The Best American Erotica 2005

Perhaps I have been living in a delusional world and no one bothered to tell me. The fact remains that when I purchase a book with the lofty title of "The Best American Erotica 2005", edited by Susie Bright, I expect the stories to titillate at least or arouse at most. Sadly, this was not the case for me.

I will not argue my point with all the people out there who purchased this book and thoroughly enjoyed it. Good for you! I consider it a complete waste of my money. If this is Erotica, then the website you are reading this on is down right out and out pornography. And with that statement I must disagree. I just happen to enjoy a little sex in my erotica. I thought that was what erotica was all about. Maybe I am wrong.

Now the entire book was not a total disappointment, I will admit to that. As a matter of fact, there is one story in the collection I totally enjoyed and I have found it has stuck in my mind rather well. It was a rather odd bit of nonsense entitled "The Ugly Cock Dance" by Mary Gaitskill. And yes, the title of the story is the story. It deals with a subject near to me since I am the ripe old age of 45, middle aged sex! Yes, we do have sex! This intriguing story shows us a couple well used to each other who one morning decided to expand their horizons. While not particularly arousing to me, the story did hit a nerve and dealt with sexuality in an enlightening way.

My next favorite story is the witty "After the Beep" by Simon Sheppard. This is a very provocative piece dealing with a relationship done by answer machine. Oh, but for those of you (like myself) that may have dabbled is Dom/sub or Master/slave relationships, YOU know what it is like to just HEAR His or Her voice. So this story struck a note with me or rather a beep!

The last of the trio I found enjoyable was "It's Never Too Late in New York" by Nelson George. It is not an overly ambitious story but it had interesting characters and group sex. Group sex is always fun!

That's it. The only three stories I found worth reading more than once. But the rest of the book is filled with more stories. I read them. I wasn't too happy about it but I read them.

First strike: "View from the Fourteenth Floor" by Greta Christina. This mishmash of BDSM disgusted me. The story itself would have been entertaining if the author had not felt it necessary to throw every clichéd bit of BDSM nonsense into one minor short story. Since the premise of the story was humiliation and voyeurism, when the author added the gag I nearly gagged. The girl gagged was in a hotel room being watched from across the street! On the 14th Floor! No one would have heard her if she screamed. Disgusting!

Second strike: "All in a Day's Work: Mistress Morgana Session Notes" by Mistress Morgana. John: Dull. Martha: Dull. Larry: Dull. And in case no one noticed, this is NOT a story!

Third Strike: Trumpeting Well Known Authors:

"From Good Faith" by Jane Smiley is, well, an excerpt. Perhaps if I read the entire story, I might enjoy this scene. But since there was no character development, nor any hint of what this couple was about, I was totally lost and glad they got stuck in the snow storm. And I have no interest in reading the rest of the story/novel/whatever.

"Seduction" and "The Magician's Assistant" by Cecilia Tan are not stories. I am not exactly sure what they are but they are not stories. They are like those essays you used to have to write in high school where the teacher said write three paragraphs with five sentences each. I bet she wrote these in high school. They are not stories. Oh and I used to be an English teacher, I did give those 3 paragraphs, five sentences each assignments but I do not believe Cecilia Tan was ever my student. And these are not stories. I don't think either one would make the strict standards of this site because I believe both are less than 750 words. In case I did not mention it, these are not stories.

My review, my opinion and you, dear reader, certainly have the right to your own opinion so feel free to pick up your own copy of "The Best American Erotica 2005". If you don't want to pay full price, you can buy my copy used...cheap...really cheap.