Relative Deviant Ch. 05

I was smiling when I flung off the remaining drops and pulled the flush lever. When I turned to exit, my way was blocked by a tall, thin figure, likewise smiling and again depositing her blonde locks behind her ears. It must have been her tell. No way she stumbled in her by accident, like I almost did. She practically oozed with duplicitous intent.

"More than three shakes is a sin." She japed, stepping into the lavatory light.

"I'm guessing you're not lost," I said, closing in and locking lips with her again. Lifting her ass cheeks, I spun ninety degrees and planted her on the sink. We made out hungrily while I stroked up and down her gaunt trunk and legs. She offered no resistance, my fingers roamed free, squeezing the plush padding of her brassiere.

Her knees straddled my hips, causing her skirt to ride up. I took the occasion to reach underneath just to see how far she'd let me go. My manual expedition yielded both exciting and, uh... ...unusual findings.

"No panties," I thought upon initial inspection, with which I was very pleased. As I palpated further, things didn't quite feel as expected. Instead of the tight little scallop, I was accustomed to, my palm was met by a lot more of something.

For a second, embarrassingly, I thought I might have come across a little secret that she wasn't quite ready to reveal. Perhaps she went in there to use the urinal as well. My fingers, undeterred, braved on and I soon discovered that I was holding a half-handful of vulva. Apparently, she wasn't built like any of the females I had been with and was cursed or maybe blessed with these long, protruding labia.

Either way, I was glad she never knew what I was thinking. We sucked face for an obscenely long time while I worked to unravel the Gordian Knot between her thighs. Once I found her entrance, it was hot, creamy and amiable. She let out a squealing pant as I burrowed one finger inside and moaned as I returned with two.

Back to an open door in a crowded bar, I finger blasted that bitch with reckless abandon. Her salacious cries where loud enough to be heard over the music, at least to those nearby. Her teeth sunk into the meat of my shoulder only goading me to fuck harder and faster. My palm was drenched in her slimy excretions and her pussy let off an odor that, while positively identifiable as pussy, was strong and different from any other I'd smelled.

Short, fast she sucked in small amounts of air as she climaxed. Her body spasmed and her legs clinched tight against me. I kept pace right through it, slinging a now waterier discharge all over the sink and floor.

When she was finished, she shoved me back and planted her feet on the floor. Wobbling over to the stall, I wasn't sure if she was about to puke, so I closely followed. Once inside, she took a few deep breaths to compose herself, unzipped her skirt and turned around. Like a deja vu, she squatted and relieved herself.

She had the legs of a ballerina. Her thighs rippled as she hovered over the seat showing me some details I missed when I was hiding in the shower. Taking a long strip of TP, she folded it neatly thrice, raised up slightly and reached around her backside. The thick, meaty lips of her most uncommon vagina capitulated as she gave them a solid swabbing and fell back, subtly dangling as she covered back up.

"I don't exactly need an audience to take a piss." She snottily declared.

"Well, there's a ladies' room across the way. I might be wrong, but I'm guessing that's not the main reason you came in here. Is it?" I asserted.

"You're right. We never got a chance to settle on an arrangement." She said, getting down to business.

"Oh, you were serious." I surmised. "What did you have in mind?"

"Help me get my shot." She stated plainly.

"What? With Stacy?" I asked.

The click of boots on linoleum halted our debate. I latched the stall door closed letting the stranger know it was occupied and she sat on the toilet tank leaving only one pair of boots visible. It was advantageous that in order to keep up the illusion, I needed to stand near the bowl. Again, that close to her, I helped myself to some more kissing and petting.

The sound of him pissing gave us just enough cover to whisper, so she continued making her case. "Get me alone with her." She pleaded.

"Really?" I hissed. My fingers again fumbling at her crotch, I found the crease and ran them up and down one good time. "I thought I'd made you forget all that stuff."

The stranger flushed and she, a little louder reenforced. "I want my shot with her, and you are going to help me. Talk me up some; reassure her that nobody is going to turn their back on her. And, for God's sake, guarantee me some alone time. That's all I want."

Certain we were alone, I spoke up. "First question: What makes you think that will work?"

"I don't." She admitted. "If I don't find out for sure, though..."

"Okay, okay, you're going to get me all misty eyed." I jabbed. She gave me a punch to the chest for my insolence. Holding my hands up, I resigned. "Fine then, secondly, how am I supposed to do all this. She's half in the bag now and by the way I'm leaving.

"Tomorrow," she blurted out. "Stacy said your aunt and uncle have to go to some church thing downtown."

"So, I've heard." I said patronizing.

"She had this idea to sneak back in after they were gone." She continued.

"Yeah, she mentioned it to me, so what?" I huffed. "Shit, if you really want time alone with her, that's your chance. Why the hell do you want me around."

"She isn't valiant enough to try it alone, not without you. Plus, you'd be our alibi to her folks. She was going to have you pick us up at her parent's place and our story would be that we were hanging out with you."

As the sheer brilliance of the scheme was being uncovered, I started to look at Shay differently. The dumb, slutty blonde persona was a total rouse. She was part Machiavelli, part Rasputin the way she worked the situation and all those involved; me especially.

"So, the three of us just hang out in the pool and at some point, I'm supposed to corner her, tell her what a catch you are and then keep look out while you guys go bump donuts?"

"Something like that." She granted. "You can get liquor, right?"

"I've been known to procure certain things from time to time." I inaccurately quoted from Shawshank.

"Great, get some... ...I don't care what. Just bring something to help us take the edge off."

I straightened my posture, crossed my arms, giving off a somewhat indignant look. "The most important question is..." I stroked my chin and narrowed my eyelids. "What's in it for me?"

"Psh, anything," she said flippantly, waving her hand, limp wristed over her head.

"Anything, huh?" I suggestively asked. "You might not know it to look at me, but I have a pretty wild imagination. Anything could mean, like anything."

"Name it," she boldly proclaimed.

"Oh, I'll need time to think it through, but believe me," I warned. "That's quite a blank check. I don't want you getting cold feet when it's time to put your money where your mouth is."

"I promise, win or lose; if you get me my shot with her," she declared. Her tone shifted from matter of fact to lusty submissive. "...you can put whatever you want where my mouth is."

With that, she took, my right hand in hers, looking me right in the eyes. Closing them, she plunged three fingers right into her mouth. Two of those three were recently deep in her very pungent vaginal canal.

Putting on a show, she nodded up and down, exaggerating her neck movements. Moaning, she mimicked what she was suggesting she would do for me. With a long, drawn-out slurp, she withdrew them and locked eyes again.

Before I could propose a down payment on her end of the deal, she vacated the stall. I was left ungratified, but mostly perplexed by Shay's proposal. Was this going to happen? Could I really lure my closest cousin into a homoerotic escapade with this fast little fox? Chances are she's trying to pull one over on me. Most likely girls would be so bored and hung over tomorrow they'd forget the whole thing.

"Who knows?" I thought. She surely had my curiosity piqued. Ultimately, I decided on not getting my hopes and seeing just how things went down.

* * * * * *

Mom had been sitting up waiting for me at the dining room table. When I came in, I tried being stealthy as not to wake anybody. The sound of my name bellowing down the hallway, however, dashed my hopes of slipping in undetected. I went ahead to face what was sure to be a shrill tongue lashing for sneaking out. The beer on my breath would only make things worse.

The dining room was a somber scene. She herself was a few cocktails into a binge, looking somewhat dejected. She didn't seem angry or even concerned at all that I had skipped out earlier.

"So, your Aunt Teri called," she began.

"I know, Mom." I stated. "I know why, too." She shot me a disappointed look. "I'm sorry. She told me earlier, but I didn't have the courage to bring it to you. I know what it means. I just couldn't deal with it right then." I said, bearing my soul.

"It's alright, son. I'm not exactly coping in a healthy way either." She said with a shrug.

"Any idea what we do now? I mean, I know Danny can't be trusted to be here alone. Neither of us could exactly give up working." I rehashed.

"I know, I know. Don't remind me how screwed your aunt left us." With a long sigh, she continued. "We might have some options, but none of them are appealing. The best one might be Karen, if she's up to it."

"Karen?" I said, baffled. "How can she help? She works with you."

"Let me explain. They're taking her ankle tracker thing off, but she still can't get her license back until after the trial. Lately she's been begging and borrowing left and right trying to get a ride to work every day. I was going to offer to her to stay here during the week and we could commute together." She gulped before continuing. "The girls are home all day too and..."

"Whoa mother, her kids? You're suggesting we start a daycare. That's the exact opposite of a solution." I argued.

Karen had three girls about two years between each. It wasn't long ago; I was their sitter over the summer. I was, at least until Mom caught on to Karen being sweet on me. She made sure to put a stop to that shit before anything ever started.

"Watch your tone with me, son." She warned. "Anyway, Tracy is eleven now and she keeps the other two at Karen's momma's house. I figure they can all stay here and even though she's younger than Danny, at least she could call somebody."

"Strike one! What else you got?" I retorted. "How do you suggest we stay sane with a house full of girls running around?

"Can it," she ordered. "It's not a pretty plan, but it's something. We just need to limp along another month or so until school starts back."

"Dammit Aunt Teri!" I cried. "What do you say I crank call her from a pay phone? I could tell her I was from the adoption agency and her old family wants her back." I said laughing.

"What? Where did you hear that?" Mom sternly inquired.

"From Stacy, she said it was like a running joke with dad and them." I confessed. "Why? Hadn't you heard that?"

"Oh Stacy, okay," she said, seeming somewhat relieved. "Yeah, I heard that old story a thousand times."

"Mom," I said soberly. "There's nothing to it, right?"

"Guess it'd depend on who you ask." She cheekily belted out. "Wouldn't matter anyway. She's been your aunt and practically my sister for as long as you've walked this earth. Nothing would change that, ever."

Emboldened by the fact that my mother was feeling her spirits, I pried a little more. "...but, Mom, is there anything to it?'

"Anything is possible, I guess." She, again blew off the question, but seeing the look on my face, she gave in. "Your Nanny used to keep foster babies. That, I think is where they came up with all that crap. Some of the kids were old enough to remember babies coming and going. They probably all wondered if they were adopted.

"She had ten kids. How the hell could she be approved to foster more kids?

"Well, smart ass, she didn't have 'em all at once. When you Aunt Geri and some of the older ones were little, Nanny would take on a baby now and then. It was always temporary. The system makes sure of that, so nobody gets too attached."

"I never knew that. Do you think there's a chance they'd even allow a formal adoption; or if one of my aunts or uncles, maybe even Dad might be adopted?"

"It happens with the foster system all the time, yeah. None of them babies were adopted, though. Besides, even if they were, we'll never know for sure. Your pawpaw took every secret he had to the grave and with your Nanny's Alzheimer's... ...you won't get anything out of her either; nothing reliable anyway."

She turned her glass up and slurped down the rest, mostly consisting of melted ice. Then she rattled the remaining cubes around in the tumbler and stood. "I'm off to bed." She said, then belched. "Excuse me," she said, placing her glass in the sink. She then waddled off to her room.

Figuring I needed to do the same, I made the trek upstairs and threw myself onto the mattress. I took each article of clothing off one at a time and tossed them in the same general area of the floor in my dark room. Lying there in my shorts, I mulled over the past twenty-four hours and how much had gone down.

I had woken that day spooning my lover only to be fucked by and fucked over by her later. Seeing Stacy, especially that much of Stacy, was quite a thrill. Not once but twice, did I display some unexpectedly skillful fingerbanging, much to the delight of those lucky young ladies.

Debating on whether to masturbate or not was a tough one. Should I celebrate all the glorious nudity and sexy experiences I had that day? Perhaps it was wise to save my juices in hopes that a smart, sassy blonde might want to make well on a long promise she made. Ultimately, I dozed off with my hand down the front of my boxers.

* * * * * *

Sunday started out lazily, which turned out to be a mixed blessing at best. My weary body was in dire need of recharging. At the same time, the grief I had been avoiding would finally be allotted my full attention.

Early on, I just stayed in my room. Activities included staring at a wall, squeezing a tennis ball and sometimes crying like a girl that got stood up for prom. I kept the radio on, thought I didn't really even hear it. It did double duty, both as background noise and drowning out the sound of me muttering to myself. Truly, I was a pitiful sight.

I never held out much hope of hearing from the girls. By noon, I'd forgotten even having any. That was fine. I wasn't sure how well I could have kept this wa-wa party tamped down.

Reflecting on the night before did put me in good spirits, however fleeting. Shay was beautiful, witty and it was fun flirting with her. Even though I was warned she was a slut, it was nice showing an unfamiliar girl some attention and having it pay off.

Of course, I thought of Stacy. If I had a stroke right that minute and lost half my brain capacity, I guarantee the picture of her dressing in front of me would survive. She had been in quite a state the night before and was most likely nursing a mammoth headache. The notion to call and check on her occurred to me, but, again, I was in no mood.

With refreshed images of a nude Stacy and nearly nude Shay on the brain, it also occurred to me that it might be time to put them to good use. Perchance, taming the trouser snake might be a good remedy for my blues. Seemed logical; a hearty dose of dopamine could at least clear my head and loosen me up a bit. Convinced I was onto a good idea, a knock at the door took me out of the moment.

"Yeah," I called out.

"Phone," Danny hollered back.

"Okay, be right there."

Pretty sure it would be Tiffany, calling to check on my 'tummy ache,' I hurried down. If I wasn't drowning in my feels, I'd have reached out and tried to make things right with her already. All this heartache and fancying about women I had no business with made me forget that I had a perfectly good one already.

"Great," I thought. "Let's toss a guilt log on the emotional bonfire."

I trudged downstairs trying to think of how to get on Tiffany's good side after such a thinly veiled excuse to bail on her. The receiver sat face-up on the breakfast nook table. I placed it to my ear and tried to sound cordial.

"Hey-eee," I said cheerily.

"Hey," my cousin's voice said back.

"Oh Stacy, what's up?"

"What do you mean, 'what's up?' I said I was gunna call and we'd hang out." She said, unusually annoyed. "Did you forget?"

"No, I just... ...you never said when. I thought you guys had just gotten into something else."

"Naw, cuz. I'd never do that." She answered.

If I hadn't picked up on the fact that she was already quite buzzed, then her very specific request would probably have clued me in. She wanted to know if I could pick up wine coolers. Not just any wine coolers. It had to be the four pack of Bartles and Jaymes light, berry.

"Sure, I'll try." I stated. "If they don't have that one, what else do you want?"

"No, no, it has to be that one, the light berry four pack. Please, please, please! I really need you to come through for me, cuz." She insisted. "...and then come on and get us, we're bored."

"Okay, Scout's honor, I'll get it." I promised.

* * * * * *

I did my liquor shopping, making sure to get a wide selection of poisons and mixers. Of course, I was sure to get Stacy's girly sodas. Visiting with my aunt and uncle for a minute was to be expected, but soon we were off to Aunt Geri's under some thin alibi that Stacy gave her folks.

The wine coolers, I found out, were to replace the ones she stole out of the fridge earlier to squelch what turned out to be a booger of a hangover. After the girls guzzled down all four, they were in a pinch, and they were counting on me to bail them out. Small talk with my aunt and uncle doubled as a diversion so they could sneak the replacement beverages in and have them in place before getting busted.

We wasted no time. Once at the party pad, I set up bar in the kitchen. I served all the college chick fav's; seven and sevens, buttery nipples, rum and Coke, you name it. Clearly being a ways behind the ladies, I poured myself two tequilas and shoved the bottle into the back of the freezer.

Shay at one point cornered me. "You do remember our deal, right?"

"Yeah," I affirmed. "Is this you backing out?"

"Not a chance. I get what I want and you..." she pulled my hand over placing it on her ass. "...you get what you want."

"Well, if you're game then I'm game. We'd better make with the festivities. Looks like I have work to do." I told her.

We blasted the stereo, danced and drank. All the while I was trying to get my head around the task I was placed on. I'd have to make the case to my cousin, who already denied being a lesbian that it was okay with me and the rest of the family if she were a lesbian. Further, I'd have to convince her that it might be a good idea to give the whole lifestyle a test run. And while she's at it, Shay would be the obvious person to lead her on this journey... ...like now, like while I wait in the truck or something.

"I need another shot." I thought.

Nobody seemed to have missed me while I went to self-medicate. Upon returning, Stacy had found a decorative bottle on the mantle and suggested we play spin the bottle. Shay was just as enthusiastic, leaving me the only partyer not quite on board.

"Ah, that's kind of dumb. Don't you think? There's three of us." I pointed out.

"I know," said Stacy. "It's fun, though."