Summer College Surprises

(Note to Readers: This is an entry in the Summer Lovin' Contest, so please read and vote and comment and do whatever you do in a contest. All sex acts, within the story events and referred to outside the story events, involve characters who are at least 18 years old. All of the sex is straight and vanilla, two people at a time. The story is set in the U.S.A. in the summer of 2021. The two main characters are NOT conventionally attractive, and they have mental health issues. Don't say you weren't warned.)

***

Ziri pushed back the screen door and clomped onto the front porch. She asked, "What's a nudist's biggest problem?"

Eldon could tell that she already had an answer, so he said, "People pointing and laughing."

Tess, rocking slowly on the porch swing, said, "Butt crack sunburn."

Arch didn't look up from his phone. "Society's laws." As always from him, relevant but not funny.

Ziri declared, "Finding a place to sit!" She let fall to the porch a small but bulky thing with straps. Triumphantly she added, "Problem solved!"

Eldon leaned to peer at whatever it was. "Are those my seat cushions?"

"Uh huh," said Ziri, nodding.

Arch looked over. "Those are backpack straps."

"Yeah," said Ziri, looking at him. "They were yours." She turned quickly to Tess. "And your white bath towel is in here. So you all contributed, which is why we'll share equally the fortune this will earn. But I get full credit for being the inventor."

The loud objections of her housemates delayed Ziri's explanation of how the swiped stuff solved a problem for people unknown to them.

The noise brought out Mrs. Driscoll from the kitchen. She wiped her hands on her apron and said, "What's all the fuss about?" in a voice that wasn't loud but always got immediate attention.

"Ziri--just plain stole stuff from us!" Tess spluttered. The presence of the house's co-owner made Tess take this further. "You should kick her out. Hell, we should call the cops!" Eldon and Arch shouted agreement.

"Let's calm down," said Mrs. Driscoll, holding out a placating hand. The others obeyed instantly, not sure why they did, but she had that effect on them. "Ziri, did you steal from them?"

"I took their things without asking," Ziri replied. "But as I just told--"

"Then make it up to them. That way we don't have to bring in the police." The look on her face showed that Mrs. Driscoll definitely didn't want the police on her property. She and her husband complied with the town's arcane law that allowed them to run a boarding house near the college campus, but she still wanted no trouble.

Ziri spoke with urgent speed. "I needed the stuff now, I had to see if this worked! And I was fair, so all three would--"

"Make it up to them," said Mrs. Driscoll. Same volume, more intense gaze.

Ziri exhaled, and looked at Tess. "I'll buy you three white towels." To Arch: "You can pick out a new backpack, yours had holes in it, the straps practically came off--"

"Find one on your phone," Mrs. Driscoll told Arch. "Send the link to Ziri, she'll pay for it." She looked at Eldon. "What'd she take from you?"

"Two seat cushions from the Tri-City Tornado," said Eldon, getting more upset. "A giveaway from two years ago. The team went out of business, because of COVID-19! The cushions are collectable! She can't replace--"

Mrs. Driscoll held out her own phone, already on a sports memorabilia site. "Show me how much they're worth."

Eldon ran out of steam. "I use them, uh, when I go to games on campus." Tess's laugh deflated him further. "Sentimental value?"

"Ziri, you owe him ten dollars. I'm not kicking you out, but you better learn some impulse control." Mrs. Driscoll looked at whatever it was that Ziri had dropped on the porch. "So what is this thing that caused so much trouble?"

"The Neat Seat!" said Ziri, picking it up with a proud smile. "That's the best name I've thought up so far. I haven't done the trademark search yet, but I know it's better than The Carcass Parker--"

"And it's for what?"

"Well, imagine you're a nudist, but you--"

"I will not imagine that," said the landlady.

Eldon, fundamentally a horny guy, couldn't help looking at Mrs. Driscoll and imagining that for her. She was tall, and lean and fit for a mother of four. She and Mr. Driscoll were always formal and polite around their boarders. But, thirty years married, and four kids, and him even taller, also lean and fit...

"But you want to be a good person," Ziri pressed on, putting her arms through the straps with the rest of the bulk on her upper back.

"A good person?" said Eldon. "Like, someone who respects other people's property?"

Ziri ignored that. "And keep your butt away from furniture. When you're hiking, you don't want to rest on top of twigs and rocks and bugs." She fastened the crosspiece between the straps, just below her collarbone, and started gesturing freely, to show that The Neat Seat didn't confine her.

"It's a fucking infomercial," Tess muttered.

Ziri grinned, and played that up in her voice tone. "But now you can be naked, and still have what you need to sit down, without distress to yourself or anyone else." She elevated her spine to show that the front of her torso would be away from all of the straps, and able to commune with nature, were it not for her Aeropostale t-shirt.

"The rough nylon of the straps is lined with felt, providing soft contact to bare skin." Ziri twisted the straps to show this. "There's also felt between the plastic of the seat exterior and the wearer's back, to limit sweat and stickiness."

"Where'd you get the felt?" asked Arch darkly.

"I have lots of sewing stuff," Ziri said, taking no offense, as she undid the cross strap and shucked off the burden. "Like these zippers." She was already unzipping it while setting down the construct that was based on two square, foam-filled seat cushions. The zippers, with their tops together, connected the cushion stack on three sides. The other side was secured, more or less, with duct tape.

Ziri crouched to open The Neat Seat, revealing the white towel sewn onto the cushions. "Simply unzip The Neat Seat," said Ziri, returning to her pitch, "set it flat on the ground, or a chair, get the straps out of the way, and sit on the comfort of plush cotton backed with foam rubber." She did just that, cross-legged, contacting the towel with her cargo shorts and a small amount of leg skin.

"Couldn't you just carry a towel around?" asked Tess. Seeing Ziri about to shoot that down, Tess quickly added, "Or tie a towel around your waist, to keep your hands free?"

"This is better for afterwards!" Ziri stood, and picked up the seat. "When you get up, simply zip the seat closed, and anything that might have migrated from your nether region is tucked away from contact with you, or anyone, or anything else." With a dramatic flourish, Ziri closed the zippers, put her arms through the straps, and strode down the porch steps. Then, with an about face, she ascended the steps while saying, "And when you get home, simply remove the cotton seat liner and put it in your next hygienic laundry load."

"And if you call in the next ten minutes," said Eldon, trying for the same voice, "We'll send you a second Nudist Asswipe at no additional charge!"

Ziri shot him A Look, but still smiled.

Deciding that the incident was over, Mrs. Driscoll looked at all four and said, "Our house rules still call for proper attire, so nobody will be using this here. And if anyone goes out streaking, don't call us to bail you out." She returned to the house. Eldon thought he saw a smile curl her lip.

***

Ziri Klefstadt, majoring in Business & Economics, had been especially amped by her spring-trimester class in Entrepreneurship. She followed what she'd learned about starting a business, by hatching an idea for the business to pursue. She pursued the idea from scribbles to designs (some of them dead ends), and finally to her mockup Neat Seat.

That night, long after the front porch kerfuffle, she gave the mockup a more direct test in her bedroom.

She doffed her cargos and underwear, set the Neat Seat on the hardwood floor, opened it, and sat on it, with her knees up and feet flat on the floor.

It felt okay. Her butt was, like much of her body, soft. The towel was comfortable for direct contact. The foam cushioned her weight. The firmness of the floor was blunted.

She crossed her legs, to check on the effects of different postures.

That changed her points of contact with the seat.

The fluffy towel tickled her labia.

Damn, she thought, losing her focus on the project. The excitement of inventing became physical. Do I have to jill off?

The bathroom was far down the hall. Recalling Mrs. Driscoll's warning, Ziri knew she'd have to dress to leave the room. More lost focus, more wasted time.

This is a part of the research, she told herself. Nudists must get aroused all the time, despite what they claim. Once you close the zippers, what happened on The Neat Seat, stays in The Neat Seat.

She started rubbing her clitoris. She was only dimly aware of this as a sex act. Her virginity didn't matter to her. She didn't fantasize when she masturbated, she sought only to get it over with and return to what she had been thinking.

A couple minutes later she pulled up one of the straps and bit down on it, muffling her voice as it keened. Her trunk ground onto the towel as her vulva slickened her fingers. Chemicals transmitted within her brain felt good, as they usually did, but when the orgasm was over, she was relieved.

She examined the surface under her. Some secretions had spread a couple inches across the towel.

Not a problem, she thought.

Then, she was unable not to think, But what about men?

***

Eldon already had the books for the Psychology class he'd take over the summer, and he'd decided to get a head start on them that night. Like the rest of the student body, he had lost months of in-person college attendance to COVID-19 restrictions. He'd use the summer trimester to fill some of the gap.

In an hour, he'd gotten four pages into one book, then three into the other, then the same four in the first. Then he dulled into a deep dislike of both.

There was rapid knocking on his door.

Eldon was besieged equally by the thoughts, That has to be Ziri, and, Why?

When he opened the door she said, "Here's your ten dollars," and offered a sawbuck. "If you help me out with something, there's ten more."

"I'm studying."

Her head moved enough to see his desk, with its closed books, laptop, and spiral notebook. "For real?"

He slumped. "What is it?"

"Come into my room."

That put his brain on tilt. Even at his fundamentally horniest, Eldon wasn't attracted to Ziri--before that moment. Now, her apparent interest in nudism and, for some reason, in him, made Eldon assess her. Same brownish-reddish hair in an unkempt shag, same freckles and thick glasses, same general fleshiness and wide hips, usual t-shirt and cargos. Yet this time they inspired Eldon to the crass thought, Yeah, I could do that. Beneath that was the thought, Oh please yes really yes! of a male without sex for more than a year.

As she closed her door behind them, he saw her 'invention' open on the floor. This restored his annoyance with her. "I don't have any more seat cushions."

"I know," she said, tossing off her knowledge of all his worldly goods in this house.

He was both intrigued and worried as he looked at her. "So have you been...nude with it?"

"Bottom," she said. "Now it's your turn."

"Whaat?"

"I need to know about more active use of The Neat Seat."

"Active?" Now he was confused.

"I need you to masturbate on it."

Never before in Eldon's life had his emotions been so intense, while mixed. "That's, it's, how dare you?!"

She looked puzzled. "Is this a consent thing? Should I ask you?"

His gaze shifted quickly between Ziri and The Neat Seat, a few times. "This is personal, and, and, intrusive!" Now his look was baffled, and directly at her. "Is this the sort of thing you ask men all the time?"

She bristled. "No! Yuck! I only want to see if you'd shoot out past the seat."

Part of his brain decided that this couldn't get any weirder, and another part was aware of his erection. "And you think I do this in front of other people?"

"You're a man," she said. "You think about sex all the time, don't you? And if you can't screw, you masturbate, right?"

"Alone! It's not something I'm proud of!"

Ziri thought for a moment. "I have to watch. It's part of the product development process."

"And you think I'll embarrass myself for you, in exchange for ten bucks?"

"That's all I can afford. Arch's new backpack is like a Lamborghini."

Eldon was ever more curious about Ziri, someone he'd rarely thought of and didn't much like, especially after the porch incident. "You've got some weird ideas about people."

"I don't need ideas about people," she said impatiently. "I like getting ideas about things."

Recalling an earlier Psych course, Eldon asked, "Ziri, have you ever been...diagnosed?"

"Yeah, here and there on the autistic spectrum. None of your business, but pretty obvious, right?" She smiled a little. For some reason, that smile got to Eldon.

Yet he said, "Like my masturbating is none of yours."

She looked down, frowning in thought. "That's fair." She looked at him again. "But I still want you to do it. It's important to me."

His glans had pushed past the vent in his boxers, hard enough for him to feel the rigidity of joined zipper teeth. He was going to have to do it, alone or with her watching. "Important enough," he asked, "for you to encourage me?"

"Meaning what?" Her look was neutral.

"Meaning something that needs your clear consent, or I'll go and do it in private. I'm going to get naked. Will you please get naked too, and let me look at you, without you covering anything up?"

Ziri mulled that over. She had never cared if other people saw her naked, but she was okay wearing clothes, if they were comfortable. In a way she admired nudists, because she couldn't understand the big deal about hiding flesh. As for this situation, she didn't think Eldon was dangerous. "Uh, yeah, okay," she said. "But don't touch me."

"I won't," he said, starting to pant. "I'll be touching myself. Which is what you asked me to do."

"Yeah yeah consent," she said quickly. She pointed at The Neat Seat. "Strip, sit. You're a nudist hiker and you're alone, so you decide to, you know, do that."

He was nude and sitting when it occurred to him that he could have asked her to turn off the lights. Then he could 'do that' more or less in private, but with her able to assess the results later.

But at that moment Ziri pulled off her t-shirt.

Eldon froze, physically and mentally. Ziri reached behind her back, then let the plain white bra slide down her arms.

"Whoaaahh!" Eldon groaned. He leaned towards her. His right hand was stroking the shaft and his left was gripping the balls, and he didn't know when he'd started that.

Ziri shucked off her cargos and undies in one push, then looked up to study her experimental subject. And her heart started thumping. What have I done? There's a man here doing sex!

"Uh, uh," she said, "Are you okay?"

His gaze at her seemed helpless. "You could, um, lick your breast?"

Her breath quickened, interfering with her voice. I made this man naked and he wants me to play with myself! "Will that get it over with? Uh, off?"

"Yeah yeah real soon!"

She hauled up her left breast and leaned to get the nipple in her mouth. She was way more excited than when she had fingered herself. She gazed at Eldon's gawky, angular frame, ribs raying from the sternum, jutting jaw, big bony feet, and penis! A naked man, in her presence. Never before.

Her nudity, and his, became for her the big deal she had never understood, or expected. Three fingers pushed deep into her drenched vagina.

She saw white gunk spurting from his dork. His voice made a sound like the gargling of gravel. Hers made a sound like a vacuum cleaner with the hose detached.

Her brain made the chemicals again, only now they didn't wash away and leave her clear-headed. She found herself on her hands and knees, breath still ragged. This gave her a closer look at Eldon's crotch.

She straightened her glasses and surveyed the immediate vicinity. Milky drops were scattered on the floor, beyond the edges of The Neat Seat.

"So," she wheezed, recoiling, "Gross, messy men should put a handkerchief inside The Neat Seat before going out for disgusting nature walks."

"Huh?" came Eldon's voice from somewhere flat on the floor.

At that moment, the closest Ziri got to a cogent thought was, I have to do real sex soon, and get it over with.

***

The Driscoll house was a quarter mile from the campus's southern border, two blocks back from most of the fraternity and sorority houses. As the Driscolls' children grew, finished their education, and moved out, their parents converted the second-floor bedrooms for student boarders. The kids' stuff was moved to the large third floor dormer, where one kid lived part-time and another most-time.

This was the first year in which students had displaced all four kids. The boarders continued to live there after the mid-May end of the academic year, to take classes in the summer trimester.

The owners lived on the ground floor, with a large master bedroom and bath, and an office for each, in addition to the living and dining rooms and the kitchen.

There were strict house rules against tobacco and drugs. Boarders, if they were old enough, could keep beer and wine in the kitchen. Parties were not allowed on the property. Boarders could fraternize or receive guests if there was no excessive noise.

Eldon wondered if the noise he and Ziri made during their Neat Seat 'testing' was excessive. It must not have been, because there was no mention of it the next morning. Arch and Tess had gone out to a movie, so the rest of the second floor was empty at the time. The Driscolls usually watched television in the evening.

Ziri didn't think about their noise, because her brain still churned about their action. She had learned something new about herself, and not in a good way. Sex sex nude sex penis sex orgasm sex nude man woman me wet me sex, went her mental background noise. I don't hate my body, she told herself over that. Why can't it let me keep ignoring it?

Breakfast began normally, and as usual, silently. The boarders had been made into morning people by abundant scrambled eggs, corned beef hash, vegan tofu, oatmeal, potato slivers, string beans, biscuits and honey, coffee, and fresh-squeezed juice. Mrs. Driscoll provided all that with little apparent effort.

So it was a shock, especially to Ziri and Eldon, when Mr. Driscoll rumbled, "Ziri, I understand you've invented something."

"Yes," said Ziri, jolting into interaction, finding her content. "What's a nudist's biggest problem?"

"I'd like to hear about it," said the bald man at the head of the table. "Later. Would you please bring it to my office? Then you can tell me."

Interspersed with nodding, Ziri said, "Yes. Thanks. I will. Okay."

Eldon thought she looked rattled, and not just about Mr. Driscoll's interest. Eldon himself was rattled. The images of Ziri sucking her nipple and fingering her crotch had kept him awake half the night.

Now Eldon saw Mrs. Driscoll directing a sterner-than-usual look at her husband, as she picked up two empty platters and headed for the kitchen.

***