Three Square Meals Ch. 119

"Why do you always do that?" she asked, looking hurt. Now it was Dana's turn to frown. "Do you really think I'm that much of a bitch?"

Caught by surprise by her rapid shift in mood, John quickly shook his head. "No, of course not! Why would you even think that?!"

"It happens all the time," she said with exasperation. "I say something nice, like: 'I'm glad I was a virgin for you' and you start feeling guilty for some dumb reason. I love you... I don't want you to feel like shit! Every time you go on a guilt-trip, it makes me feel bad!"

John winced and cupped her face. "I'm really sorry, honey. I just... I can't help feeling the way I do. I was brought up to be respectful towards women and my grandparents would probably be appalled at me lording it over a harem! The balance in our relationship is so skewed in my favour, it's ridiculous... and I can't help feeling guilty, especially when you and the rest of the girls are all so loving with me."

Dana just looked at him for a long moment, then shook her head with a wry smile. "You really have no idea what our relationship is like from my perspective do you?"

He was about to reply, then hesitated. "No... I guess not."

"I feel... privileged... to be with you," she said softly, placing her hand on his where he cupped her face. "The girls are amazing... totally the best people I've ever met, but for some reason, you liked me enough to make me one of them. I still find it hard to believe that you did that..."

"But-"

She silenced him with a kiss, then smiled. "I haven't finished." She mimed zipping his lips sealed, then Dana continued, "You've done so much for me... there's no point listing everything because we'd be here all day. But it's not just the stuff you've given me, or healing my scars, or giving me a hot body and making me beautiful, or even saving me from being killed. Every time we're together, you make me feel like I'm the most important person in the galaxy... and I love you so much for that."

"That's how I feel," he said earnestly, then couldn't help wincing. "Or I should say: joint most important person in the galaxy with twenty other women..."

Dana laughed and rolled her eyes. "See! You can't help yourself." She gave him another kiss, gentle this time and full of tenderness. "I'm not jealous of the girls. None of us resent each other, or what we do for you, or the skills we each bring to the group. The girls are super nice to me all the time and because we're all occasional lovers too, we're even closer than if we were real sisters. I've also got my best friend to hang out with whenever I like, and then there's Rachel... and she's just awesome."

"Your soulmate," he said with a nod, his tension easing.

Her expression flickered with anxiety and she gave him a tentative smile. "Maybe joint soulmate would be more accurate?"

John ran his fingers through her hair and massaged her head. "I understand that you two have become really close... and I'm happy for you both, honestly. I promise that I'm not jealous."

"It's just that 'soulmate' sounds so exclusive and that somehow you don't measure up against Rachel," Dana said, shaking her head. "But that's just not the way I feel... it's hard to describe."

He gave her an encouraging smile. "I'm interested to know. How do you feel?"

She stopped to consider his question for a long moment. "Okay... I'll try to explain." Taking a deep breath, she continued, "When I'm with you, you make me feel a certain way that I just can't get enough of. You're strong and powerful, so you always make me feel safe and protected... which gets me really turned on. Then when we're together, the sex is indescribable... I never could have imagined it'd be so good. I get all the best bits of being dominated in bed, plus you're an amazingly considerate lover... so I'm always totally satisfied."

"We are a great fit in the bedroom," John conceded, nodding his agreement.

"It's not just physical though! The absolute confidence you have in me is amazing and I love that look of pride in your eyes when I come up with any new technology..." She shivered with delight. "You make me feel like I'm some kind of tech goddess! I've never had anyone respect and appreciate me the way you do. After years of just being sidelined and exploited, I actually feel valued now... treasured even... and that's just the best feeling ever."

"Treasured... that's a good word for how I feel about you," he said earnestly, emphasising that with a loving kiss. "So what about you and Rachel?"

A soft smile appeared on her face and she replied, "What we have is very different. We spend loads of time together and I love her company. She's so smart and caring, plus she really gets me on a whole bunch of stuff... probably because we're both girls, we're the same age, and we're both in a relationship with you." Tilting her head to one side, she added quietly, "We have a kind of incredibly close companionship... which I guess me and you probably could have as well, if we spent enough time together."

"If you didn't have to share me with so many other girls..." John said with a heavy sigh.

Dana smacked him on the arm and pouted. "No! Stop doing that!" She rolled her eyes and smiled again. "Me and you have the best bits of a relationship... all the real highs, like incredible sex and making my heart flutter when I see you, but me and Rachel kind of fill in the blanks for the rest. I need both of you... and I feel twice as loved because of it."

Raising her right hand, she said, "You..." Then raising her left, she continued, "Rachel..."

Putting her fingers together to form a heart, she placed it against her chest. "Soulmates..."

John was quiet as he thought about that, brushing his fingers through her hair as he studied her face. "Do you think I encouraged you two to get together? Maybe because I felt guilty at not being able to give you all the time and attention you needed?"

Dana shook her head. "Nah, I don't think so. Me and Rach had the hots for each other from the start... our relationship just grew from there." She shrugged nonchalantly. "Even if you did... who cares? What I've got with both of you is totally awesome... if it was you that set us up, then thanks!"

He laughed and lay back on the bed with a sigh of relief. After a long pause, he glanced at Dana again. "Do you think the rest of the girls feel that way?"

She snuggled into him and rested her head against his shoulder. "Yeah, probably. Being with you is such a rush... but it's really intense and we'd never get anything done if one of us was with you constantly. When we aren't spending time alone with you, we all have fun hanging out together. I guess the girls that needed that extra companionship paired off, like Alyssa with Calara, and Irillith with Tashana, but not everyone has."

"Sakura..." John said, nodding thoughtfully.

"She's totally devoted to you... same as Jade," Dana said, turning to look up at him. "Not that I wouldn't take a bullet for you, but those two take it a step further."

"Should I try and make more time for them?" John asked with concern.

"They'd love it if you did, the same as the rest of us," she said with an affectionate smile. "But when Sakura hangs out with me and Rach, she's happy... it's not like she spends her time miserable and moping around, pining away for the next time you'll get together."

"You know how I feel about all of you... I just don't want anyone to feel neglected," he said looking worried.

Dana propped herself up on one elbow and looked down at him. "You need to stop giving yourself such a hard time. You do a really great job of making us all feel loved. Besides, if any of us is unhappy, Alyssa tells you, right?"

Thinking back, he nodded, remembering dozens of occasions when she'd asked him to spend time with one of the girls when they were upset about something.

"There you go then," she said with a satisfied smile. "It was actually a really smart move putting her in charge of keeping an eye on us like that. You probably avoided all sorts of problems with Alyssa constantly checking to make sure we're all okay."

"I can't really take credit for that," he said with a rueful frown. "That was all part and parcel of her being my matriarch..."

Dana shook her head. "No, it wasn't."

John looked at her in confusion. "A Progenitor sets up a matriarch to manage the connections to his thralls... I thought we'd established that."

"The matriarch's there to manage the energy in their psychic network, but that's basically it," the redhead insisted. "It's true that matriarchs have an empathic connection with their thralls, but Alyssa's telepathic bond is way more intimate than that. Besides, from everything we've learned about the other Progenitors, do you honestly think that any of them gave a shit what their thralls were feeling?"

John thought about it and was forced to admit, "I seriously doubt it."

"Exactly, but you're totally different," she said with a fond smile. "Every time I feel even a bit sad about anything, you're there like a shot, doing whatever you can to cheer me up. You do the same thing for all the girls, because you care about us; you're nothing like the other Progenitors we've learned about."

"I really hope not," he said quietly, staring up at the ceiling.

"You're not," she said firmly, then gave him a tender kiss. Dana watched him for a long moment, then continued, "During Rachel's talk, I actually noticed something I hadn't really thought about before..."

John looked at her with interest, knowing how insightful Dana could be when she put her mind to anything. "What did that big old brain of yours figure out?"

"Did you realise that you've never once actively recruited anyone? You've been pushed into it, every single time."

"That can't be right..." he muttered, frowning again. "What about Jade? I remember deciding to become her new master."

Dana giggled and shook her head. "Jade doesn't count! She threw herself at you from the start! Then as soon as you introduced her to me and Calara, we practically begged you to have her join the crew. After you loaded Jade up, I remember you telling us all about Nymphs and that you'd wanted to set her free, but after talking to her you realised that was impossible. You recruited her to stop her from being enslaved by anyone else."

John rubbed his chin and eventually nodded. "Alright, I suppose that's true... but what about-"

"Nope," Dana interrupted with a triumphant grin. "Every single girl on the Invictus has joined us because Alyssa brow-beat you into it, or you felt you had to do it to save them. Jade was never going to take no for an answer, then me, Calara, Rachel, Jehanna, and Helene were all picked by Alyssa. Irillith kind of recruited herself, then with Tashana, you felt obligated to help her because of all the horrendous shit she'd been through."

"You're all beautiful women... it's not like it was a hard choice," he said with a self-conscious smile.

"Yeah, you'd think, but you struggle with it every time. You normally spend days trying to convince any new girl to head for the hills!" she said with a knowing smile. "You've never just picked out a girl and said: 'She's super hot! I want to make her my love slave!'."

He laughed and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I can't think why I haven't done that."

"But with your abilities, you could have... whenever you liked," Dana insisted, quite animated now. "You heard Mael'nerak on the Nexus files; he picked Valada as his matriarch because he thought she was a sexy piece of ass. I bet every Progenitor has been just the same way, but you've done the opposite and tried to discourage girls from joining you."

"I didn't really do that with the Maliri," John said quietly, lost in thought.

"Edraele was forced on you when your guide mind-wiped her. After that, she set you up with all the Maliri in her network, like the assassins and the Young Matriarchs. With the way the genetic conditioning worked, they were like cats in heat around you, but even then, you tried to make sure they knew what they were doing before you filled them up. All the rest of the Maliri you only fed once, but that was just so you could start correcting the population imbalance. You still took the time to learn the names of all those hot blue chicks and find out a bit about them, it was never about getting your rocks off."

He shrugged, conceding she was right. "Okay that's all true. So what's your point?"

"Nothing really, I just thought it was interesting," she replied, cuddling up with him again. "You've been very cautious and reluctant to recruit women into your psychic network, making sure that they always give their consent beforehand. It's just another reason why you shouldn't feel guilty about your connection to the girls; we all joined you voluntarily and I'd bet you a billion credits that not a single one would go back and choose differently."

"A billion credits?" John asked with a grin. "Just how much are you raking in from those patents?"

"Alright, I'm a bit short," she admitted, smiling as she traced a finger over his chest. "If I lost, you'd have to settle for a hell of an IOU... but there's no way I'd lose. Trust me, I know exactly how they feel."

"Thanks for talking this through with me," he said gratefully, stroking her back. "I really appreciate all the effort that you and the rest of the girls have gone to recently, trying to make me see things from a different perspective. It really helps."

"Good." Dana kissed him, then studied him with a conflicted expression on her face. "Do you know why we hassle you about this so much?"

He shook his head. "Not really, no."

"Do you remember how frustrated and helpless you felt, when Edraele kept blaming herself for everything the old version of her did?" Not waiting for him to answer, she pressed on, "Because every time you torture yourself with guilt, that's exactly how all of us feel..."

John looked at her in shock, then wrapped his arms around her. "I'm really sorry, I had no idea."

"Don't be sorry," Dana said with a caring smile. "We all love you... and just want you to be happy."

***

Ailanthia woke from a wonderful sleep, then stretched languorously in bed and smiled at the increasingly familiar weight pressing at her waist. Her hands went down to the bulge in her cum-filled stomach, lightly caressing the gentle curves as she let out a sigh of contentment. The thought that her Lord's baby was growing in her womb left Ailanthia giddy with excitement.

Having Larn'kelner's children had been her fondest wish, ever since he'd chosen her to be his matriarch from thousands of hopeful young Larathyran noblewomen. As the years rolled by into decades, then centuries, that hope had dwindled away to nothing more than a wistful dream. To see so many thousands of his vapid thralls blessed to carry his progeny, while leaving her unfulfilled had been torturous, but it was only recently that she'd been bold enough to voice her displeasure... and so much more.

She shook her head in disbelief, mortified that she'd actually dared to slap him. Ailanthia loved her Lord with every fibre of her being, but the taunts and teasing had finally overcome her restraint until she'd been overcome by a rage she'd never experienced before. Even more astonishing was that Larn'kelner had been amused and aroused by her furious outburst... and the passion they'd shared afterwards was like nothing she ever thought possible.

Lovingly stroking her lower belly, she blushed as she remembered that morning. She was no longer able to accept him into her womb, as it was now occupied with her Lord's offspring, but there were plenty of other thrilling ways she could please him. As always, the passionate encounter had culminated in a deeply satisfying breakfast. With a start, Ailanthia realised that she'd dined on nothing else but Larn'kelner's essence for weeks, the thought making her moan with arousal.

*Ailanthia, meet me on the Bridge.*

His authoritative voice cut through her mind, heightening her state of excitement.

She slid out of the covers and started looking for her hastily discarded clothes. *I shall get dressed and be there shortly, my Lord.*

*Did I rouse you from bed?* he asked, sounding amused.

*I awoke moments ago,* she replied, smiling softly to herself. *Your magnificent performance this morning left me languishing in a state of blissful exhaustion.*

His tone changed, growing more affectionate. *There's no rush, my lovely little matriarch. Attend me at your convenience...*

Ailanthia's breath caught, as it always did when he spoke to her in such a manner. Ever since that fateful night, Larn'kelner had been increasingly attentive, each kind word and loving glance making her heart sing. *I ache for your company, my Lord. I shall not tarry long...*

She hummed happily to herself as she entered the adjoining washroom, then froze stock-still when she saw her reflection in the mirror. Ailanthia gaped at her long, braided hair, whirling to the side and twisting her shoulders to get a better look at the tresses that flowed down her back. While she'd been asleep, all the colour had leeched out, her dark locks turning a pristine snowy white!

Her first thought was one of terror. What if Larn'kelnar hated her new look! As the initial wave of fear passed and rational thought kicked in once again, she realised that he must be the architect behind her change in appearance. Ailanthia heaved a huge sigh of relief, then stopped to really appraise her reflection. She smiled as she undid the braids, which had become tangled with that morning's passion, then gently fluffed out her hair. Shaking her head in awe, she marvelled at the change, struck by just how clever her Lord was. The white mane emphasised the flawless perfection of her light-green skin and she was amazed at how he'd enhanced her natural beauty.

Entering the smaller chamber at the back of the room with a new lightness to her step, she placed the filter over her nose, closed the door, then activated the cleaning room. Anti-bacterial liquid flooded the room, cleansing her body of the dried perspiration from that morning's activities. Just as quickly it drained out, leaving her refreshed and ready for Larn'kelnar's pleasure. Standing before the mirror once again, she brushed out her hair so that it flowed in glossy waves over her shoulders and down her back. Ailanthia briefly considered braiding it again, but decided to leave it loose, so that her Lord could admire his handiwork.

Returning to their quarters, she retrieved one of the long dresses from the wardrobe he'd allocated to her and slipped it on. That she was even allowed to store some of her clothing in his room was exhilarating, reinforcing the feeling that she was closer to him than ever before. She smoothed the material over the small bump in her tummy and pulled on a pair of high-heeled boots, then after checking her reflection one last time, she left the bedroom.

Ailanthia passed scores of thralls as she strode along the black corridors, relishing the looks of astonishment she received at her new appearance. Glancing down at the locks curling over her chest, she saw that the red lighting was casting a crimson hue over her new hair. It was like she was reflecting the majesty of her Lord's ship, just as she was his devoted vessel. Her hand drifted to her abdomen and she lovingly caressed the curve of her belly, a soft smile on her face. She pressed the rune by a black door and it peeled open, the interconnecting metal plates along the joins like rows of jagged teeth, until they swept back into the doorframe.

Larn'kelnar was already there on the Bridge and one look at his handsome face made her heart skip a beat. "My Lord," she purred, greeting him with a sultry smile. "I adored my surprise..."