- Loving Wives
- The Great Escape
- Comments
All Comments on 'The Great Escape'
by tanglosax
- 163 Comments
Well written but the ending was a little abrupt.
The 5 month thing was the killer. How could he ever trust her again? Then hinting about Lucinda? Only 3 stars because of the ending. Could have been 5.
This was a very good story and the ending was perfect.
It was open ended so everyone can imagine the finale that they actually want or even leaving it there.
There are no good guys or villains in this story, just a married couple who go lost their way. The result would have been the same, with or without the affair because they lost each other. They were no longer a team, they were roommates who shared a bed and a home.
Mark was the catalyst but he wasn’t the problem.
Really outstanding read. Engaging characters, authentic and engaging framing, great pacing, good internal logic, and eminently believable.
Another one for my favorites.
5 stars
Whew I thought the moment I read Tim saying to Cora to get naked I stopped right there then went straight to the last page. So glad this wasn't a cuck or RAAC story. Nice one quite well written. Thanks.
I think it is a very realistic, emotional story. No BTB, no revenge, just utter and complete failure of the relationship. He recognized the destruction much sooner than her. Her attitude was “Pollyanna” until she finally realized there was no recovery for them. Yes, it is a long story, but so compelling, I could not stop reading it until I finished it. I think it is a very well written story of real human tragedy. A quality effort! Thank you!
Very good story. It was really realistic for me.
No crazy situations, no BTB, no RAAC.
Just the usual logical ending to the discovery of betrayal: divorce.
What's really good is that, for once, we have an intelligent woman who knows that there are consequences to her actions, who understands that nothing will ever be the same, and that her husband can't get past the betrayal.
The only downside is that the story ends with no clear direction for their future life, especially with Lucinda's intriguing phone call.
5 star story with a 2 star end.
Scores only a 3
Write a follow up.
This story is not over.
I thought this was really well done. Different in aporach at times. Maybe two minor suggestions, 1 lose the little chapter headings, they add nothing and spoile the story, and 2, just a bit less detail and repetition.
The University of Florida is NOT in Tally! It’s in Gainesville! Bad error for this reader. Otherwise solid story.
Was a really good, solid story until the last 2 paragraphs. Went from not needing a sequel with his future ahead of him, to leaving us hanging about the phone call. I deducted a star.
Loved the story but agree that it needs an ending. A lot of work went into this so I gave it 5 stars. Thanks!
A good story and I don't see anything wrong with the end. May be he hooks up with Lucinda, and maybe not. But he's definitely gone from the marriage. That's the end of the story.
It's difficult to process how any individual would react to the situation presented here. We don't know enough about the prior relationship. If they had been really close before, it might have hurt more - what she did. If not, easier to let her go. Probably somewhere in the middle. She just damaged his life too much for them to continue. D
Wow, well he can beat off to memories of a woman who never existed, no wonder she did what she did. I am just sorry she wasted 40 years on such a dip shit. The reality is he had no idea who she was, not interest in finding out. She saved his life, that does not gain her some real forgiveness for being human and making mistakes? Well I am surprised he even went in the water, I figured he would just walk across it. Good riddance, lets home his boat sinks.
Good read, I liked it. I liked the end. I was wondering if the girl was going to reappear. He stuck to his guns, You cheat, your done. No way I would ever take a cheating spouse back.
I'm not familiar with your works, but I will be reading some of your other postings. Actually a great story, but when did the rules change for CPR? If the patient is breathing, then CPR is not necessary or warranted. Excellent ending! 5⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
A really decent tale. A few hangars, the kids added pretty much nada, but overall a good story. Good enough I’ll take a look at your other tales.
I fore one, really liked your shory of betrayal, heartbreak and recovery (not redemption). The characters seemed like real people, abet Lawyers ($$) and Nurses ($).
I see the rest of the story that something develops with Lucinda.
Thank you! I really enjoyed the tale. But... yeah, there was more to this story. Lucinda was part of his story. His marriage to Cora was part of his story. Now he's back to fitness and there are strands of the story that are germane but not addressed.
For whatever it's worth there are crocodiles in Florida. Alligators can be found in freshwater and saltwater.
Thank you. That was all believable, including his refusal to take her back. The betrayal went on way too long. One time, maybe forgive. Weekly for months? No way do you walk away from that. Well told. 5*s.
A quick search will show photos of alligators in salt water.. And please. The Gators are the University of Florida from Gainesville, Florida. I am an old softy so I pulled for a reconnection, but above all I pulled for a finish. I cannot help but feel the absence of a clearly defined ending is a reflection on the skills of the author.
What was told didn’t need 10 pages to tell it but I would have gladly read 10 more to get the rest of the story. Thanks 4⭐️
Because it was 10 pages, I read most of it backwards. It was an oddly compelling read. Very well written. 5 stars.
Really liked this. I can think of a few tugboat escape stories on LW. This is a good one.
Good flow, plot, getting each character’s view. No howling spelling or grammar to distract my OCD!
Those who want a neatly tied-up ending will complain, but I think it’s fine - a little intrigue at the end does no harm.
It leaves things open for a sequel, or even separate sequels for each character.
Well done.
So glad they split. I agree that he could not just accept what she said and go on as normal. I am not saying they could not reconnect and start new at some time but it would take IMO years of separation to get over what happened.
Him getting a new girl so fast and then her calling back? That is all well and good for the male ego but in real life not sure that would happen.
Your story has touched me. I am left feeling sad and hopeful for both Tim and Cora. There are a few places where the names were confused (Tom/Tim, Cora/Lucinda). Overall a solid, realistic story. 4 stars.
Very well written. You must have a great editor. However, in my life experiences (I'm 86) it never works out that well for a man with a cheating wife. She gets to play, and he gets to pay.
University of Florida (Gators) is in Gainesville, not Tallahassee. Tallahassee is where Florida State (Seminoles) is.
I liked the story. Seems to me that the wife proved her seriousness and regret and showed her worth. MC should have taken her back, especially considering the very nice revenge sex he had during the boat trip. Not sure why the ending was left ambiguous.
I belive you will not be able to draw a line under your story as you appear to have done.
There is more to tell and you are the logical person to do so. Get on with it!...smile.
Great yarn, by the way. Well plotted. Great detail. Realistic characterisations. There should be
a better system of star approval. Perhsps 10-out-of-10. In which instance I'd sport you a solid 8, because I'm a hard marker.
Good story. Could have gone any way but you didn't give it away. Lucinda is probably pregnant, and the loser fiancé took his ring back. A boat is no place for a newborn. They will have to motor back up to CT.
I think it's realistic. Man besieged by work is betrayed, realizes he can never trust her again, so heads off into the wild, knowing he will return in a year to divorce by abandonment and go back to being an egghead lawyer. Lucinda and the daughters seem to serve less of a role than one might think looking at an outline. This story had me looking up tugboats, which seem to be motorboats with big square cabins, and I can see how someone might want to just take to the seas to get away from the smoldering disaster of a life. He should tell her to sell the house and move on.
Sad,they are both to blame in some way. But it always seems the women dont understand why they did it. l think it is something women seem to need always, even if they dont admit it. They get excited on something new, something different, something wrong but giving them a rush. They think the long term love will get them a pass. This seems totally different to a man who cant understand the crazy way a lot of women think, to them it seems immediatly that the woman does'nt care, they feel inadequate, what did they do to deserve this and failure to find an answer makes them angry at the outcome. To have both of them look at putting them in the others shoes should at least give them some understanding of the hurt they have dished out for some short term excitment. The husband in this story is also living a lie after he had sex outside the marrriage, but does'nt own up to it or feel he has done anything wrong. He feels because has been so badly treated he is entitled. Time can sometimes heal a lot of wounds but it is sometimes too late. The ending is a look at a possible future failing, as Lucinda is around the age or younger of his daughters. A good fuck is just that, a good fuck, but life is a lot more than that. All three need councilling and understanding of what has happened and why. Its a good story and shows a lot of our failings, well written
The writing and story really deserves a score of 5/5. It’s so well written and was a very engaging story. The ending though… it seemed far too abrupt to me. It’s almost as if the story is cheated by the ending. Mind you, I’m not complaining about the outcome - which after Cora’s life saving efforts - could have gone either way. Rather, it feels as if there’s still a lot of “meat on the bone” left over in this story. 4/5 BRB
Nice story. It's clear there is no reconciliation for Cora and Tim at least for now. There is still love, but the lack of trust and the disrespect Tim suffered at the hands of Cora seem to be unsurmountable obstacles for him to overcome. It's clear to Tim that Mark gave Cora something physical and/or mentally he couldn’t, and she obviously liked it a lot or even needed it, otherwise the affair couldn't have lasted for so long. Sometimes in life you have to move on. Sadly, the sexual images of Cora and Mark are still too fresh in Tim's mind. Sometimes sorry is just not enough. Thanks for the interesting story about a marriage and the consequences of cheating!
wow, great story.
i wish i had the talent to write a line like this:
"He would continue to miss the Cora he thought he had known, but not the cheating Cora she actually was."
A well written entertaining story. Maybe we will get a Lucinda story in the future!
🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
On page 5, he got diesel bug, not gunk. A bacteria grows and make the diesel like jelly and clogs the filters. Happens from time to time in storage tanks not in busy use, like in marinas at winter time.
So, Lucinda is pregnant.
Good work, I'm not sure I could forgive even once, five months? How many times had he had slops?
Your story felt painfully authentic. The ending is somewhat unsatisfying, just as it well could be in real life. What distinguishes this from other excellent LW offerings is Cora’s brilliantly conceived, clearly worded explanation of why sex can be better with someone who doesn’t share the burdens of marriage and family life. I have read many of these stories — and written a few — and never before seen it put in such a way that the scorned spouse might accept. Likewise, her sidestep on anal might have been enough. Or not, as your conclusion shows.
Great writing in every aspect. Balanced plot line development and character depth. I absolutely don’t get why you would throw in a zinger in the last couple sentences and call it an end. I call total bullshit! Had you stopped before the message from Lucinda, 100% support your position. But you didn’t, so bullshit - LOL! 4.5* overall.
Well written and enjoyable story. I liked the ending. We get to use our imagination.
Well written tale. I for one think Tim and Cora could reconcile, a RAAC is where the reconciliation happens where the wife never really shows contrition and the husband in some way feels he has to take it. It would happen outside the scope of the story, where tim and cora realize they miss each other. In my story Lucinda has a fight with the nerd, wants back w tim but then the nerd shows up again and she leaves again, Tim then realizes he misses Cora.
In the story it is Throggs Neck, not Frog's. As far as anchoring off of Liberty Island you wouldn't want to do that, especially in winter. Cold as hell, rough water and tough currents plus kind of smelly.
In the story he is using paper charts. These days in a boat like that they would use a nav system using GPS.
So he got Lucinda pregnant?
Really nicely written. I was very worried you were venturing into cliche territory with the "nursing you back to health" magical reconcilliation bit, but was pleasantly surprised to see you go a different direction with it.
I don’t know but I think it was a pretty good ending for a LW tale. While I complain about the length of tales that are longer than 3 to 5 pages, my complaints are because of my lack of the ability to read very well.
I get that some tales can’t be broken apart at cohesive points within the storyline. To me however, this was not one of them. This tale had 4 to 5 good break point that would have made the tale an easier read for the slow readers of the world like me.
Florida Gators are in Gainesville, Fl. Florida State Seminoles are in Tallahassee, Fl. These are the football team you mixed up. For those who are fans of these schools mixing them up is a major FOPA. But it didn’t really hurt the tale in its consumption.
OK now that I have given my negative points on the tale, I want close with positives. I enjoyed the way the tale flowed. While it didn’t take me by storm and kept me completely engaged the tale was well told and had solid storyline. The means of engaging the various characters keep the stream of interactions to a decent level of interest.
At about the 7th page I was starting to lose desire to continue. It was still a good read at that point but I just wasn’t into it as much as I thought I should. That change in the last 3 pages. The weaving of the heart attack as well as the resulting ending gave me exactly what I needed to move the tale into an Outstanding Read ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ category. Life Well Lived (LWL) is my favorite kind of ending.
Thanks for sharing your creation with us for our consumption.
Keep Writing
JH4Fun
Good, if slightly long winded story. However despite the length of the tale the ending felt like falling of a cliff. There was no proper resolution for any of the parties involved.
Your male protagonist ran away instead of dealing with his adulterous wife and that means he was not much of a man at all. And he is as much a cheat as his wife.
If the hint you dropped at the end really is a child on the way then hopefully it will find a male role model less morally bankrupt than your main character to raise it.
Sorry if the above sounds too critical, I did enjoy your story and appreciate the effort you have made to provide it gratis to ungrateful buggers like me......
Only issue i have is the years together kept changing from 26 to 30, to almost 40, you mentioned Cora was almost 50, so it just didn’t make a lot of sense, but i’m weird with numbers so that’s the only issue tbh, apart from the obvious that you need to give it an epilogue.
The story is an interesting read. I’d prefer a real ending, but not sure how I’d like to see it end. I understand his position; but, if God had that same mindset, there’d be no need for a Heaven. Forgiveness and knowledge that everyone fails at some point makes a reconciliation a hopeful possibility.
You spent 10 pages, rambled all over and then didn't finish the story with any kind of real ending. NOT good.
I find myself giving up on a lot of longer stories, this kept me coming back. At first I was kind of pissed at the ending but going through a divorce myself I find the ending very fitting for the story. I gave you 5 stars for this one!
Wonderful story: very well written and realistic. Cora had cheated twice, the 2nd time without even a s4cobd thought. Cora said she just knew she was going to fuck him. I feel bad for Tim losing the love and srcurity of his marriage, but whst's to stop Cora from fucking around with the next resident or nurse or pharmaceutical rep thst shakes her hand? Is she going to just drop trou and fuck him on the desk?
Tim's better off without her slutty ass.
Lastly, this story needs an ending, which should include some comeuppance for Dr. Asshole, MD.
Good story, enjoyed it a lot. Will probably read another of yours. Liked the ending.
This is a great story. Let's face it, Cora did it because she was attracted to the new, younger doctor. All the chemistry talk was nonsense. She wat attracted to him and bored with her husband. She had an affair with a younger man, did things with him she would not do with her husband and would still be doing it if she had not been caught. Game, set and match. There was no coming back from that. Then she tries to rationalize it to him. Weather she knows it or not she had developed feelings for the Dr. because she kept insisting the he be called Mark. Why do that when it antagonized her husband? He did the right thing and I hope everything works out for him, her well I think she deserves to live in Albany the rest of her life ;-)
A lot of time and effort went into writing this interesting story, which I gave 5 stars. But I see it's barely above a 4 rating. LW is driving decent authors away because the ratings here are so skewed. Two stories in the past 30 days are HOT, and those two just barely.
Comments tell the reason why. I thought this story ended in a way most movie screenwritters would end it and most viewers would appreciate. But here people knock points off because the author left it open. Then there's the crowd who knock off points because the MC didn't send Mark to the emergency room. Or because of a couple typos on a free all volunteer site. Too many readers want you to tell the story the way they would instead of getting off their ass and writing their own damn story.
Thanks tanglosax, for today's fine entertainment. I was pulling for a reconciliation, but wasn't disappointed and understood why that wasn't possible. Especially since she couldn't give a good explanation for her ending up in bed with Mark.
I'll be reading more of your stories.
Both in the story, and in the commentary, the term “mistake” is used. Anyone who uses that word is making lite of gross betrayal. Forgetting to buy milk is a mistake. Adultery is deliberately putting your selfish desires above the interests of the person you committed yourself to.
/
If a spouse chooses to forgive this heinous sin, second only to murder, so be it. They should do so with both the perpetrator and the victim fully acknowledging the marital crimes, and not attempting to minimize the impact by calling it a mistake!
/
ZK
I have been down this road and, simply put, don't understand these stories or how anyone goes through anything like this. When the relationship doesn't work, for whatever reason, you just pull up your big person clothes and move on. BTB if you really feel the need, but RAAC invariably just prolongs the inevitable. Been there also.
So, IMHO, this story should have been over in three pages, not 10.
One off can be a mistake. Repeated one offs are her looking for someone/something you're not providing.
And probably she thinks you're not capable of providing.
Two+ hookups: she found whatever/whoever it was she was looking for.
According to the official weather almanac of Bridgeport, CT, this story could have happened only in 1984.
So Cora gave him exemplary cardiac massage and saved his life. She didn't just let him die for the property and the insurance because they were still married at that point. So not a deeply calculating woman.
There we have it, obviously a work of fiction.
If one other story talks about setting someone you love free, I will scream!
Setting someone free is just a likely to be seen as you not being really bothered, and they weren't worth fighting over.
I don't agree that it needs an ending. Sometimes what she got is all you get. I really don't understand in these stories how the spouse can claim to love the other one completely and then have months or years or "it's just sex, you are the only one I love". Like that explanation actually means anything. And poor pitiful little wife, she can't figure out why she did what she did, she was someone else during that time. Horseshit. If that's true he can't trust her for anything, she might decide to see what killing someone feels like and kill him in his sleep. But it's just murder, he's the one she really loves. 5 stars for his lack of wimpy giving in to her and for standing by his resolution. He can't forgive her, he doesn't know her well enough for that.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️. Loved the “nursing him back to health” plot twist, but the factual inaccuracies mentioned by other commentators were distracting (CPR, ‘Gators,etc.). Also, I’m getting tired of the “I don’t understand” cliche that most MCs drop. She explained pretty well that they were in a rut, and neither of them acknowledged it, then she got a chance to do something risky and wrong…the temptation of being naughty tipped her over. Every married person understands these dynamics, but a lawyer doesn’t get it? How about “Cora, I’ve felt that temptation, too. The thing is good spouses resist it and work with their spouses to fix the problem; they don’t lie, cheat and break their vows for 5 freaking months. I still love you, but you spent five months showing that you don’t deserve trust, and I won’t ever trust you again.”
Gators in Tallahassee?
Widow maker is just that. You dont survive it unless you immediate help. Like next to a hospital with level one trauma center. When your heart is stopped for an hour, no matter if CPR is done, you are not surviving.
Great story in there is no coming back from the affair. What happens next time she shakes hands with someone she knows she will have sex with?
O.K., a nitpick comment. The Florida Gators are in Gainesville, not Tallahassee!
That was a good one. A real story with a little bit of everything that makes it worth reading a story this long. It had some really well developed characters that seemed human rather the usual LW caricatures. The ending wasn’t quite up to the story, but it was so good overall that I didn’t mind. A *5 star effort.
Very well done, a good story and one that I think represents the questions a man or woman would have of a cheating spouse. I enjoyed reading it.
Another story, or recounting, were it real life, and it happens, of an attraction leading to sex outside of normal life. The cheaters do not have to schedule their entire lives around each other, do not have the daily arguments and disappointments that couples have, so everything is better in their selfish little incomplete microcosm. This, while they are also stealing some of the daily joys and triumphs that would have reinforced their marriages, and their relationships with their spouses.
Five for you
If Lucinda is pregnant, his life is truly a mess. Not free from his marriage either legally or emotionally, he suddenly will have to agree to consign his third child to death (and then deal with that grief) or to begin a new relationship with a much younger woman, no doubt less than thrilled to be his baby momma, as he tries to come to terms with the end of three decades of his life and his new status as a cardiac survivor. If that's not enough and there is no abortion, he will soon get to revisit all the joys, responsibilities and terrors of parenting a newborn. No matter which available path he follows, his life will be filled with the kind of unending stress guaranteed to produce a poor cardiac outcome. Likelihood of two year survival is probably less than 25 percent.
4 stars - yes, adding that last bit with Lucinda was a bad idea and made for a disappointing ending.
- I also agree with the RAAC rules - ONCE&DONE and in special cases of ONE single episode of rape, drugs or alcohol beyond the victim's control, there might be the possibility of a RAAC - BUT 5 months of enjoyable sex? - NO WAY IN HELL.
Thank heavens that asshole HDK didn't try insert his brand of poison into the comments section.
Good story. Well written. Well done
A very insightful and thought-provoking story. I thought the telephone message at the end was superflous and spoiled the overall narrative, but I particularly liked the 'angel' image. Cora was a combination of an aspirational and a real, fallen angel. All of us want the pure, unblemished angel, but we're all a combination of angel and devil. Perhaps one can't have the one without the other, as alas, we're all human...
I enjoyed the hell out of your tale. I’m looking forward to reading your other stories. Just finished reading the comments to date; overall pretty damn good. I’m not qualified to critic your abilities. But you successfully took me along for a great tale with really believable characters. Daughters didn’t bring a lot to the party; but the Dad connection showed through. Like so many other commenters; I want to hear more about Lucinda, Tim & Cora. I’ll be watching & hoping. Thanks for sharing your tale!
I want the 30 minutes of my life I just wasted reading this. The Ranger 31 is nice, their new Ranger 43 is even better. Shoulda stayed with your Angel
Well done. And mostly logical and believable. One major metaphysical flaw is when an author has a character claim that the character doesn't know why they did something. Person A can claim to person B that they don't know why they did something. And since person B can't read person A's mind person B has no choice but to accept that person A is really that self ignorant, or is lying to person B, or is lying to themself. So it makes sense that despite what person A claims, person B can't prove otherwise, but also can assume whatever B wants about person A's claim: incredibly dense, lying to herself, lying to me.
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But you created Cora, her thoughts and her actions. So when you have her tell Tim she doesn't know why she fucked the asshole, regularly, with enthusiasm and excitement and adventure, it comes out as phony, deceitful, unbelievable. Because you Did reveal some of her thoughts and actions early in the story when she was reveling in fucking the asshole. And there was no confusion on her part, no hesitation, no regret, and little or no guilt. No fog of lust or temporary insanity. When Cora met the asshole doctor she immediately wanted and decided to fuck him, because she thought it might be an exciting and satisfying adventure. And she was right, so she continued to fuck him and experiment with her special new sex partner. And she would have kept on fucking him until She was tired of it. That was why she did it. You as much told us what she was thinking early in the story. She new exactly why she did it, no therapy needed. She did it, and kept doing it, because she valued the new sex and her new sex partner MORE than she valued her self respect, her virtue, and her conscience. She had no conscience. And Tim realized that her remorse and contrition were entirely driven Not by what she had done to him and their family, it was driven by what her betrayal and deceit Had Cost Her. And the Only reason the whore might not cheat again is not because it is her personal failure of virtue and character. No, the reason she might not cheat again is because she just can't be certain she can get away with it again. She explained to Tim with great clarity how sex with somebody you have no connections and commitment to allows you to focus entirely on the sex, and thereby have the best sex possible. And Tim knew he would never be able to compete with that kind of sexual abandon. Tim knew he could never be Cora's no holds barred unlimited sex partner; that would always be somebody strange and new, for Cora.
\
So it was perfectly logical, inescapable, that Tim divorce Cora. Cora is damaged goods. And there is no indication that Cora could ever be a loyal faithful wife to Any man, not over the long haul. Another chemical reaction with another new handsome guy, and Cora is back on her knees and taking a new thrilling cock up her ass. Tim knows that too.
\
So the sequel with Lucinda will be exciting. Of course she's pregnant, but 20 years is a huge age gap. I vote that Tim reunites with Lucinda, helps her with the child, then helps her find a man her own age to have a future with. That could take a few years. Then Tim will find a boating and a life partner, see Cora on the occasions of their daughters' big events, and will live happily and healthy without the cheating whore who abandoned him and herself for some strange cock. Lots of options how that unfolds. If Cora ends up in a long term stable relationship then that would be complete bullshit, unless it happens when she can no longer enjoy sex. Cora has been to the mountain top, and no husband can go there with her.
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Thanks again. Very thought provoking and enjoyable.
Jesus fucking Christ. Do a little research if you're going to go in to details about a real place.
"And by the way, no crocodiles in Florida, just alligators."
Yeah, no, Florida not only has crocs, they're salt water tolerant crocs & they live in the brackish areas between the sea & the swamps in SoFla. You ABSOLUTELY can get crocs in the Inter Coastal that far south, in fact they like to hang around marinas to eat boat trash. Proof: />
More to the point gators can & do tolerate salt water briefly and have shown up in the Intracoastal, but usually further north.
"Honey, the University of Florida, way up in Tallahassee, has a football team they call the Gators"
No. No they do NOT, and I say that speaking as a University of Florida alumnus. The University of Florida is in GAINESVILLE. Tallahassee is home to the Florida State Seminoles, our die hard rivals. It's one of the oldest and ugliest rivalries in collegiate football, there are places in Florida where someone would shank you for a mix up like that.
You done good. Well written, plot line is unbroken, characters well developed and true to themselves. The ending is just fine for most experienced adults. Good stuff. Thank you.
What a piece of shit is this HDK. The only thing he likes is wimpy men behaving like the cocksucker he is
Great story. Brought tears to my eyes, which is unusual. It was a big betrayal, for sure, but I think at his age I would have been inclined to give her a bit more time. The marriage would never be the same but it could still be good.
I agree with that the Cora's description of why the sex was different deserves 5 stars on it's own!
I don't have any problem with a story ending that makes the readers think (and of course leave the story open to another part if the author wants to go there).
But the one thing I did have a problem with is the daughters. Did Cora never think to call them about the heart attack, did they really not fly out to see their dad either immediately while he was in hospital or during his recovery phase? The only thing that I can think of is that the author didn't want the family all together as that would have changed the dynamic significantly
Story is ok as it stands, and the ending is just fine as well. Readers need to be able to deal with plots that aren’t always gift wrapped with every question answered. What I find hilarious is that these typical Anonymous comments that are more distraught over mixing up Gainesville and Tallahassee than the plot of the story. Typical red neck American response! Story? What story? They got our football team wrong! I guess the people up there in Albany NY, aren’t as fixated on your Gators or Seminoles as you’d like to believe. May you should get De Santa to send more folks north on his charter service so they’d be better informed.
Entertaining story. Glad the author shared. For as long as the story was there's a whole lot more left to Tim & Cora's story. Kinda disappointed the author chose to stop when he did. This doesn't need an epilogue. It needs another full chapter.
If you're going to delve into college football please get the cities and teams right. The college football team in Tallahassee is the Seminoles. The Gators are in Gainesville.
Great story! I thought you were heading toward a RAAC ending, but this was much more realistic. 5*
Almost quit reading after seeing "sleep that knits the raveled sleave of care" in the first sentence. I understood the meaning from the individual words, but wondered why someone would state something in such a way. Turns out, Shakespeare did, as 2 minutes of searching revealed it as a quote from Macbeth. This created a dichotomy for me, since I enjoy a good turn of phrase (good enough for Bill S) almost as much as I appreciate brevity and clarity in stories (get to the point, using everyday words).
There were some errors, but not a lot considering the story is 10 Literotica pages long. Overall the writing was fine. The story was pretty standard for the type. The author did a nice fake on the reconciliation angle by having the wife returning to save his life, countering her earlier transgressions. It probably resembles what real life is like more than a snappy BTB or RAAC ending would, but real life can be boring to watch.
I normally scoff at those clamoring for more at the end of the story, but this time I would agree with the horde. You don't have to like the author's choice of ending, but this one doesn't even seem to have that. Really, what was the point?
Instead you are left with the hint that he possibly knocked up Lucinda while she was temporarily broken up with her boyfriend. What would her pregnancy from another man do to her engagement? Why would the author drop a mess like this on the end of the story, unless sequels or continuations are planned? All I can say is; for the author's next story, I am skipping ahead to the last page before I commit to reading another 10 Lit pages.
Overall, I enjoyed this story quite a lot. Good characters, believable plot, etc. I was disappointed that the husband apologized for anything. The end of the marriage was all her fault. He should have recognized that when she hesitated to call her lover an asshole. Also, I would have liked to hear about some negative consequences for the lover. Overall though, this is a good story.
I liked the beginning, but the ending was very weak. I have absolutely no problem reading a 10 page story, but you must finish it properly, otherwise the reader feels like you wasted their time.
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This needed at least another couple of pages. You still had to wrap up the divorce, and resolve the situation with the obviously pregnant Lucinda. Cora's reaction to finding out that her soon-to-be-ex-husband was about to become a father again, with a woman their daughter's age, would have been priceless. It's a real shame we were robbed of those dramatic scenes.
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One other point: "she's been a good wife and mother for almost thirty years"
Umm wtf? Did Tim conveniently forget that Cora also cheated on him as a newlywed? Cora was a piece of shit for the entirety of their marriage.
This should have ended with Tim celebrating at jettisoning the deceitful whore, and trading her in for a woman half her age.
Thanks for sharing...
I really enjoyed the fact you tried to make a it realistic (in your minds-eye). For me this story is a strong 4* & a possible 5* for effort. But to be honest this story didn't bring anything new or challenging, in fact its pretty impartial so if that's what you where going for you succeeded