All Comments on 'Two Hundred Dollars Ch. 16'

Great #16. It feels a bit like a little climax since 12-16 have been like an arc.

Yet, somehow, in comparison, it feels as if you have shortened it and cut something out of the final version?

When I add the spankings and the time in the story, this have been the hardest days for Bai's ass, and even now you managed to avoid penetrating sex.

Wonderful :)

Absolutely great chapter!

It really feels like a story arc from the party till now has found it's little climax here.

If you want to go again for those little 3-4 chapter arcs, I 'm in! I like them, though waiting for the next is a pain.

Most funny things for me: Kent really needs it spelled out to get the clue and they still haven't had penetrating sex. Yeah! :)

But could you please keep my other "messy" fetish in mind. I felt it was a bit short in this one *blush*

By the way the whole chapter feels like you have cut stuff (dialogue? things in their minds?) out before releasing it.

Back to the story: chapter 17 has to pick on the development. Now that they have more or less spelled out their urges, I still hope for gentlemen Kent to "anything" Laura "anywhere" . And as far as Bai is concerned it won't hurt but only do more good for everybody.

Perfect :D

I feel like the whole "Laura spanking Bailey" thing deserved its own little arc, so I'm glad you liked it. It seems to be a popular chapter, too, but it *is* odd that I haven't seen any comments until now. The forums are also down at the moment, so maybe there's a technical problem? Usually, I get 9 or 10.

Laura is in a very tenuous position, of course, balancing her friendship with Bailey against her own sexual desires, and all that against her guilt. The other players are going to be cautious, naturally.

As for messy endings, it would be hard to go without, since they're clearly not completely ready for penetration yet. One of the nice things about written erotica, vs. visual, is that the messy endings don't have to visible. Blowing his load just under her panties is fine and I don't have to arrange things artificially so an HD camera can squeeze in there to see it.

I don't think I intentionally cut out any internal dialogue. Most of 16 was written before I got feedback on 15, but 15 had an unusual amount of Laura's internal dialogue, so maybe 16 just seems light by comparison?

Anyway, if you have trouble commenting, you can always send me a personal message. Those probably still work, and if you're anonymous, I can answer it on twitter.

Thanks!

Perhaps involving Laura’s mother?

I hadn't even thought of that. That's a completely different fetish but I could imagine it as an alternative universe, single-chapter, branch of this reality.

I'm a bit sceptical about more characters in the intimate part of the story.

At least in an active role. A secret viewer or accidential witness would be a completely different thing :)

Which, in turn, would require an adventurous location again. Something for the weekend, cinema, musuem, a hike in mother nature, doing sports ...

Opportunities enough for more girl-contests, challenges, Kent-the-gentleman, anythinging-Laura and similar. ..

Yes.

Not that I'm not up to it, but one more character means 3 more relationships to keep track of. It makes it trickier and there's already a rich enough set of complications to handle just with the 3 people I have now.

Just in case there is anyone reading this who doesn't realise it is a fantasy that skips over inconvenient details, please be advised that cotton underwear does not make an effective condom. Full penetration is not needed for to get pregnant..

... Hot!

I love reading the comments almost as much as the story, almost LOL. I love the mind games, and let's face it, good sex is more mental than physical. Looking forward to the next chapter!