All Comments on 'Summer On The Seashore'
by HJO66
- 14 Comments
I couldn't quite work out what the characters names were–perhaps you should have used them some more in the story?
That was awful in every way. A virgin willing to fuck her dad to give up her virginity? Stupid. I'll not waste time rating this trash.
DragonRider55
Big penis attract big breasts or vise versa. Obviously mom had been well endowed and knew old men would chase her daughter.
Weird ending, in general, but that last sentence sort of ruined it. Overall, it felt rushed and if she was a virgin, she sure went from 0-60, especially on a prick as large as described. I get it's just a story, but unless you tag it as pure fantasy, it's nice for it to at least seem plausible.
Not sure how I feel about this story. It's not really badly written but I lost interest in it half way through. *shrug*
Being a father myself, I cannot see myself being so cruel with my daughter. I did find the ending to be rather rushed without what I would think would be going on in her mind. What was in her mind did strike me somewhat as a throw-away plot. Set up for the sequel, maybe?
The description of the physical interchange was well done, though. She was not structurally a 'virgin', due maybe to her self ministrations.
"As the days past quickly" I reached across the table past my daughter, and passed the rice to my wife.
Typo or dictation to type?
Hand cuffs are manufactured as a pair. Since these are not pears, but a pair of . . . Three pair is an appropriate term, without the 'of them'. Again I must ask: typo or dictation to type?
Frank's bed should be Frank's bed.
fastened/fashioned ?
"he drove his big hard dick into Marcie." Marcie is identified/named earlier in the sentence, here you need only identify Marcie as 'her.'
Please, don'the think or feel that I am berating your story in any way, shape or form.
Your story is FABULOUS !
One of the best constructed I have read here.
As mentionned, there is a very good chance that you have used a dictation to type programme which, as we know, produces words that are typed as they sound. This would produce errors similar to some identified.
The delivery, with almost an entire summer of restraint is FANTASTIC.
CONGRATULATIONS for a super start and, as are others, I am looking forward to more!
clearly, the father was a woman-hater as he abused them and didn't really give a shit about the women or his own daughter as he more or less raped them, he didn't care he was hurting them, I think this was more as a rape story, one star.