your new bride you help me convince Alicia. Hope you two still tight after all this."

"Thanks Klara, gotta run, thanks and nice chatting with you."

"Bye Jeff. I'd love to meet your Stony too. Bring her in for her tongue at least. You won't regret it."

"Bye Klara."

So that was another thing off my mind.

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Stony and Bri got back around 6, exhausted but happy. She had her dress now, hidden from me of course. I made the three of us my World Supremo tacos. Bri left right after to pick up Dray at the airport. Stony and I made love, God bless this girl, and were asleep by 9. Another big day tomorrow.

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***Friday September 6, 2304***

All we had to do on Friday was get me divorced, close on the house, junk Stony's car, and finalize plans for the wedding. Only that.

And guess what? Went like a charm from beginning to end.

At the divorce, which I went to alone, the judge had only one question. "What makes you say she's a pain in the ass? Girl is down Tahiti now getting Pharaohed, woulda thought you'd be proud."

"Oh, I am judge. Of that. It's just you know she's around she gets on my case about little things." Which isn't exactly true and I will apologize to Alicia about this as soon as possible.

"Like what?"

"Like..." I was trying to think on my feet. The lawn? The garbage? Dishes? Constant blowjob and fuck demands?

"Oh, never mind. I'm gonna grant the divorce anyway. We always do."

"Thank you, Your Honor."

"Well, I just hope you know what you're doing. Girl with Pharaoh talents I myself would be loathe...hey, you got any nudes of your wife?"

"Not on me."

"Any at home you could..."

"No, Your Honor, not really. Her photos with Pharaoh will be out in a couple of months."

He shrugged his shoulders and said, "Righto then. Divorce granted. Good luck boy."

He signed the papers, we shook hands and I left.

=======================

The closing was even easier. A Mr. Will R. Finklestein and Mrs. Whazy B. Finklestein. Good looking couple, early 20's by the look of them. Money from her Dad kind of like me and Alicia a while back. Not once but twice did they point out to Stony and me that they were so close that where there was a Will there was a Whay, which we found immeasurably droll. They were buying the place furnished and I told them we'd be out no later than Monday morning. Mrs. Finklestein wanted my pledge that the bed we were leaving was the actual bed in which Alicia fucked. Mr. Finklestein wanted to know was Alicia really the cocksucker they said she was or was that all a bunch of Hollywood B.S. for the rubes. I was able to assure them on both points and they seemed satisfied. We signed a lot of papers and got our money.

As we left a thought occurred to me. "I'm gonna throw in one extra, free of charge. A friend named Woodrow."

They were excited when I explained.

"Oh-my-God it was in her pussy? Actually in her cunt?" asked Will.

I nodded and Stony said, "Mine too, for what it's worth. Two for one."

"Oh-my-God. A Pharaoh-girl and a black girl? Ohhhhh-myyyyy-God," said Whazy.

We were able to leave them pretty happy. It was a lot of money, but I still think they got a great deal.

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After that we drove both our cars to the junk yard. Good bye to Stony's junker. Weirdly we both teared up as they drove her over to the crusher. We knew without her faulty charm manifold none of this might ever have happened. Funny how life turns on these little things.

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We went home and started packing. Stony already had her own bags from home set. So she packed Alicia's personal belongings, basically her wardrobe and jewelry. Alicia's Dad was coming to pick them up tomorrow. I packed my things.

We were ready for bed when Stony said, "That paisley bra of hers. It's looks brand new, still in the package. You know we're basically the same size. I'm not saying mine are as nice, just same size."

Odd.

"You think...I'm not trying to be a jerk here...you think she'd miss it if...you know the matching panties too...miss it if I...like...just took those?"

I looked at my love coldly. "Stony, my girl, don't make me take the switch to your ass now. The nice flexible one, the one you used on your Mom. It's right over there behind that door and if I take it out you're..."

Badass. Stony giggled. I kissed her. We fell into bed and were asleep two minutes later.