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The Slap

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A boyfriend dumps his girlfriend over her slapping him.
826 words
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My face stung as I felt that slap from my girlfriend, Nadia. It was the first ever slap in our relationship, but me being me, it was also the last. I never tolerated any form of physical violence that wasn't some kind of consensual sadomasochism. It was over, just like that.

It was a fairly new relationship, new enough that we hadn't even had the "talk" yet. You know, the one about fidelity. For whatever reason, we had both avoided it so far. It would never happen now, would it?

Nadia knew almost instantly once she slapped me and saw my face harden that she had fucked up. I stared daggers at her and walked over to my stuff to collect it and go home. The silence was so potent that it was she could have been fucked by it. She stood there and watched me grab my possessions until I started to walk toward the door.

"Wait, I thought that we still had a date tonight!" she blurted.

"Consider it canceled. We're done. It's over," I told her bluntly.

"Over one measly slap? Girls do that all the time and guys just take it!" Nadia tried to convince me.

"Some guys might, but not me. It's a fucking dealbreaker, Nadia. Consider yourself dumped," I insisted.

"But it's just a slap. Not like I abused you or anything!" Nadia persisted.

"To me, you DID abuse me. Slapping is abuse in my book and I don't have to take it, so I won't. I don't know how they do things back in Mother Russia, but here, for me, with a guy like me, it's 'do svidaniya' to you! I won't tolerate any physical violence that isn't part of a bondage scene or something consensual like that," I countered as I headed for the door, ignoring her tears.

"But I'm a woman. You're a man! The rules are different, right?" Nadia grasped at straws now.

"Not to me, they're not. If I slapped you, it would be abuse. You slapped me. That's abuse. Plain and simple. No exceptions, loopholes, or what have you. We're finished as a couple. Probably for the best. The talk was coming, but I would have liked to end it nicer than this," I stipulated.

"What's 'the talk' about?" Nadia asked me, truly puzzled.

"Fidelity or lack thereof. I'm not the faithful sort. You probably would have kicked me to the curb for that," I assumed.

"That's not how we do things in Russia. There's never a 'talk.' Woman never bring it up. Man never bring it up. Man fucks around. Woman fucks around. Nobody talks about it. No one gets divorced. Please..reconsider...I beg you!"

"Nyet," I answered as I walked out the door, half-regretting it due to what she just told me.

Part of me would have loved to be with a girl who didn't sweat my womanizing for a change. I still couldn't put up with slapping, though. It was, as I told her, a dealbreaker. If I had slapped her, I would have been wrong, too. Who knew...maybe in a year's time or something, but maybe not.

All that I knew was that I wouldn't put up with that kind of bullshit. Not now. Not ever. It was a slippery slope. If I tolerated slapping, what would be next? Ever since my wife Jill kicked me out of the house, OUR house, I have been extremely committed to the idea of never permitting or condoning any kind of controlling, psycho, abusive, disrespectful, ungrateful, entitled, bitchy, or possessive behavior from a partner ever again.

Notice that I said "wife," not ex-wife. Yeah, she's been fighting me on that divorce, which is pretty weird given that she kicked me out. But that's another story entirely. I certainly wasn't going to wait around for red tape to go out and live my life as some poor, misguided fools do. As far as I was concerned, the day that she forced me out of my own damn home at gunpoint was the day that our marriage was over.

I had been as faithful as I could be, despite my urges, until that night. That night, I paid a fine-ass hooker a good Benjamin for some anal for once in my life. Even with a rubber, it was pretty sweet action, too. Two month later, I started dating Nadia. Now, we were broken up and who knew what I'd hit, but I was eager to find out.

Maybe I'd find that hooker again. What do you think? I had another Benjamin to burn, thanks to a canceled date night. And I would get to do all of the slapping, as in my balls slapping her pussy good and hard as I sodomized her. I never did get into Jill's ass or Nadia's, but that was tough luck. I was pretty sure that Consuela could make me forget all about it.

I always did love Latinas.


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AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

A little strange. He's married, his wife forces him out of their house at gunpoint (and he didn't have her arrested and thrown in jail?) so he starts dating and breaks off with the new girlfriend because she slaps him (why?). And you don't end anything? I don't see any humor or satire in any of this, but you sure left us with lots of questions.

colin23colin23about 4 years ago
Humour and satire?

I don't understand why this story is classified as humour and satire.

ShadowRosieShadowRosieabout 4 years ago

I agree with him. What's fair for one is exactly the same fairness for the other. No hitting, slapping, spanking, hurting in any way unless it is balanced and both get their chance. This needs to be part of "the talk" and taken seriously.

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