The Better Me

I was feeling better than I ever had, but something was missing.

I was 53, out of shape. Too many late nights, too many days just doing nothing. Depressed, trying to just get through the day at work so I could come home to my solitude.

I knew something had to change.

Finally, something clicked inside my head. Screw this, I thought.  I began eating better. I began working out..I started a strict schedule of exercise. No fad diets..I knew from experience they never last.

Slowly, I felt better.  I stayed on it, went down 4 pants sizes, I saw the definition in my arms, the chest began tightening up, the abs began to show..the belly starting to recede. Not bad looking for a 53 year old.

Gave up the bad habits..the junk food, the drinking and especially the porn.

The porn was the most destructive for me..it sapped my motivation and left me with an unrealistic expectation of relationships..I went through 2 wives due to it. I was probably bi, but by this time in my life, I was tired of labels.  I was just me, and I liked what I liked.

So, feeling better, more energy than I ever had, I started learning the guitar and began writing more.  Reconnected with old friends and basked in their compliments.

But I still felt a twinge of loneliness.

I met a few people at the gym..they were younger and had new families, I didn't want to be that guy...the old guy they hung around with, you know?

Some of the people I met online were nice, but the online dating was always hit or miss for me.  

I stayed busy..hiking, fishing, camping,.I enjoyed the getting back to nature.  Always that thought in the back of my mind, "It would be nice to have someone to share this with."

Life went on. I stayed strong and felt good.

One day at work, Ken, a fellow engineer, dropped by my desk.

"So. What's happening," he said, in his best Lumberger from "Office Space" voice.

"What's up?"

"We're having a going away thing for Zach at a club tonight..you.should come along, Lone Wolf." Ken likes to tease about my solitude...A friendly yet concerned jab.

I rubbed my chin. "Oh, yeah, I forgot it's Zach's last day. He did good work, I'm gonna miss him."

"Then come out and tell him that, oh wise and muscular hermit."

"Ahh, I don't know.." I was going to make an excuse..but something clicked again. You need this, the voice said. Have fun. "Hell, why not? Where and when, I'm there."

Ken seemed surprised. "Really? All right, my man. It will be around 7 tonight at The Hat Lounge..heads up, its a gay club, so hope that's okay."

I almost laughed..I used to go to that club in my less disciplined days. "Not a problem."

"Great, see you there, old man."

After work I headed home, grabbed a quick workout, showered and dressed. I went with simple..faded jeans and a Polo shirt. I spritzed some cologne on and checked out my visage in the mirror.  I had a shaved head and a white goatee..shoulders broad, arms a little tight in the short sleeves of the shirt. Tanned from my camping trip the weekend before. I smiled. Far from the dumpy, flabby guy looking back at me last year.

I pulled up to the club..more cars than usually for 7:15 on a Friday, and the bass was loud yet muted from outside. A nervous twinge hit me...but I tamped it down..I was stronger than I used to be.

The going away party went well..I sipped club soda, mingled and chatted with my co workers, laughed, had fun..made sure let Zach know he was going to be missed.

I realized in my pursuit of my "perfection" I had shut myself off as well..I made mental note to change that.

Not long after, people began  to leave..around 9, about the time when the place started to get crowded. The usual..kids at home, need to go for the married ones, the others having plans with their circle of friends.

Goodbyes and farewells until it was just me. I walked to the bar and found an empty stool. I ordered another club soda and spun around and watched.

Being sober made me more aware, I found. Seeing eyes on others, watching some pick up on clues, others oblivious. Mainly, seeing couples happy..a playful touch on their arm, genuine affection. The dance floor becoming more populated, writhing bodies and willful abandonment. I envied them and was also happy for them. A warm smile crossed my lips.

"I won."

A voice from my right side. I looked over and saw deep blue eyes gazing back.

"I'm sorry?"

He was slight..around 5'7", thin with sandy blonde hair. In a t-shirt and jeans, probably 30 years old. He sipped his drink. "I bet myself that you had a great smile, so I win."

I grinned. "You made a bet with yourself, so you would have won, either out come. And thank you."

He smiled and sipped. "You like to watch."

"So do you, apparently."

"Touche. What are you drinking?"

"Club soda. You?"

"Bourbon and coke."

"Ahh..that used to be my favorite before I stopped."

Lidded eyes looking up at me as lips wrapped around the straw..he knew how to flirt. "Did you have a problem with alcohol?"

"What, like an alcoholic?" I shrugged. "Not really. I just wanted to not drink anymore. It was holding me back, I guess."

He smiled. "That's a pretty mature attitude."

I laughed. "It took me until year 53 to figure it out."

His eyes got wide. "You're old."

"Thanks for the newsflash." I replied in a friendly tone.

He held out his hand. "I'm Jamie."

I grabbed his hand..small,my hand nearly engulfed it. "Nice to meet you, Jamie. I'm Kyle."

He blushed..just slightly.

I flagged down the bartender and ordered us both another round.

"Oh, you didn't have to do that.." He seemed a little embarrassed.

I shrugged. "Why not? Its a friendly gesture."

He blushed a bit again. "So, you don't drink..why are you here?"

"We had a going away thing for a coworker here..you know. All the others left, they had other plans, or significant others waiting at home, the usual."

Jamie smiled again..very cute. "No one at home for you?"

"Not at this point in time..thinking of getting a dog, though."

"That's a shame." He ran his svelte fingers around the rim of his glass. "You could probably walk out of here with any number of people tonight."

I grinned. "You definitely know how to flirt." I leaned back against the bar, my arms resting on it.

"Looks aren't everything. Oh, no doubt they help confidence, that helps..but if you are a shitty person on the inside, you are just going to be a shitty person who happens to look good."

He looked at me and smiled.

"So, what brings you out?"

Jamie turned his gaze to a table nearby. A brunette with big tits and a short red mini dress laughing with other girls and guys, the guys clearly uncomfortable.. boyfriends dragged to the gay bar.

"Girlfriend?"

He almost choked on the bourbon. "God, no..roommate. She likes this place and 'please, please, come with me, I want to dance!' " He mimicked a girl a little too well.

"Well, kind of glad you came out."

Jamie looked at me with eyes that were soft and inviting. "Oh, really?"

"Yep." I raised my empty glass. "It's your round."

It was different and new..I was sober and still able to charm and be funny. I caught the clues Jamie was into me..little pats on my arm when I made him laugh, little blushes from my subtle compliments.

"Hey, I hope its okay, but I smoke..can we go on the patio for a few minutes?"

I liked how he asked..almost submissive. "Sure, I could stretch my legs. Lead the way."

I grabbed my drink and Jamie grabbed his..I immediately noticed the slight feminine way he walked in front of me..and just how round his ass was. It was almost hypnotic.

We stepped out to the patio..the colder air cooling us from the heat of the club. It was mid-spring..when days were very warm and nights got chilly.

"God, it got cold!" Jamie exclaimed, a little flamboyant. I smiled and steered him to a balcony railing. He pulled out a cigarette and tried to light it..his hands shook. I put my bigger hands over his and steadied him..he looked up at me as the flame lit his features.

He took a drag off the cigarette and exhaled. "Thank you..I felt like Veronica Lake in that moment." He giggled.

I leaned against the railing. "You are way too young to know who that is."

He smiled.  "The internet is very useful." He shivered as a cold wind blew in. I stepped in closer to block the gust.

"Better?"

He huddled in, his head almost into my chest. "My hero."

Jamie tossed the cigarette. "It's too cold."

l put my hand on his back and led him back inside..not sure why I did, but it felt natural at that moment. I looked over at him..and he was almost blushing.

We started towards the bar and I noticed our stools occupied. "Well, poop." I heard him pout.  I looked over to the lounge..a loveseat was empty. I put my hand over his lower back and walked him over.

I sat down..nice and comfy. He looked down at me and a look came over his face..he sat next to me and placed his drink on the table.

"Not bad," I said, stretching my arms over the back of the seat.

He sat up with his legs under him, a pure feminine pose, facing me. "What do you do?"

"I do software engineering..I workout.. I go hiking and camping.. I like to play video games and guitar to relax." I paused. "That sounded like a Tinder profile."

Jamie giggled. "I do website design, never been camping, but would love to try, and I play a lot of games..I'm playing through the Mass Effect games again at the moment."

"No shit? I'm playing ME3 right now. I love those games."

"Oh, really!" He almost squealed..his hand playfully hit my knee..and stayed there. I looked over and he had a demure look..just wondering..

"Not too old for you?" He knew I wasn't talking about the game.

He was about to answer when a shrill voice pierced the moment.

The big titted blonde..hysterical and drunk standing in front of us.

"Jamie, I want to leave! That bitch Fiona started hitting on Gary and she KNOWS I like him and I fucking hate this place!"

Jamie looked embarrassed. "Dina, you were the designated driver, why did you get drunk?"

Louder now. "I had a rough day! I'm allowed to let loose!" Causing a scene. I knew girls like her..hell, I dated a few..they were fun until they weren't. Then they became a chore.

Jamie looked over at me. "I guess I need to go..I have to drive her home."

"Whoa, are you crazy? You've had more than a few. Look, I'll drive you guys home, I'm dead sober." I threw a little glance at the not-so-party girl. "That cool with you?!"

"God, I don't care!" She started stumbling towards the exit. Jamie threw a look at me. "You sure you don't mind? "

"Not at all. Come on, let's get the princess home before she falls over."

The ride was pretty interesting to say the least. The backseat passenger alternated between lucid rage and drunken stupidity. Bitching about Fiona, Gary, Carli, blah, blah blah.

I took it in stride..drunks were drunks, especially ones who had more issues than Action Comics.

Jamie sighed and rolled his eyes and looked at me as if to apologize.

It got quiet about a block away from their townhouse. I glanced in the rearview.

"Looks like Princess Vodka is passed out."

Jamie turned around and saw her..sprawled across the backseat, snoring.  "Oh, you sloppy fucking slut!" He looked at me and said, "I am so so sorry, Kyle."

"For what? I didn't have much going on. I was drinking club soda at a bar, remember. I wasn't exactly setting the world on fire, tonight." Jamie smiled and then groaned. "Now I gotta drag her stupid ass inside."

I pulled into the space in front of a townhouse. "No worries. You unlock the door, I'll grab her."

"You sure?"

I winked at him. "Go ahead, do what I said." In a firm voice. I saw his face change..a look of excitement flushed his cheeks.

Moments later I had the drunk roommate over my shoulder and followed Jamie into the house. Nicely furnished..post modern art, fashionable sofa and chair.

Jamie shut the door behind me. "She's upstairs..she's not to heavy, is she?"

"Well, she could certainly hit the gym, but, nah, I got her."

Jamie laughed at that and I followed him upstairs. He walked into a bedroom..where the downstairs was tasteful and clean, this was garish and a mess. Clothes all over the floor, empty cans and bottles strewn about. I lowered her onto the messy bed, on her stomach. Jamie placed a water bottle on the cluttered nightstand..it was obvious he had done this before.

He turned off the light and shut the door. He shook his head wearily.

He looked at me and smiled.  "Please tell me I can repay you with some coffee."

"I was about to ask if you had some coffee.. what a coincidence."

I relaxed while Jamie fixed coffee. The couch was tasteful and comfy..I'm sure at least 5k. The art, the big screen TV, the tasteful and shelf holding 3 game systems and plenty of games..something told me this was his place.

Jamie walked in, a French press and cups on a silver tray. He poured and handed me a cup. I sipped..mmm.

"Damn good coffee. You'll spoil me."

He grinned at that and sat down next to me. His eyes actions became more feminine. Or I was just noticing.

"I swept an arm around the room. "I love what you've done with the place."

"That obvious?"

"After seeing her room, I put two and two together."

Jamie held his cup with both hands as if he was warming them. "Dina..well, she needed a place to stay after a bad breakup. She works with me and we are friends..but..I don't know..lately she has gotten worse." The concern in his voice was genuine.

"All you can do is try to be there for her, if she lets you." I said the words with softness. "But," my voice more firm. "That doesn't mean you have to take shit from her."

He blushed a bit, and I thought I may have been too much.

"We just met, so I know its none of my business, though."

A voice, meek. "You really turn me on..you have this forceful aura..not fake, just real."

I leaned back into the couch. "Jamie, I'm just me. I never go out to clubs, I don't date, I was all about making myself into a person I could like seeing in the mirror."

Jamie slid a little closer. "Are you glad you came out tonight?"

I brushed a lock of sandy blonde hair out of his eyes. "Yeah, I am. It reminded me I also need people in my life."

My arm slid off the couch and around him..I pulled him closer to me.

Lips parted. Together. We kissed, his fingers framing my face.

We broke off and he sighed. "Oh, my."

I grabbed him and put him in my lap..he straddled me as I kissed him deep, his arms around my neck, my hands running up and down his back. My long duration of 'celibacy' had made me almost animalistic in my approach with him.

My hands slipped into his pants..and found silky and lacy underwear.

"Well, you are full of surprises. "

Jamie giggled and whispered in my ear. "They're Dina's." He sucked my earlobe. I moaned and grabbed the back of his head and kissed him.

"Even better..you have any more items from the princess?" I reached under and squeezed his nipple as I kissed his neck.

"Hmmmm, yes...." the moaning had my cock rock hard.

"Good..you're gonna be my party girl tonight..get to it."

He almost squealed as he kissed me deep and then bounced up and almost ran into the master bedroom next to the couch.

He blew me a kiss and said, "Give me a few minutes, Big man!"

I leaned back..I stroked my cock through my jeans..losing the weight made it a little longer to go with the already thick girth.

I thought about the night..I connected with Jamie, sure there was an obvious attraction..but it was nice talking with someone. It was what I missed while I was off bettering myself.

I heard him behind me..he padded in. A very tight mini dress, thigh high stockings..he did a little dance for me, spinning around letting me admire his round bubble ass ensconced in the fabric.

"Damn, you look delicious."

Jamie giggled and ran his hands over the dress. "The dress was way too small for Dina...she was going to throw it out so I grabbed it. The thigh highs are mine, because I like the way they feel." He had applied a little lip gloss, making his mouth pouty in a sexy way.

I leaned back. "Crawl to me. Show me how much you want me."

I knew from the little signs of the night Jamie liked being controlled. He slid down on all fours and slowly moved towards me, his ass up..he knew exactly what I wanted..what I needed.

His fingers ran up the length of my legs..his eyes up on me. His nails slid over the hard bulge..he kicked his lips.

"Would you like to taste me?" I growled down at him,my hand running over his hair.

"Yes, please. May I taste your big cock?" He cooed, leaning down and running his lips over the outline of the fat head.

"Go ahead, baby...show me how much you need it."

He unbuckled my pants and pushed my shirt up. He kissed my belly, kissing down as his hands slowly slid my pants down. I kicked my shoes off and the pants were taken off, his lips on my thighs and legs every step of the way.

It was heaven.

My cock was hard and throbbing..the fat head glistening. He looked up at me and smiled. Tongue on the slit, down the thick meaty shaft, as his fingers deftly cradled my heavy balls. Then back up, his lips engulfing the fat throbbing head, down the shaft as far as he could go, eyes up and showing me just how much he loved it.

I moaned. "Fuuuuuuck.."

That made him more turned on. My hand on his head and he moaned..I knew that would do it. Up and down, his mouth perfectly slurping, sucking, fingers knowing how to stroke the shaft.

He popped off my manhood and said breathless, "I fucking love your cock..it's perfect."

I smiled. "It's yours..just like you are mine."

A dreamy look passed over his face and he licked and kissed the head. I pulled him up to me..I couldn't resist. We kissed like two passionate lovers reunited after years apart. My hands all over him, up and down his stockings, his hands stroking my engorged manhood, slick from his saliva. I picked him up, his arms around me, our lips together and carried him into his bedroom.

The king size bed was made and inviting..I lowered him down, intent on making this night one he would always remember.

I pulled off my shirt and his legs wrapped around my back instinctively. His fingers digging into my back as we kissed, my lips on his, on his neck and shoulders. He reached over into a drawer in the nightstand...a bottle. He poured into his hands and slowly slathered my cock..smiling up at me as he did.

I pressed my slick cock into his tight hole..looking down at him, my hand lightly around his throat. His eyes great wide.

"Ready to become mine?" I eased into him.

He gasped, and nodded. "Oh, fuck."

Slowly..easing in and stopping, letting him acclimate, kissing him with every thrust. He began moving his hips into me, and I knew he was ready.

I kept my hand on his throat as I flipped him over..his beautiful ass now mine. I gripped the round globes, pushed the dress up and started to fuck him like he was the only pussy left on Earth.

He moaned out. "Goddamn, YES, make me your bitch!"

I slid in faster and harder, slapping his ass, my thick cock filling him, hitting that right spot. His hand reached under and stroked his smaller cock, furiously as he realized this old man was going to own him for the night.

I heard a gasp..we both looked up. Dina was in the doorway..seeing the whole thing. Her roommate dressed in her old clothes, being ruthlessly fucked by a man almost twice his age.

I winked at her. Jamie giggled, then moaned again as my hands slapped his ass. Dina stumbled away. "Whose ass is this, slut?" I growled, gripping the perfect ass.

"Oh, fuck, oh fuck, it's yours, oh fuck, I'm coming!" He cried out and I pumped harder..and let go. I roared like a lion as my seed spurted into him..his ass pussy greedy and took it all. He gasped with every jet of hot cum. I collapsed on top of him, he murmured, "Oh my god, oh my god," over and over. I kissed the back of his neck as I slowly slid out.