All Comments on 'Sibling Benefits Ch. 05'
by unnnf
- 14 Comments
The relationship in your story feels a bit too forced for me to enjoy. It <i>should</i> be erotic - there's nothing I like more than a bro-sis incest fantasy. In a sense, it is erotic, but makes me anxious, too, which ruins the eroticism.<br><br>I had a very similar relationship with my sister. It felt mutual at the time. Sure, I was hinting and persuading, but I really thought she was making the choice to go along willingly. Only, she wasn't. She had sex with me because I wanted it. She didn't want her big brother to be upset with her. Now I have to live with that. Worst of all, <u>she</u> has to live with it.<br><br>My lust should have stayed a fantasy. So far in your story, YOU are getting all of the benefits. If she falls hard for you, and vice versa, then no probs. <i>That</i> is erotic!
to forcful he would be real stupid to move so fast and forcful because she would not hesitate to call their parents and tell on him then he would be in deep shit totally unrealistic story it should have been played out over several months if not the whole school year not a few days or weeks keep it realistic and believable please
I would tend to agree with others that you are trying to cramp too much activity and a bit of force into your story but having said that I like the story very much. After having a similar experience, which I might add was spread over a number of years I can say that in my experience to much coersion can result in negative vibes. Like all women, sisters included you definately need to give her time to "get into it" and accept each stage, some of it obviously comes from her own desire and some with a bit of coaching given the experience level. You do sound as if you have had a real experience and that shows through in some details in your writing, keep it going, its great.
Rob
I loved it, though the story needs a bit more backstory. Maybe its just my preference, but all im seeing here is him thinking aobut her and them in bed, throw some more things into the story to describe how they feel rather than just tell us his thoughts.
Wonderful story so far, but where is the next chapter. Please finish this story. It has been too long since this last chapter.
One of the few stories that brought my soldier to full attention without it being touched. Good writing, I'll need to read more of your work.
either rewrite it removing all force and pressure or just delete it. as is it isn't worth the space it takes up and deserves a negative vote.
All he's doing is dominating his little sister to get himself off; she never initiated anything, it's all about his urges, how much he needs to get off, nothing about what he's doing to his kid sister. None of this feels consensual, I get the feeling she's putting up with it because she feels he'd kick her out if she didn't cave-in to his pressuring her to get him off. He's grooming her, making her ready to have sex with him, pure and simple, he's a rapist, and she's a helpless victim. I kept reading, hoping it would become more caring and consensual as the story progressed, but it never materialized. I gave you one star across the board, this story is too repellent for anything higher.
why even publish if you have no intention of finishing the story. I was enjoying the build up but you seem to have left your readers hanging.